I'm ending a one year and a half relationship today. Any advice?

[BelgianGuy20]

It's been on my mind for a long time. I don't feel happy with her anymore and staying with criples my sanity. I'm planning to do it face to face. I'm gonna be straight forward respect her emotions. Anything else you advice me?

[btbc92]

First thing you have to look at before you say you want to break up with that person:

1. Don't break up with them just because you're unhappy. That person is not responsible for your own personal happiness.
2. Make sure that you have valid reasons that doesn't have to do with sex, or anything shallow and petty for you leaving.
3. Talk to her regarding your insecurities and issues you would like to clear up and change.

Reasons why you need to break up:

1. You tried communicating with her and there is no mutual effort.
2. There is no mutual respect.
3. Both of you feel used.
4. Both of you have no desire to change.
5. You made this relationship all about sex.
6. You have no desire for higher commitment, such as marriage.
7. There were lots of boundaries being crossed.
8. You both no longer get along, and everything is always an argument.
9. Both of you have conflicting views, values, morals, principals, and beliefs. You can't respect them nor acknowledge them, and everything about it leads to arguments anyway.
10. You personally feel that your emotions and feelings no longer matter to them anymore.
11. Both of you are highly immature and unhealthy.
12. You don't feel safe in the relationship.
13. One or both of you are abusive to each other. Specially verbally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and psychologically. Not just physically.

And there is plenty more to somewhat add to this list. But seriously think this through. Sometimes if you need a break, take a break. But breakup with good intentions. You can't make the pain less for her. Breakups effect us as if somebody we know and loved died in front of us. It is trauma but psychologically, mentally and emotionally. If you two have been sexual, which shouldn't have happened, now that double and triple the stab wounds. Make sure that both of you can come to terms with this. But don't dump her just because you're tired of her. If you were so tired of her, you shouldn't have dated her in the first place. Please take this as both an advice, life lesson, and a friendly warning. Dating is not for this nonsense and to be going after one partner to another.

Again, don't use this as an excuse to relationship hop. If you have to break up, make this as something that will help you grow and mature as a young adult. Because stuff like that mess with other people's heads. Do this responsibly. For your and her sake.

[HOAAH]

be empathetic and focus on her feelings too. Tell her you understand that she is probably feeling sad, and disappointed and upset that the relationship isn't working either. Let her know you understand she wanted a relationship with commitment and something that will last, that doesn't give up easily but that you can't be that for her and that you are sorry. good luck

[Pinay_ako]

Just do it but break it off gently. Let her cry, get angry but be there to answer all her questions. Don't leave her hanging. But once you leave, do not use false hopes on her for second chances if there is none. Rip that band aid off. Good luck.

[Listening5]

Advice, well I was gonna tell you to be honest. You are already doing that. Face to face and laying everything on the table is the right way to do it.
Sometimes you have to, whatever reason you might have, you already made the decision to yourself so finish it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Read this:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a47275-let-s-be-practical-how-to-end-a-relationship-minimize-the-stress

[lovelyhoneybones]

These kind of things are never easy. No matter how the relationships ends or why, you're still going to feel some hurt at some point. Don't back track during this break up, you know you won't to be done with her, so be done. Also, keep yourself occupied. That's always good when getting over a break up.

[thaiboxmob]

Bro, if you go out there and translate your emotions with words for her than you are THE MAN and earned my fullest respect. Take your time to explain how you feel. Empty your mind and let your guts , feelings , emotions , heart and mind flow away and speak with a clear mind

[cookie_monster007]

look Mr guy, are you loving her for YOUR pleasure or are you loving her for who she is? If you are doing the 2nd option, you will never breakup with her. Maybe she loved you more than her life. and you are saying you are not happy anymore? Get a life man.

[BelgianGuy20]

It's not lust don't worry. It's vison on life.

[cookie_monster007]

okay. then do as you please

[mooky06]

You have to do what you have to do. It's better to end things and not lead someone on. I would suggest to be honest and supportive. Breaking someone's heart is difficult. Give her closure aswell

[Logorithim]

Sounds like you're handling this quite sensitively, which is good. Wait a bit before trying to date again.

[Anonymous]

Im also goinf through similar situation. I just dont know how to end it. It's been on my mind and wakes me up in the middle of night. He is a bit emotional and dramatic so is making it hard on me to break it off...

Just dont hurt her. Have a civik conversation and be sure it's what u really want. Good luck.

[Niamhx]

Be honest, say it how it is and ensure you fully explain why, she can't hate you for feeling the way you do because you need to prioritise yourself and your own feelings as you're gonna be with yourself a lot longer than anyone else is, if she hates you for your decision don't worry about it because at the end of the day that shows it's a toxic relationship anyway, always remember to put yourself first in situations like these, how can you keep her happy if you're not happy yourself?

[Cookielove195]

I would say that is is going to hurt. But it will eventually get better. One day you will wake up and won't be sad it will have been for the best.

If you can't see yourself with them anymore it's time to move on.

[momo770]

If you know it's over, it's always brave to face it. Take your time processing the emotional baggage and move on

[meatballs21]

If you really intend to go through with it, GO THROUGH WITH IT. Too many people are all gung ho about leaving toxic relationships until they are face to face with the person and tears/pleading/bargaining change their mind.

[SitaDevi]

Explain to her your reasons, respect her responses good or bad reactions and give her a valid reason why it's good to break up.

[undos]

It's good to end it honestly instead of leading her on further. Just be honest with each other. It sucks when you find out the guy you respected just said a bunch of bs.

[Anonymous]

This all depends on whether she has exhibited any Bunny Boiler tendencies in the past. Is she stable? secure? sane?

[Howardcobra]

Tell her you've been cheating on her for the entire relationship

[VernitaGreen]

Say it with a straight face. No stuttering, no cliche lines, just tell her straightforward.

[SuperEunuch]

Can you still be friends?

[harpyladysisters]

don't move on so fast or make her jealous

[vamshi9090]

Do you had a perfect reason?

[BaileyisDarcy]

Nobody has a "perfect reason"
Sometimes you just dont see yourself with that person anymore and staying with them becomes cruel to the both of you.

[CT_CD]

Record it