Why are people against the idea of a prenup?

[Summeroflove]

It’s supposed to be there to protect both people in the case of a divorce. Most people don’t plan on getting divorced but I would be highly suspect of someone not wanting to sign one. Maybe it’s not “romantic” to think about eventually getting a divorce. But it can happen to anyone it’s the reason you have liability insurance.

It’s something two people should sit down and talk about working it out together. That if anything did happen and the marriage fails. One person or the other isn’t screwed over in court. Number one is protecting the man if he’s the bread winner. Making sure that he can keep assets he’s worked hard for. Making sure that she’s not just marrying with the intention to divorce and take everything with her.

But it should also protect the woman as well. Such as if she later on became the bread winner when the marriage splits. Such as if a woman’s financially dependent on a man making sure she has a backup plan and she can get some sort of alimony.

So it should be a agreement for both people because sometimes the man and sometimes the woman get the short end of the stick. Last thing someone wants is to end up homeless with kids getting absolutely nothing. Because they had no protection plan.

[Anonymous]

Only women are against them. Men are not, for obvious reasons.

Women object because asking for a prenup is like saying he doesn't trust her. And she's right, but women have earned that distrust. No one goes into marriage expecting divorce, and yet half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and men get screwed in divorce court.

What is sad is that the reason for prenups is that the court system is biased against men. If it weren't, prenups would not even be a thing.

[Summeroflove]

Well the joke could be on the women agaisnt them. Because a prenup should be there to protect both spouses.

What happens if there is no agreement of sone level of alimony? What if she’s financially dependent on her husband? When he leaves her or she leaves him…. What happens when if she never worked a real job when she has no work experience? She will be working crappy low end jobs just to keep her if not worse her kids off the streets

[Summeroflove]

What happens if at some point she becomes the breadwinner? It causes financial issues and she’s giving him
Half her permissions and retirements….

[Summeroflove]

A real prenup should be there to have both spouses best interests in mind. If there is a split neither person is going to be fucked over

[Summeroflove]

But I will say not all women are distrustful and plenty of men are too. It depends on who you marry it’s not fair to say to a woman whose never done anything wrong just because other women have done it. The same as to a man just because other men have.

[Summeroflove]

But even if a woman fully intends on divorcing her husband. Narcissistic women…. Sometimes the divorce doesn’t go the way they plan. Especially if the husband documents everything and is the one to file for it. Her plans of taking everything he has worked for could FAIL… and she could be the one living on the streets. Why do I know? I’ve seen it happen

[Summeroflove]

And believe me I’ve seen men get completely screwed over unfairly. But I’ve seen men too lawyer up and it did NOT go well for his wife.

One example is a woman who refuses to work (not bashing all stay at home moms some are amazing women) but being financially dependent on her husband. That woman divorces and ends up…. Basically homeless. Starting over from scratch with little to zero work experience. Working crappy and odd jobs to make ends meet. When the lavish lifestyle goes away.

The other example is two working spouses but the man makes significantly more money…. But something happens maybe medical related or he just looses his job…. He is unemployed or is working a lower paying him. His wife becomes the breadwinner
That puts a financial strain on the relationship and she decides to divorce.

Only to be SHOCKED….
That now that she’s making more money it’s her retirements and pensions and everything else….. and giving him half of that.

[Summeroflove]

As well as women who run off with other men and get for abandonment. Infidelity. Among other things.

Divorce is nasty. If they were smart they would have make a plan if something happened.

[Summeroflove]

I’ve noticed narcissistic women especially almost always have a plan. By the time they file for divorce they have strategically planned it out for a long time.

But what happens when that plan doesn’t go her way? What happens when the husband drops a bombshell and leaves before she was ready? Uh oh…

[ProbablyClueless]

Because it implies that the couple believes the marriage might fail. There's something to be said for the idea of energy and intention in other aspects of life.

I don't know... maybe I'm just cynical, but I think of marriage as more of a business arrangement than a statement of love.

[LazerBean]

I think most of the time, it's because it is either seen as the other person saying that they don't believe the marriage will work out, or that they believe they are just marrying for money. Most people would not want to marry someone who will only marry under the condition that they can track the other person 24/7, or do a DNA test on each kid they have, or that their spouse gets regular STD tests. But All those would pretty much be on the same level as asking for a prenup.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of people go into marriage without planning just assuming it can’t happen to them. Until…. It does.

[Summeroflove]

Plus what happens when someone does have children that isn’t theirs or contracts a STD….

Many people marry too fast and for the wrong reasons to learn the hard way later in life.

[LazerBean]

All of that is very true. And I agree that most people don't think it can happen to them until it does, but I don't think that statement can be left at just that. Because almost all of the time, even if they do dnt see it coming, people on the outside of the relationship saw it coming. Divorce almost never is unpredictable.

I do think most people would probably benefit from prenups nowadays, but that is only because I also think most people would sooner do that there is a spectrum between marriage material and divorce material, and what characteristics puts someone in their place on the spectrum.

[Summeroflove]

I agree and relationships take HARD conversations. Where you want to be loyal to one another and stick by one another no matter what with the exceptions of cheating or physical abuse.

But many times many people see it coming before they do. When people are too infatuated with one another and sort of in fantasy land

[LazerBean]

Yes indeed. That's why it's so important to have trusted family and friends too

[Summeroflove]

Yeah and listen to people. Yes some people get jealous and want to sabotage but some people can spot love bombing as well as know something about someone you don’t

[LazerBean]

Agreed!

[DishLady]

Bc they’re stupid. Prenups are like “his” and “hers” towels, but with money. Only a gold digger should be upset with the prospect of a prenup.

[Summeroflove]

I AGREE! It’s funny when these gold diggers too didn’t want a prenup agreement. Got financially dependent on her husband… and he leaves her. If things don’t go her way in court…

She could be starting all over again with no real work experience besides maybe some odd jobs if she isn’t too lazy…. With no alimony or if the kids are grown up without child support. That or with the kids if she gets custody. Being homeless basically with the kids starting over

[Summeroflove]

I agree it’s a major red flag when only
One person has protections. They could be the other extreme where a man just wants control over a woman as well as plans on discarding her at some point as well.

But a real agreement should be protections for both people. Who gets what. If she’s financially dependent on her husband… She can get some level of alimony.

As well as what
Happens if a gold digger at some point fown the like becomes the bread winner…: and she gives him half of everything from her pensions to her retirement.

[Summeroflove]

So…. Even if someone’s selfish. Things may not go someone’s way or the way they thought it would and they end up getting the short end of the stick.

[DishLady]

Usually in those cases kids are also sorted in the prenup along with the conditions of what the kids would get. There are different types of prenups. There are also "infidelity" clauses that indicate what the person does/doesn't get in those cases (as opposed to leaving due to violence or some other reason).

[Nikki1989]

I would be highly suspect of someone wanting me to sign one. That is a sign your marriage is already on shaky ground before you have even started.

[Summeroflove]

I tend to disagree it’s basically insurance. Now if someone’s only wanting it for themselves and they’re the only one with any protections that’s a red flag. That they probably plan on discarding you.

But what can happen as well as to the woman. If she’s financially dependent on her husband at one point and the marriahe for some reason or another fails. She can end up homeless witn the children. Maybe getting child support barely making ends meet. Especially if she never worked a real job since then…. And has no work experience

[Summeroflove]

What also happens if at some point the woman becomes the bread winner? And she has to give him half of everything…. Happens too where a man looses a high paying job and the woman makes more money. It causes financial issues
And she ends up giving half her retirements and pensions and everything

[DrPepper12]

EVERYONE should have a pre nup disclosing assets n liabilities. It's common sense!!

[Summeroflove]

I agree and women too! I agree if someone’s only putting protections for themselves there a MAJOR red flag that someone wants control over you as well as wants to be able to discard of you later.

[Summeroflove]

But it should have both peoples best intentions in mind. If anything happens

[DrPepper12]

Yes. It's to protect both. Getting married these days without seeing a credit report is NUTS

[Lostgirl611]

Because you doubt them and don't love them enough so if there is a lack of love then why get married, ykwim?

[trumpetplayerforlife]

People don't like the idea of thinking of it ending not some don't want to think like that while others are just looking out for each other

[Manuelwe]

It save time later as prenups are still do not stop you going to court for a divorce

[Summeroflove]

They don’t. If divorce is going to happen it’s going to happen and it can happen to anyone

[Manuelwe]

The marriage looses love and money and violence get involve. The pinup goes put the window. For the poorer side of couple

[GAGsucksballs89170]

Because it's assuming it'll fail, right out of the gate. If you're thinking something will fail, going into it, it will

[Nikki1989]

Bingo, we have a winner!

[GAGsucksballs89170]

And yes I didn't get MHO

[jahaims]

Because if you don't fully trust someone you shouldn't marry them.

[Flirty42]

They think that how they feel in the moment will be how they always feel