I honestly oppose the concept of alimony , what are your views on it?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why alimony is given by a spouse to his or her former spouse after divorce. The reason behind alimony is to be able to incur daily expenditure. But I believe that an individual should only be himself (herself) responsible for earning livelihood and satisfying their needs. Why is the former spouse who is earning high income responsible for this?
Obviously if there are children then it should be allowed. But even then , every spouse should contribute 50 % as it is equal responsibility of both. And it should be looked upon that that money is used only for child. This can be done by making mandatory for custody holder to prepare a monthly budget or something.

[Anonymous]

If a partner is a homemaker or child caretaker, I absolutely support it. They're putting in energy and love into those things, and it wouldn't be fair to punish them after they sacrifice their youth in the relationship.
Partners also tend to support each other and take part in the success of their partner. Whether it's losing time with them due to ambitions, helping in whatever way they can, or encouraging and supporting them.
Marriage is a partnership, not just one way. The only exception I really view is if there's huge difference in financial standing before the marriage, though it wouldn't be absolute either, depending on how long the relationship lasted.
And by homemaker I don't mean someone who just hangs out at the house while the other person provides. I mean someone who cooks all the meals, cleans, does special things, takes care of plants/pets, does the errands, takes care of their body to be attractive for their partner. Being a stay at home wife (generally wife and not husband) does not necessarily mean being lazy, most aren't. They do things that a stay at home mom would never find time for. Most the things I listed wouldn't get done "all" the time, or it would only get done half as well. Obvioisly being a stay at home wife is easier, but It also leads to a more desirable wife for a man; in certain ways if that's what he's looking for. Most men want the mom ofc, but do enjoy the wife part before also.

[TonyMetal___86]

A woman's basic role is becoming a housewife

[AnggieGirl]

Not anymore. We work and raise kids. Most guys can’t juggle that

[TonyMetal___86]

@AnggieGirl you keep working till you die, i'll marry a lady who adores becoming a housewife...
Juggle that!

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Thats not how alimony works.

Let's put it this way. Let's pretend you and I are married for 10 years. We decide you are going to work and im going to stay at home to take care of the house. At year 10 you get bored and decide to leave me. By that point you've made me completely dependent on your income. I no longer have money coming in which means I can't eat, I have no place to stay and I have no work experience because the last 10 years I was taking care of the home.

Alimony ensures the higher bread winner can't just bail and leave the lower bread earner with nothing. It keeps the lower bread earner from feeling trapped in a marriage because of financial reasons.

It should absolutely stay, especially since it doesn't care about gender, only who makes more.

[Teaku94]

I definitely learned something. Thanks! 👌🏼

[Asker]

I agree with your point But what if both are working and both are equally participating in house responsibilities then there's no need of alimony.
I honestly believe that while marrying there should also be an agreement of how ones gonna run the households and about alimony.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

If both are making equal money and there are no kids involved then alimony wouldn't be a thing.

You are talking about a prenuptial and those absolutely exist.

[Asker]

Ok I didn't knew that

[shaysh87]

Some girls give up their entire Careers to become stay home moms for 10+ years. Any work experience you had 15 years ago would be irrelevant.

[t-8900]

which is why i have no idea why guys ever bring up wanting a stay at home mother/wife still. its like a chance for career suicide in a way. Plus i would never want all the burdens placed on me. If i fail then everyone suffers. if i lose a job then wife can cushion us until I find another job.

[bamesjond0069]

Im not against it if the breadwinner bails for no fault or if the breadwinner gives the homemaker a legit reason. But if the breadwinner leaves for a reason or the homemaker leaves for no fault reasons it makes no sense. Nor if both work even if one earns substantially more they shouldn't be penalized for working harder or being smarter etc. Seeing as most couples today both work. And if not seeing as the men are usually the breadwinner and seeing as women usually initiate divorce and many divorces these days are no fault. In general alimony should not apply to most divorces probably only a very small portion. But this isn't true, alimony is quite prevalent. So i think its best to just remove it as being the default and if people want an alimony provision they should put it in a prenup since it should only apply to a small number of divorces.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

No reason to abolish it to a prenuptial. If you don't want it as part of your marriage, then agree to not to request for one in your prenuptial like others who have done the same.

[bamesjond0069]

But common sense is why would you make something that should not be for most people part of standard laws? Its mainly outdated concept except for extreme minority of situations.

Personally idc because marriage laws are so anti marriage i think over the next few decades we will see a trend of non legally married families having more stability than married.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

If it isn't broke, why fix it?

The problem isn't that alimony exists. It's that women are either expected to be more of the caretaker type and when they do work, make less than their male counterparts.

A no fault divorce is super useful in cases where there isn't kids involved or in the cases of abuse because you don't need the agreement of the second party. It also leaves the judge to decide the splitting of finances. By removing that part you basically just let the higher breadwinner walk away without the consent of the lower breadwinner and then not have to contribute to alimony which for someone who is a caretaker can be devastating.

I'm not for a system where someone can make someone completely dependent on their income and then drop them at will leaving then homeless.

If you don't want a prenup then just understand that as the higher bread winner you will have certain responsibilities.

[bamesjond0069]

"If it isn't broke, why fix it?" This is where we disagree. With marriage at an all time low and divorce at an all time high... most couples not marrying... id call that broke. And the risk of alimony being improperly applied is one of a few reasons causing this trend.

"I'm not for a system where someone can make someone completely dependent on their income and then drop them at will leaving then homeless." I agree in general but say the homemaker cheats, why do they deserve alimony? They ought to have forfeit it by willfully ending the marriage. Unfortunately this is not always the case in practice. So many breadwinners just won't marry. That leaves the homemakers with zero legal protection even if they do everything right... which is a situation where they probably should have protection of some kind.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

If they cheat and you can prove it then absolutely they should not get alimony.

In fact, I'd limit how they can even access the funds for child support such as a set amount being paid but then receipts being required for everything since they obviously can't be trusted.

My only concern is one party making the accusation without proof just to get out of paying or having enough money to hire a fake witness just to save money in the long run and the lesser breadwinner being unable to afford representation to fight it. I dont think it happens enough to warrant NOT having a rule against cheaters but yeah in cases where cheating occurred in all for not giving them a dime (unless for child support)

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

legally non married families usually have both spouses working. No woman is gonna drop her career , to become stay home mom for 15 years, then get divorced , turn flat broke, unable to make a living after that. The reality is, no employer would care about your degree / work experience from 15 years ago. Anything you had 15 years ago is long forgotten.

Having a family without marriage is a thing of young modern couples. Modern couples tend to respect careers and prefer both spouses to be working.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 i mean women are quite desperate these days when hardly any men are both desired by women for marriage and willing to get married. Many actually are willing to do such a thing. I've certainly not had any issues with finding women to date who want to be a homemaker and accept i would never legally marry them.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

no smart woman would be willing to give up her career to become a illegitimate homemaker. An unmarried homemaker is the same thing as an "illegitimate housewife".

But Housewives are a thing of the past and are becoming increasingly uncommon and not respected.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 fortunately for me when you're attractive and wealthy there is an endless supply of women willing to be whatever it is you want them to be.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

as soon as you lose your looks and wealth, those gold diggers will be no where to be seen.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 they won't because they won't get a penny if they do.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

relationships that evolve around looks or money typically do not last. A woman who is only around you for $10 a blow job, doesn't truly want you.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 i dont have to pay anyone. Do you think all wealthy men pay gold diggers? Like normal nice women dont like wealthy men too. Smh.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

what do you have to offer to women if you're not gonna pay them? No smart, sane woman will stay with you if she knows that you're just looking for sex with hot bimbos.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

I can guarantee that a wealthy man doesn't matter if he never spends his money on her.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 I don't know but lots of girls like me and i only date women who want to be homemakers. I have no use for a working woman since im wealthy i dont work. So i dont need to sit home alone all day. But nah i dont spend money on girls buying them nonsense like some sugar daddy. Wtf. I mostly date girls from church.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

you can't offer love, you can't offer money, you can't offer marriage, you can't offer stability.

so what can you offer? the world doesn't work that way, you must offer something in order to keep a woman.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 why can't i offer love? Smh. Whatever i have girls like so i must got something good.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

how do you offer love if you only date 18 yr old girls then dump them by the time they turn 25? this is not love, this is prostitution.

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 ah another fake profile... why do you have so many?

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

It doesn’t change the fact that you have nothing to offer

[bamesjond0069]

@shaysh87 guess women are pretty desperate then... just as i said above.

[shaysh87]

@bamesjond0069

i doubt you have any women chasing you. If your dating life was so good, you wouldn't be on this site

[Shizunk]

When women marry and decide to take care of children, they are taking a risk. I believe they should choose good men and society should pressure men into not leaving instead of settling failure with payments, but if a woman sacrifices her career, she obviously should be given alimony, especially if the man is the one leaving, cheating or otherwise sabotaging the relationship.
I can't support the idea of breadwinners avoiding responsibility. Naturally if there are no children and both work, there should be no alimony.

[TonyV]

Depends what kind of skills your ex has, if and how long they were just a stay at home parent.

So I can think of examples where alimony is fair but it need to be treated mote like unemployment, if you aren't putting job aps then you loose it, or just make it a have a time limit of like 1 or 2 years

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe alimony should only be given if the ex spouse is too sick to work or was abandoned for another man or woman or their are kids involved

[tatianamay]

Well, in the future, if I do get married, and if the marriage ends in divorce, I would not accept my ex husband's money. I would probably give alimony to him if he was in a low-paying job. And yes, if children are allowed, it should be 50/50.

[tatianamay]

children are involved*

[Asker]

I like your viewpoint

[t-8900]

i think alimony should only be temporary and only in the case of one spouse not having work maybe 2-3 years from divorce date or while giving proof they have been looking for work but with no hires. awesome on the kids thing though. no reason for anyone to stop parents and children from seeing each other.

[TrueConfection]

I've been married for 20 years. My husband owns a business built on sweat and tears. My sweat and tears are invested in his business, my support in his continuing education, my running the household that gave him the time he needed to advance, my time and ideas... If he bailed, I shouldn't be left to get a job at McDonald's while he continues on.

[shaysh87]

Exactly

[ObscuredBeyond]

Learn a trade in your spare time.

[TrueConfection]

@ObscuredBeyond. Ohhhhh!!! Ok. Great advice! If only I'd thought of that.

[Daniela1982]

What happens if the woman was a stay at home mother and had no job or retirement? And if she got a job how could she work and pay for child care and an apartment by herself? In those cases where the man was the breadwinner then he should pay alimony. After all, she sacrificed a career to have his kids.

[genericname85]

Well in some setups, one partner (usually the woman) may take the job of doing the chores, which after breaking of the contract of marriage will leave them with a big hit to their employability. Of course it's not always as simplistic. I think you shouldn't have to pay alimony so your ex can live the bum life. But at the same time, having to get back into a labour market after a long time is bad. And it's easily exploited by people who are just lazy.

[NathanDavis]

don't divorce or have children... and your money will be alright

[Asker]

Better don't Marry?

[NathanDavis]

marry your money... but know that, money tends to leave as well

[Asker]

Money is the most essential thing and it stays with us... If we do ppr planning

[NathanDavis]

same goes for marriage and parenthood

[ObscuredBeyond]

Money vanishes as easily as the next stolen election can result in inflation. Better to store up treasures of faith, as no thief or politician can take it from you.

[Texaskid1]

@ObscuredBeyond I second that.

[Anonymous]

Marriage, Divorce and Alimony are about the money anyway.
Hell, alimoney has the word money right in it.

[bamesjond0069]

It made sense when women stayed home and divorce only happened in mostly extreme circumstances not just simply feeling bored. It makes no sense at all in our modern society.

[ObscuredBeyond]

The courts get a cut of the take. That's why they disagree. Same thing with child support.

[bamesjond0069]

@ObscuredBeyond yeah child support makes no sense. Children typically do not cost more than max 200 per month. Im a grown man and i eat like 100 of food per month buy one 20 clothing item and have a 30 a month health insurance. I don't know what else kids need thats so expensive. If a parent can't afford a kid with that kind of assistance they are an unfit parent, the other one should have custody.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@bamesjond0069: Courts get a cut of the take. Therefore, they don't care that the mom spends only $75 for the kid's $100 worth of food needs, then saves up the other $425 to get yet another dumbass tatoo of Tinkerbell around her left boob and stockpile cartons of Marlboros.

Feminist-tards also insist that these bad moms are still better for kids than living with their dad, somehow... because reee.

And I wonder how much of that child food money is spent on push-pops and other asinine distractions.

[Razor8]

Agree. Once the relationship is over no one should be paying their ex ( apart from child support)

[Anonymous]

I Think it’s understandable if the partner is sick or disabled. Otherwise, I think they have many opportunities to get money on their own.

[notwoke]

another bad idea borne by a politician looking to gain votes from 50% of the population. This is the same way we got women voting, another travesty

[Juxtapose]

Alimony is bs, child support takes care of the divorce.

[Anonymous]

It's not alimony, it's extortion. Women aren't happy unless men are paying them somehow.

[Asker]

Yeah at times women cheat and don't do anything bcz of their rich husbands , yet they get alimony.

[Subarugirl]

Actually @Shizunk made a fantastic point "When women marry and decide to take care of children, they are taking a risk. I believe they should choose good men and society should pressure men into not leaving instead of settling failure with payments, but if a woman sacrifices her career, she obviously should be given alimony, especially if the man is the one leaving, cheating or otherwise sabotaging the relationship.
I can't support the idea of breadwinners avoiding responsibility. Naturally if there are no children and both work, there should be no alimony. "

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl I don't disagree.. But it should never be permanent alimony.. Ever. I also believe if it's the woman who is leaving, and it's not for reasons of cheating, or abuse, she should be entitled to nothing.

I'm also a strong supporter of 50/50 shared custody with no child support, studies have shown that children living under that arrangement end up way better than a father being forced to be an every other weekend dad.

[Asker]

All you said is correct bt I feel society shouldn't force men to not to leave their wives bcz if someone isn't happy or is facing abuse they hv full right to leave

[noohair]

It is the law, if you don't like the law, try to change it.

[In_Trance]

no, that's not the reason for alimony. you better do some fact checking; it'll answer your questions

[Hangry06]

There're people who want stay at home spouses

[TonyMetal___86]

And i'm one of them, i'll never marry a girl who doesn't adores becoming a housewife

[Texaskid1]

Alimony = indentured servitude.