What steps did you take to recover from a devastating break up so you could feel like dating/happy again?

[Anonymous]

How long did it take you to recover?

[Finchie40]

Me personally just moves on and realizes my ex wasn’t the person for me , don’t get me wrong it does hurt losing someone you thought loved you the same way you loved them , but the reality of it is they didn’t , cuz if they truly loved you? they wouldn’t of walked away from you period , and vice versa. When a partner decides to walk away from you , you are best to focus on yourself and move on from them as soon as possible , and start dating whenever you feel ready to date again , there is no set time limit on that whatsoever , it’s your choice and your decision on what you choose to do , you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. After my ex and I separated , I ended up meeting another girl that was coming on to me , I told her the truth that I just got out of a relationship so I am not looking to rush into anything with someone else right away , but I have no problem taking things slow and getting to know each other. She understood and decided to continue dating me , things between us were really good and we enjoyed spending time together and getting to know each other , so we ended up kissing and having sex. Sex with her was amazing because she treated me like Gold , a lot better than my ex treated me. So before I knew it, my ex wasn’t even a thought anymore because this new girl rocked my world. Some people made comments as to why I moved on so fast , and I just said it just happened , she came onto me and she was beautiful to my eyes and I loved her personality. Me and this girl ended up dating and having a ton of amazing sex until her husband knocked on my door. That was the end of that lol Nothing happened with the husband , I just told him the truth that I didn’t know she was married and I told him everything that happened with her and I , I did kind of feel bad for the guy but I was more hurt that she played me like that for as long as she did. After he left I immediately called her and had words with her , she cried to me and said she loves me and wants to be with me , and that she doesn’t love her husband anymore and then listened to her side of the story , I told her the only way I will continue seeing her is if she divorces her husband and he is out of the picture for good , She said ok , that was the last I heard from her , I found out her husband gave her a second chance and I was in complete shock that he did.

[Purpleronnie]

I've had quite a few relationships in my life , but only been broken up with twice thus far and I wouldn’t offer either of those up as devastating. When I've called it quits on a relationships I’ve exhausted all options or routes in attempting to make it work or they have broken what I few can’t be fixed.


I think we can likely all agree that being broke up with is more impactful on us and sure it’s loss and it hurts emotionally but that’s just feelings and they pass. My perspective generally is that “life is temporary and therefore so is everything in it “ so this too shall pass.


Those two times were because at that time I couldn’t or wouldn’t be the man / person they “wanted” or , “needed” so it had to end for “them”….. I “chose” to believe that’s on them , then moved on with my life. I don’t have to carry around emotional baggage about that , those are feelings , not fact !



Accepting that each other changes as we age , mature , changes imposed upon us etc means that the relationship also has to then change dynamically in support of that So when it can’t or won’t and there is no compromise or resolve then it’s broken.


I’ve found that perspective , what we choose to believe , separating feelings from fact etc , these are all key to “recovering” if you want to call it that

[IslaTheWitch]

I took good care of myself, I ate properly, even if I wasn't hungry, I spent time with my friends even if I didn't feel for it, I was running regularly, attending my dance classes, watching movies with Drama Queen

I was crying as much as I needed, I was writing letters I burnt later... they were full of hatred in the beginning, changed to be full of hurt with time... and I forgave in the end

I learned my lesson by listing everything that I did and could have led to this situation, I won't make the same mistakes again

in the end... I'm back to myself, a bit wiser, happy about my life, and looking forward to the future :D

[AviatorTom]

When you fall off the horse, the best thing to do is to get back on it. When you have a breakup, best thing is to grieve for a short time, then move on and find someone new.

When my then-wife divorced me (it was amicable), I took a few months before I started dating. Thanks to online dating websites, I had some very nice dates and relationships over the next couple years, until I met my current wife.

[exitseven]

This is a great question. I think back on the worst break up I ever had. I was totally blindsided by this and was really falling in love with this girl. I remember as I drove away I was 5 or 6 miles down the road and I had to pull over and get out of my car and puke.

The next day the world seemed different somehow and I was not sure what I was going to do. I kept to myself, studied a lot and went to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. It was during that horrible winter that I decided I would try and run a marathon.

Every day things got imperceptibly better. It was over a year until I wanted to go out with anybody ever again.

[BadApple69]

I was devastated for at least a week. Lol


Life is too short to waste it on someone that doesn’t want to be with you.
After my breakups in the past I moved on quickly. Didn’t cry about, sit in the dark and scream “WHY?” Total waste of time. If she doesn’t want me or I don’t want her we are done… move on.


So how do I recover? I move on.

[Blunky]

Getting back into pre-relationship routines as well as building new ones helped me the most. Some things will always remind me of the relationship but over time, the memories affect me less and less to the point where they just become passing thoughts and I go on about my day.

[AaronKrieger]

To recover? It takes a month or two at most for you to not be depressed over it. That is what I have noticed for myself and others.

To move on? You never do in the sense you are connected to that part in some way. However, finding someone new you connect with after you have processed everything can help decrease that connection.

[Babygirl_S]

I was into dark-skinned guys until I found a handsome guy who told me he couldn’t marry me because of his different religion. He looked like my dream guy and made me feel special. After that, I took a long break and only fantasised about white men. I am back to liking darker men now. I guess my heart won’t be poached again.

[Hellraiser1984]

5 years. I hate them forever but I will never see them again. I don't care about them anymore and will not waste my life on them. It was horrible for the first year then it became easier. Not seeing them helped. They lied to me about being engaged to someone else and it hurt like hell. I tell myself f her it wasn't my fault. She lied to me.

[Zack-Bann]

Spiral into a destructive pattern of sex, smoking, drinking, and over eating
Hitting rock bottom


Quitting everything and hitting the gym


Getting back in shape both in mind and body

[Paige90]

It takes several months and sometime longer. The only thing that can heal the hurt is for enough time to pass.

[dudeinohio]

I took about a year from my breakup with my ex wife. Emotionally it took a little less time. The final divorce was a year.

I had moved, so I was in a different environment and adjusted my lifestyle as a single person.

[Anonymous]

For me it was becoming satisfied with being single. I came out of a very abusive marriage where I had no say or freedom whatsoever even to the point of not being allowed to drive. He didn't like me having friends. I'm very picky about who I date. I will never settle again.

[WhitneySnow]

I took some time off from dating to focus on school and my friends. It was several months before I was ready to date again.

[Nikki1989]

It never has to be devastating. Think of it as a new beginning. It is all about attitude, inner strength and confidence.

[LiamJHayden]

I've never had a devastating breakup and cannot imagine it ever happening. There are too many great women out there for me to get devastated over one who decided she wanted out.

[RedThread]

Honestly? It just takes time. I wish there was a magic formula to cure heartbreak but it doesn't exactly work like that. Just stay active and eventually the weight will lift off your shoulders.

[David_beckham]

I have taken many steps, like leaving the city we used to live in, deleting our photos, and unfollowing her on socials, but it hasn't worked a bit. I've now known her longer without us than I have with her.

[Anonymous]

Moving on never really happens but happy and getting back in the ring after the first it just sorted of happened but the second I hung up my gloves and retired

[jahaims]

You are in an unhealthy relationship if the relationship was the source of your happiness

[nawtee_me]

Forgiveness, without it happiness is just out of reach….

[foxsquirrell]

It wasn't any number of steps for me, it was time.

[Alexa6]

Serval months, to a year. A threesome with Ben and Jerry.

[Anonymous]

Only took one night having sex with another girl who was much better at it!

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can do other than deal with the pain

[MoonFace2]

I got trauma counselling.

[Jay-_-]

I met the gym now me and her are married😄

[masterSir]

I went on a 3 year sex bender.

[YN1F-1]

I got off the Percocets and Somas!

[MasterKS]

get someone for casual fun!

[Keyboardkat]

You mean someone you can use for a while and then dump? That stinks!

[grega239]

I didn't.