Have you ever unexpectedly experienced strong feelings about someone you had a relationship with years ago?

[RingOfFire]

When I was 18 I moved to the other side of the country to go to college there.

Shortly after that I met a girl who had come from another part of the country to attend the same college.

It's about as close to love at first sight that I ever came, and she later told me she felt the same. We dated and fell in love and were together for about 6 years.

She was the only girl I ever considered marrying and we talked about it during our time together many times.

On holidays and breaks she came to stay at my parents' home or I went to stay at her parents' home. It seemed up until near the end that we were meant to be.

But at the end we realized there were some things that just weren't likely to work out and we went our separate ways.

I never spoke to her again. She ended up staying in the same state that we met and getting married about 10 years after we broke up. I traveled a lot and moved to other parts of the country in the years since.

Since the Internet age began I looked her up a few times and was happy to see that she was married and from what I could determine seemed to be happy.

I didn't get married, but had my share of long-term serious relationships during the years since we broke up.

Fast forward to about 45 years later.

Just a few months ago I looked her up again as I have every few years. I found a picture of her, but it wasn't what I had hoped. It was on her obituary. She died a couple of years ago at the age of 67.

What's more, there was a comment on her obituary from a man who said he dated her during the summer of 1979, the summer that we had an argument and split for good. He said that he asked her to marry him that summer, but she told him she was in love with someone else and hoping he would come back to her. He said he was heartbroken that she wouldn't marry him and never forgot about it to this day.

I never knew about any of that until I just read it on her obituary 46 years after it happened. It hurt.

[DJB72]

There's one girl I dated when I was a teenager who I've never seen again but I'm sure I'd drop everything to help her if she suddenly needed my help.

We were only an item for a month but we met at primary school. I don't regret the breakup - it helped make me who I am today, and I'm ok with that, I just would like to track her down and chat. It's been 35 years...

So if she's on the app and remembers watching Top Gun with a guy whose heart rate doubled when she put her head on his chest and taught him to play "Risk" when she was about 15, feel free to DM me!

[RingOfFire]

Beautiful story!

[RavVid]

Hmmh. That would hurt. In more than one way I would think. Doubtless you have feelings of what might have been and probably questioning if what caused the break up was really that big a deal.

Sorry for your loss - it always seems such an inadequate thing to say, but sympathy is all we can give.

[RingOfFire]

Thank you, appreciate that. If I had known she felt that way, I probably would have jumped on the first plane to see her and been with her to the end.

[RavVid]

Yes I can see that. Yours is a fairly tragic scenario. Mostly somebody gets ill and it is a slow irrevocable decline. Very different if it is sudden and unexpected. They go to work and die in a car accident.

In this case you didn't know till it was too late. Quite tragic and I do feel for you.

[MikkiM]

That's a sad story. I wished it was different but that's her story. How about you, what's your love story.

[RingOfFire]

Thank you for your comment. I never got married, never felt those same feelings again that I felt for her. Your first real love is and unforgettable experience.

[exitseven]

that is one amazing story. I have tried really hard to put all my old relationships in the past. Every once in a while I might go by some place that I used to go with somebody I dated and it will make me think about them.

[WonderingManII]

I'm sorry that happened to you. That's hard.

[RingOfFire]

Thank you. Yes it almost sounds like something from a movie.

My heart skipped a couple of beats when I read it.

[WonderingManII]

I can relate. Cause someone was in my life. At first I didn't want to be friends with her. She won me over. Then hurt me a few times. Left for months, and came back and the really hurt me.. I read something she wrote, and found out that she had been seeing another guy and that relationship fell through. I still feel that strong attraction to her, but I do my best not to look her up, cause I know it will just make me sick.

[RingOfFire]

Smart. Sometimes it's better not to look back. Sorry that happened to you I guess we all have had our share of being hurt.

I had girlfriends in high school but this was my first real love. And I guess your first real love is one of the hardest to forget.

Had I known she was thinking that I probably would have ended up marrying her.

We live and learn and sometimes it hurts.

[serious]

No. I have always been single so nothing like this has ever happened and nor it will.

[Staximus]

Don't let it torture you. Did she ever say she didn't want you to leave, or did she say that the relationship wasn't going to work?

[Staximus]

If she never communicated her feelings then how the hell were you supposed to know? Women expect us to be psychic

[Anonymous]

I never had a relationship, but I have experienced strong feelings about someone I liked (love at first sight).

[Luopio27]

Love leaves marks and takes unexpexted turns. Sorry for your loss!


As far as caring goes, I've been rejected a thousand times and never stopped missing them!