Did I make the wrong decision after a 2 year relationship break up… even though I thought I’d be fine but ended up crying uncontrollably?

[Anonymous]

Before I made my decision it seemed really clear and what I wanted, but while we were talking it out and me telling him that I want a break, it was the hardest thing in the world for me. I was crying uncontrollably and I didn’t think I would do that—I honestly thought the breakup wouldn’t affect me. I hold myself to be strong and not show too much emotion, but I couldn’t control it. Now I’m questioning everything. Is it a sign that I messed up or made the wrong choice?
Has anyone been through something similar or have advice?

[Finchie40]

It depends on what the reason for the break up was for? Did you break up because your ex wasn’t seeing eye to eye with you, or did you break up because you didn’t want to be committed to them anymore and you felt like you are missing out on things? Most relationships end because one partner is selfish and only really thinking about themselves , they do not factor in their partners’ feelings , it’s just what they want and what they expect to receive without really giving back in return. So if you are crying because you feel like you made a selfish decision, that’s probably why you are crying over your decision. For any relationship to work and survive , both partners’ have to choose each other no matter what , to a certain extent , if there is a problem in the relationship , it’s best to try to fix what is broken , instead of just walking away and thinking you are right and your partner is wrong , Why it’s best to put yourself in your partners’ shoes before making decisions, Do gain trust and respect , you have to give trust and respect in return , if not? The relationship will crumble because it’s one sided. Again I don’t know the reason you broke up with him , but that’s usually what kills relationships, Being selfish and only thinking of yourself and never pointing at yourself before pointing fingers at your partner first. So try to learn to remove selfishness and your chances of having a longer lasting relationship with someone will increase big time , especially if they do the same for you as well.

[ohsheeT]

Ok first of all you have a reason for doing what your doing. What every it was it was strong enough for you to make that choice

And it's OK to allow your self to feel things this is what teaches us the things we need to know... it's not what happen that teaches us. Becausevwhatcever it was you already learnt that before that's why you could make the choice you did. In life you set your own rules Your own boundaries, if they are on because that's just who you will not allow certain things to happen to you against you or be treated in certain ways and you have to stick. To that. Becayse that's what's goingbto get you what your looking for. If you don't stick to it it's goingbto take you longer and down other paths you don't need to be on listen to your energy trust in it it's there for you

[Nikki1989]

It's completely normal for the reality of a breakup, even one you initiated or thought you wanted, to hit you hard at the moment. There's a big difference between thinking about something and actually doing it. Time heals, you will be OK. Meet someone else.

[WhitneySnow]

Wanting a break isn’t a full break up. Maybe talk to them if you miss them that much.

[OneViewpoint]

It sounds like you don't know what you want and didn't think this through before you launched into the drama for some reason. If you knew yourself and had thought this through then decided to pull the trigger there wouldn't have been this massive emotional outburst. You would have come to terms with it beforehand.

I have no idea if you made the right choice. I do know that if it were me on the other side, it would be over, done, no going back after witnessing your choice and your reaction. I'd think you were emotionally unstable. I'd feel like I dodged a bullet.

[Cormac995]

I recomend you back track this and try to fix things before it's too late. It sounds like you still love them to me from this and the reality is relationships aren't easy and sometimes nobody can piss you off or hurt you more than the people you love BUT if you love someone the right answer isn't to give up. It's to address the issue and find a middle ground and compromise. In a relationship there will always be ups and downs, boring times and fun bad times and good that's why when we get married, we say, "To love and to hold in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live." This wouldn't hurt so much if he wasn't still important to you I recommend you two talk, like really talk, lay your souls bare to each other maybe even look into couples counseling. love isn't easy but it's worth it and you'll never find love if you run from every problem instead of trying to fix them.

[Miristheiss]

Crying? That is an EMOTION. It is real and it is understandable but big decisions like this should have more logic, wisdom and rational behind them.

The emotional basics. We find them attractive. You like them. You like being around them. That is just the starting point.

If they are a long term match? That is rational stuff. Do you have the same values and life goals? Do you have the same standards and goals on getting married? Having children? Religion? How to handle money? Sexual Values? Plans for the future? Is your value system the same?

That is how you decide if they are a fit. If your core values align you should have a green light. If your values and goals for the future and expectation on big things don't line up then you know you aren't a long term fit.

Why did you break up?

[Shiprex]

The emotion came because it's a loss you experience as you talk and think about it so it's going to be strong and since you made the decision it's now experiencing the effect of that decision.

Was it the RIGHT decision? Only you can decide, just because you were emotional when deciding it and feel some shame associated with that, it doesn't make it wrong to have decided that. If you miss them so much, that you want to be with them a lot them maybe YES otherwise the pain and sadness will dissipate with time.

[hellno]

Yep, been there. Just because it hurts doesn’t mean it was wrong. I cried my eyes out too, even when I knew the relationship wasn’t right for me anymore. Love doesn’t disappear overnight, and breaking up isn’t supposed to feel good. Don’t confuse pain with regret sometimes heartbreak is just part of healing and growing.

[angels]

My dear, crying doesn't mean your decision is wrong, it just shows how difficult something you did was. You loved it, you got used to it, is it easy? Being strong doesn't mean being emotionless. I've experienced this too. Everything becomes clearer with time. Even if you're undecided right now, these feelings are normal. Show yourself some compassion.

[beams]

It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed after a breakup, even if you thought it was the right choice. You can’t control emotions in the heat of the moment, and crying doesn’t necessarily mean you made a mistake. You’re questioning things because you care, but don’t let that uncertainty keep you stuck in a decision that you’ve already made. You’ll figure it out.

[Jove79]

You gave little information. Didn’t give a reason for the break up. Without knowing why you broke up here’s my take:

Since you feel so bad because of the breakup, sounds like you broke up just to be single.. he didn’t do anything wrong.. because if he did, you wouldn’t be so emotional.


Kick him to the curb, so he can find someone who knows what they want. Your mind is in shambles, you are not ready

[Crankor]

It's residual feelings that you dwell on that are messing with your logic vs emotional scale. No one can tell you if it was the right or wrong choice but I imagine there was a reason for your initial decision so emotions aside, is it something that aligns with how you want to live your life?

[serious]

Well, no I never went through anything like this. I have always been single. However, yes I do understand what you are saying. I hope you are fine though.

[Anonymous]

Depends on why you broke up with him. If it was over something small and he was a genuinely good person who treated you well, then, yes...

Dating now is a joke. If you managed to find one of the good ones, keep them because you might not find another person who's worth being with.

[strateguy632]

It wasn't wrong, you cried due to the ending which was natural. Good cry and were right to end it , as you had decided.

[slatyb]

Crying is normal You've lost an imagined future. It's not a sign that you messed up. You are mourning the loss of something you hoped for.

[MannMitAntworten]

Whenever I end things with a lady it has felt like a weight lifted. Does any part of your decision make you feel like you can breathe?

[bddddd]

Maybe you stuffed up. It's hard to know without more information. But yes that is a possibility.

[bddddd]

It is hard to go back. You have shown the guy that you are willing to walk. A lot of what makes relationships work is the irrational belief it will last for ever. So you will never have that again. Ever.. Still, if you love him, you can build something new.

[Heusus]

Dont cry, calm down, dont panic

[MasterKS]

Take it easy... time to get a new friend.