What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[chickkkienugggies]

When I met my ex, we clicked right away, same birthday, lots in common, and easy conversation. I met his family and everything felt natural and strong between us.
Not long after, he lost someone very close to him (due to a sui*ide), and it shook him deeply. They had plans to go back to school, so the loss left him feeling completely lost. He stopped coming to work, but we stayed together and grew even closer. Eventually I left the job for school, but our bond stayed strong.
Later on, he experienced another loss—a family friend. at first he seemed okay, but gradually, he started doubting himself. He said he felt like a bad boyfriend for not doing enough—no dates, no flowers, no money—and that he was dragging me down. I reminded him those things didn’t matter to me. Just being together, talking, gaming, and having deep conversations was more than enough. He was figuring out his next steps and applying to jobs, and I was proud of him for trying.
But after a while, his responses grew shorter, and he became more distant. Eventually, he asked if we could just be friends. It hurt, but i understood, I was in his shoes before. Grief can make love feel like too much to carry. I asked if this was a breakup or just a break, and he said:
“i’m not sure, but if i keep this up i might end up being self-destructive. toward myself and this relationship. you’re a good girl, and asking to be friends feels selfish and shameful because i know how much you care about me.”
I told him I appreciated his honesty, and that i didn’t see it as selfish. I asked if there was someone else, and he said no—just sadness. He’s been coping the best he can.

I’m still just… unsure. I care about him deeply. We’re still close and still talk, but things aren’t the same, and it’s hard not knowing if this is something temporary or if I need to start letting go. I don’t want to overwhelm him or cling too tightly, but I also don’t want to pull away when he might still need someone who understands.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a really rough situation your ex is going through. Losing someone close like that, especially in such a tragic way, can totally mess you up. I can't even imagine how devastating that must feel. And then having to deal with another loss on top of that? That's just brutal, man.

I get why your ex is feeling so lost and unsure about everything. Grief can do a number on you, making it hard to even function, let alone maintain a relationship. The way he's trying to be honest with you and protect you from getting dragged down with him, that shows a lot of maturity and care. Even though it hurts, I think he's doing the right thing by being upfront about needing some space.

At the same time, I know it's gotta be so hard for you. You care about him a lot, and seeing him go through this must be heartbreaking. You want to be there for him, but you also have to take care of yourself. It's a delicate balance, trying to give him the space he needs while also letting him know you're still in his corner.

Maybe try reaching out every now and then, just to check in and let him know you're thinking of him. Don't smother him, but make it clear that you're available if he needs to talk or just have someone to game with or whatever. And don't forget to lean on your own support system too. This kind of situation can be draining, so make sure you're taking time for yourself as well.

I really hope your ex is able to work through this and find his way back to a better place. Grief is a beast, but with time and support, maybe he can start to heal. And who knows, maybe you two can figure things out once he's in a better headspace. Wishing you both all the best, love. Hang in there.

[Heusus]

I think id b drunk

[chickkkienugggies]

i legit busted out laughing, that’s so real 😭