What should I do in this situation? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

I’m an ambivert, i love my alone time and i love being around people that i like. But thing is, i’m starting to realize that there are moments where i feel like people are not interested of “keeping” me as their friend, which end up making me put in a hard work to at least “keeping” them as MINE and i will have to really maintain the friendship with me making the first move to catch up with them [through whatsapp & instagram posts comments/replies] so they don’t forget or leave me.

If i don’t do all the work like this, i know i won’t have friends and i can’t stand having no friends it stresses me out because i’d like a social stimulation every now and then PLUS i’m not an anti social, i find it easy to make friends, but keeping them as my friends are hard like i don’t know how to make them stick around. And FYI i’ve been doing this for years and finally it makes me... tired mentally and emotionally.

Even worse, now i’m finding myself pulling myself away from people that they’re starting to think/say that i’m ✌️stuck up✌️because i never make the first move to reach out to them through whatsapp/instagram like i used to. And all i can say in my mind when they told me that was just.. “It was always me who had to INITIATE shit or y’all will forgot all about me, don’t y’all ever think of that and how that makes me feel? Y’all never reach out to me, not even replied to my instagram stories to say the fking least”

So when i’m alone, i think to myself, why is it always me who have to chase them to make them stick around wit me like i’m some sort of a pathetic unwanted person? And when i stopped, they will act like i forgot all about them that they call me ✌️stuck up✌️and it makes me feel like shit that they pulled a word like that to me. And i know they are being serious about that. It sucks, but what can i do now, i just pull myself away so that i don’t feel like doing this all over again—

Continue in the update because this is too long

Updates

1 y

by the way it can’t be my personality though, not being narcissistic but i’m pretty much humble, easy-going, chill, my vibes not off, im funny and knows how to have fun, i’m not a downer.. i don’t tell sad and tragic stories of my life ever, i always have something fun in me/to say, i always appear all happy and laughing (im not faking it). I always look proper everytime i leave my house too, i dress well and i smell good. I’m healthy both inside/out.—

Updates

1 y

... Physically, i like to say that i’m 50/50, based on people’s comments about my physical appearance and i know we can’t rely on just THAT.

[bean2k21]

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health. Here are some suggestions that may help:

-Acknowledge your own feelings: It's okay to feel frustrated or hurt when you feel like you're the only one making an effort to maintain a friendship. Recognize your own feelings, and don't dismiss or invalidate them.
-Communicate your needs: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your friends about how you feel. Let them know that you value their friendship, but that you also need them to make an effort to maintain the friendship as well. Sometimes people don't realize how their behavior is impacting others, so by communicating your needs, you may be able to improve the situation.
-Seek out new connections: Consider joining a club or group that aligns with your interests and hobbies. This can be a great way to meet new people who share your interests, and you may find it easier to build lasting friendships with people who have common interests and values.
-Don't take it personally: It's important to remember that everyone has different priorities and responsibilities, and some people may not have the time or energy to-invest in a friendship. Try not to take it personally, and focus on the people who do make an effort to maintain a friendship with you.
-Practice self-care: It's important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Make sure you're getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Taking care of yourself can help you feel more confident and positive, and this can help improve your relationships with others.

Remember that friendships are a two-way street, and it's important for both parties to make an effort to maintain the relationship. If you find that your efforts are consistently not being reciprocated, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship and focus on building new connections that are more fulfilling and balanced.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice this is useful and opened my eyes from a different perspective 👏

[Guy13]

counseling...

[Asker]

Be fking for real 😂