My ex waited until he dumped me to tell me he had an issue with me why did he wait?

[Anonymous]

[ProbablyClueless]

People who do things like that tend to lack self awareness, and they tend to really not know how to handle conflict. There's usually some childhood bullshit going on where they've had their concerns dismissed in the past.

Conflict avoidance and freezing up are very serious problems in relationships. I've dated several women like that. As soon as the communication turns off, all you can do is run.

My guess is that this is probably some combination of him not really knowing what the problem is or how to describe it, him not being able to trust that you would respond to the criticism in a healthy way, and him recognizing that the problem is with him (as opposed to a problem with the relationship).

[Chazmatazz269]

You likely failed to create a safe space for him to express himself in your relationship.
A lot of women fail at that.

[Anonymous]

Like a warning or something? That’s usually reserved for if the person wants to stay together. If your ex made up in his mind that he either didn’t want to deal with your issues anymore or didn’t think they could be resolved then it is what it is.

[Asker]

Yes he told me something was bothering him with us but never voiced it and still isn’t telling me what it is

[EmmaMary]

Just how many times have you, or did you keep asking him?

[Asker]

He didn’t tell me until we broke up that something was bothering him i asked him what did i do and he didn’t say anything

[EmmaMary]

Sadly in this case, I would be saying Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish... Move on and start enjoying life again... Good luck. xxx

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm, maybe it was just something that he didn’t think was fixable. Do you think the issue was a big deal?

[Asker]

I don’t know he’s terrible at communicating so I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

Emma has a good point too, I’d just be done with someone like that.

[EmmaMary]

That's something you'll never know... So swiftly move on.

[RedInnocent69]

To give you (and himself) closure

[RedInnocent69]

@Dykei1989 not saying I agree. I’m telling you why he did/how he justified it from his perspective. Sorry this happened to you

[MasterKS]

He wants to hit you hard.

[In_Trance]

ask him why

[Anonymous]

To Tease