Are amicable divorces rare nowadays?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Today we had the appointment in tribunal to sign the separation agreements, which in 6 months will be finalized into divorce.

We came together with me driving, and since the whole thing was surprisingly quick (we were done in 15 minutes) we took a walk and had brunch and aperitifs together.

90% of the stuff is already settled, and we'll keep being business partners and running our business jointly, alongside coparenting. Honestly in my opinion this is the best outcome, everything is smooth fair and the split was simply recognizing the marriage had ran its course, without any fight or it turning it toxic.

I don't undestand why many people end up hating each other when divorcing, but perhaps I'm just an optimist - I like to say that when one door closes, two more open.

[Texasgal95]

I beat. I think you are the deciding factor if it’s amicable or not you would soon be former spouse you have that choice I think it’s just people get so caught up in the material things they make it more messier than it has to be. That’s just my opinion, but not from any experiencepersonally I mean I’ve seen friends and go through it but I think it also depends on why you’re divorcing why things seem to get messy sometimes like if one cheated you’re gonna be pissed and all this other stuff but in the end you too the two of you have that choice to make it amicable or not

[fonduegirl]

You're a good man. The one you're divorcing, I'm guessing she's a good woman as well. That really smoothens the process

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thank you for your kind words.
We have been best friends for 14 years, so we didn't want to destroy everything when we realized we were not working out.

[fonduegirl]

Some people seriously need your level of emotional maturity

[RavVid]

Let me say that I am sad your marriage has ended. I had formed an impression that it seemed one of the sounder ones.

I am glad that it has ended amicably however. Going back in time I think they were more bitter as it took quite a bit to lead to divorce. I think there might be more amicable divorces now. Sort of the inverse :)

Anyway hoping life goes well from here on for you.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Sadly there were some differences we couldn't find a common ground on, so we took the mutual decision to split while remaining good friends.

Thank you for your kind words, I am quite optimistic about the future.

[RavVid]

Glad to hear that you are optimistic.

[AviatorTom]

My divorce was amicable. My wife and I wrote our own divorce agreement together at her kitchen counter. She bought her own house when we separated a year earlier.

From talking with others, and listening to some of the arguments I heard from others when I went to court to finalize the divorce, I think an amicable divorce is rare.

[gigimiller]

That’s impressive. How did you two manage to keep it so amicable? Most people struggle with that.

[AviatorTom]

@gigimiller We'd been married for 20+ years, most of them pretty good, our kids were on their own, and she was looking for something different in her life, a career that she didn't have as a stay at home mom.

[OneViewpoint]

@Sun_Kim-Ai ,

Kudos to you and your ex wife for doing divorce the right way. I had more or less the same experience. I don't understand why so many people can't recognize the simple truth that turning it toxic and vengeful will only make your life worse, not better. If you truly want to move on to something better, don't leave someone behind you who you have fucked over and mistreated. Do the right thing. Be fair. And stop trying to punish someone. Instead, make sure they feel they have been treated fairly. It's the only choice that makes sense.

[DangerouslyCute]

where I live, a year-long separation was needed... so we did it... and on the first hearing, we presented a document with our settlement... the second hearing didn't happen... I got a mail confirming that we are divorced and that the court accepted our settlement

[alli-112]

I feel like it's more common actually, since there's less stigma and pressure around it. That said, I'd say it's not common in general just because in most cases it takes a lot for people to break what was intended to be lifelong vows. Most people probably end up feeling betrayed by some aspect fo the situation.

[Texasgal95]

That’s kind of what I was thinking of it and they end a couple has that choice to make it amicable or not but like you were saying a lot of times, the reason they become messy is because of the reasoning for the divorce

[MrChinaski]

My wife and I have agreed a settlement. We are separated, not divorced yet, but we are still good friends. Basically I paid out the kids' school fees (not cheap) and ceded a quarter of the value of the house. She manages living expenses for the kids, but they are 15 and 17. There was a fair bit of pain involved in reaching that, but we both agreed lawyering up would only hurt both of our financial interests. We are in an okay and stable place now.

[BonzoInBitburg]

Mine was amicable. No lawyers and it cost less than $400. But then she started asking me for money and volunteering me for things I didn't have time for. Communication ended when she found out I was dating.

[ItsJill]

You signed divorce papers and went to lunch together right after, that takes real maturity.
IMHO amicable divorces aren’t rare but they aren’t publicized as toxic explosive ones.

[Texasgal95]

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Tbh I’m not surprised you and your stbxw are so cool divorcing since you said your marriage was mostly business Marriage - business contract or love union?

It sounds like you both got what you wanted out of your partnership…

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Is that wrong?

[gigimiller]

Looking for that right person that I can share my entire self with. Somebody that is not afraid to be loved as well express love.. I seek for a Serious and Long term relationship, Someone I can spend the rest of my Life with. Well I will like to tell u that am a Sensitive WoMan, Am Honest, Kind, Caring, and Truthfull, I seek for a true and Serious relationship that will last forever

[NathanDavis]

most of the divorces I heard or know about are "just fine"

the couple of bad ones... are really bad though

[jamesgoldman]

Apparently so, the judge made that comment during my parents divorce a decade ago

[DrPepper12]

Yes. Asking narcissists to stuff their ego temporarily or even for kids sake is a tough ask

[BeechImFabulous]

Maybe not rare, but social media have definitely inspired more people to be vindictive and go scorched earth in their divorces.

[strateguy632]

Because people divorce due to fights so the fight continued. Anicable is very rare.

[Sal_Monella]

Most divorces are filed by women.

Men view divorce as an attack.

Women view divorce as a lottery. An opportunity to get revenge for their bad choices and to loot a mans hard work.

[Nikki1989]

Many are.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I believe so.