Married for year and a half and am questioning it…?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been together 3 years and married for a year and a half. We used to be so deeply in love. He says he loves me, but I don’t know if I can say the same about him anymore. He has put us in bad financial shape, which my parents had to help get us out of. We are now living with them because we cannot afford rent anywhere. We both work, and he is starting school in the fall. I’ve been questioning our marriage for awhile now but am trying to wait until he is done with school in a couple years to make a final decision. I’ve mentioned counseling to him, but he turns it away. He can be very disrespectful too but then tells me I’m the disrespectful one. I’ve been considering divorce but have a feeling it will go really bad if I tell him. Does anyone have any advice in this situation?

[Anonymous]

lol so the minute life hits, a bad situation rises, you’re ready to run? Shouldn’t have gotten married to begin w. You’re not mature enough to be married. Maybe I’m wrong here but I thought the ceremony included something like, “for better or worse…” You make yourself seem as though you’ve done nothing wrong, likes it’s e to rely on him. Chances are counseling is going to be about everything he did wrong according to you. Grow up. You’re just as much at fault for this as he is.

[OlderAndWiser]

Follow your heart INTO a relationship but follow your head OUT OF a relationship.

Wait until he graduates in a few years? Why? Are you happy with your marriage now, or do you just want to waste a few more years?

[Asker]

You make a great point. I guess I just feel guilty about wanting to leave.

[slatyb]

You need not feel guilty. He's making no effort for you.

[ChicoFromThe305]

So first let's make a list of everything that makes you feel this way, once you have that list, with the vow you've made to stay forever til death does y'all apart when y'all got married... in mind, start calculating to see if these things are worth separation and if they are worth losing your love over, because I believe these things make things harder and more of a bumpy ride but unless he's treated you bad or you don't feel loved back I don't know if these are things that can cause you to lose your love for someone, perhaps the spark died out far before these issues surfaced, the issues maybe just made it worse, or you never truly loved the person, now losing respect is different but seems like there's lots of thinking to do

[slatyb]

Do not wait. You don't owe him your life. If it's not working and he refuses counseling, you'll have to make your own decision.

[BarryLiverstone]

What made you fall in love with him in the first place, when he proposed what was it about him that made you say yes?

[jahaims]

You are too stupid to handle marriage