I Don’t Know If I Like Being Married Anymore… Just Need to Vent and Hear Honest Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Lately, I’ve been feeling really off in my marriage. I don’t even know if I like being married anymore, and that’s hard to say. I feel like something shifted after our second child. I’ve been holding everything together kids, work, home, trying to still feel like myself but emotionally, I feel alone. I want to feel loved, desired, appreciated… but it’s like I have to ask for it, and that just makes it feel less genuine.

There have also been trust issues that cut deep. After our second baby, I found out my husband was looking up escorts some even in Panama, where my family is from. What hurt even more was the timing: I saw he was looking them up around the time my mom passed away in January 2024. Then in May, while I was pregnant, he took a solo trip down there. He said he didn’t do anything and was “just curious,” but that didn’t make the pain go away.

He told me looking up escorts made him feel nasty… but then he went on a dating website and looked up Panamanians. I keep asking myself why Panama? Is it just some fantasy to him now? It feels so twisted considering that’s where my family is from and where he learned about it through me.

I found messages between him and other women, and it was just about everyday life sending pictures and asking chatgpt to translate what they were saying and what he should say back. He also blamed it on my postpartum moods.

I’m not innocent either. In 2023, my boss messaged me in a flirty way on LinkedIn, and I played along. I didn’t shut it down. I think I was just craving attention. When my husband found the messages, he was hurt. But it showed we were both lost in our own ways.

I love him, but it’s frustrating how we can love each other and still not feel in love. Counseling feels exhausting and awkward. I’m just stuck.

Has anyone else felt this? Is this just a low season… or something deeper?

[ohsheeT]

It's probably all the above your at home all day working and the kids do you even have time for yourself and then he comes a goes.
I think you need fresh air do you even get a chance to talk to friends. Or your just kinda Isolated it seems like

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe see a therapist to talk about it or even go to couples therapy. But I;d worry about him cheating if he is looking up escorts. How is your sex life with him?

[jahaims]

You are both immature cheaters