Should I get over it?

[Lovergirlhey]

Last year i dated this guy, we were each-others first relationship. It was nice, although he was unable to communicate. He just really couldn’t but he still tried his best for me. A problem I had by myself was that his friends were a bad influence on him. So eight months pass by of mine and his relationship, it’s going good and decent like any relationship does. He then breaks up with me after I thought everything was just fine. He said it was because “I deserve better” and “we have nothing in common”. It left me heartbroken. A month passes by nothing happens, another month passes and this guy I was friends with said he liked me but i rejected him. Although we still had our friendship, the guy I dated and I got in contact again and he says he's sorry for pushing me away and says he actually was hurt seeing me with a other guy. then he pushes me away again. I give him a letter stating every single one of my feelings because I never got to explain them, and then he posts on his note “get away from me.” I get away even if I was unsure if it was about me but I felt like it was. A gut feeling, so we don’t talk at all for about three months. He texts me again asking “why are you everywhere i go?” But we just litterly have the same exact routes at school.. (for the longest time by the way..) So I just reply by saying I don’t notice him, even though it broke my whole heart. A week after that he follows me on social media and we become friends, its going good infact He tells me stuff that he wouldn’t tell his friends and we give each-other advice. Its going well, and then he gets a bit cold then and there. Then out of the blue he ghosts me. Two weeks after that this guy asks me out and I just accept it because he seemed nice then I got cheated on. I forgot about him so easily but I need advice, why do I feel like this towards my first love? It’s almost been a year and a half and I still can’t seem to be over it. Tips or advice please?🩷

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's a really tough situation you've been through. I can totally understand why you're still feeling so hung up on your first boyfriend, even after all this time. That kind of heartbreak is never easy to get over, especially when there's been so much back-and-forth and mixed signals.

It sounds like this guy has really put you through the wringer emotionally. The way he keeps pushing you away and then coming back is super confusing and messed up. I don't blame you for feeling so conflicted about the whole thing.

At the same time, it's probably not healthy for you to keep holding onto these feelings for someone who isn't treating you right. As hard as it is, you might need to try to move on for your own wellbeing.

My advice would be to try to focus on yourself and your own life right now. Don't beat yourself up for not being "over it" yet - healing from heartbreak takes time. But don't let this guy continue to string you along either. Set some boundaries, spend time with supportive friends, and do things that make you happy.

Eventually, the pain will start to fade, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. In the meantime, be patient with yourself. You've been through a lot, but you're strong and you'll get through this. Just take it one day at a time, and don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. You got this, love.

[Lovergirlhey]

Thank you so much.

[Nikki1989]

The most important thing you can do is to create a complete separation. This means blocking him on social media, deleting his number, and avoiding any contact with him. Every time he reaches out, it's like picking at a scab that's trying to heal.

Just move on.

[Lovergirlhey]

Thank you🩷