Would you accept a birthday gift from your ex?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

My ex wife sent me a couple of birthday gifts which I accepted and graciously thanked her for - a Filippo Marchesi Originale necktie (which I am keeping); and a deli package of Parma ham, Carpegna and six bottles of Colli Concori wine, which I won't eat or drink due to my diet but will give some of them to my girl friend's father to make a swell impression. I will keep some of the Parma and at least a couple of bottles for another woman I am trying to impress.

Updates

10 mo

Not sure why this question exploded now
I gave her a gift too, I have to keep amicable with her because we have children and I co-own her deli shop

[DeGoma]

I think it depends on the relationship you have with your ex. If it was totally amicable and you remain friends, then I don’t see why not. If it was not amicable and/ or you suspect there’s unresolved feelings on her side and you are wanting to move on, politely accept but maybe reinforce you are no longer together and gifts are not acceptable in the future.

If you are in a new realtisonhip it’s important to consider how your new partner feels about your relationship with your ex. I have a friend who is with an amicably divorced man, and they both frequently invite the ex wife over for dinner and have a nice friendship between the three of them. The ex now has a new partner and he’s also invited. I think it’s lovely, But this is not a usual circumstance I don’t think.

If your new partner has very little to do with your ex, she may feel unsettled by you accepting gifts from her.
It’s important to focus on your current relationship if you want that to go somewhere and not let your past interfere with the development of a new relationship

[itsannalee]

Nope, especially when i already have a new partner.

[AviatorTom]

Sure, why not. I might not eat food she gave me though. Who knows what she might have added to it. 😏

[Keyboardkat]

Many years ago, two weeks after being dumped right before New Year's, I received a birthday card from my ex. I couldn't understand it. And then six months later, after receiving my Master's, I received a graduation card from her. Again, I couldn't understand it. During the declining two months of our relationship, she drove me crazy with mixed messages. And now, after we had the talk, and it was clear that she was done, I went home to grieve and lick my wounds. And then this? My internal hard drive crashes when fed conflicting data!

One thing I think some girls do not understand: You cannot break someone's heart, and then expect them to be your "friend." The person you've broken does not WANT you as a friend. He wants back again what the two of you had before. If that is not possible, then the best thing you can do is stop "pulling off the scab" and just leave him alone so he has a chance to heal and move on. Doing this is unfair (giving him false hope, maybe intentionally?}, and makes no sense.

[Noredcarpet]

I would not, draw the line, but thinking if you have kids and they are too young to fix it themselves I would help out, but the gift would be from them. Seeing on the uppdate you are business partners as well it is from that point of view customary to buy something. But to buy a gift for an ex and ex alone, from that perspective, I would not. Your relationship as a romantic partner is dead and gone, but you have different roles existing from that time and thriving so looking at these other roles at play from those perspective I would then give a gift from a coworker perspective making clear on it is from that perspective, the same goes from a co parent view help the kids out as much as I can but make clear the gift is from them. I think if you got these different roles clear, the boundaries clear, there should be no confusion or wrong about it, but if you present the question with should you give your ex gifts it opens up to questions like is it because you want a second go at the relstionship, what confusing, symbolic gester could this take on not only the receiver but those around? Are you for instance from one guy to the next stepping over lets say your ex's new partner boundaries, space? How would your own partner feel about it? Such things.

[Hardon-Collider]

Accepting a gift from an ex is a breach of etiquette. It's a breach of the social order. You must refuse it politely. Doing otherwise is not socially gracious; it's a formality that makes everyone uncomfortable. The point of social life is to preserve a harmonious space, not to exploit it for your own gain.

[Nikki1989]

I don't like receiving gifts from anyone for any reason.

[Flowersareawsome22]

We don't celebrate birthdays, It's just like any day.

[exitseven]

Right Lke that would ever happen. I probably would soak it in a bucket of water before I opened it.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

If it cash sure take me and the hubs out to eat

[HighValue]

No. Any contact with an ex is unacceptable. It is also disloyal to a current partner.

[Anonymous]

You claim it’s amicable but you are so petty passive aggressive when you talk about her

what’s the real story?

[Anonymous]

I don't have an ex, but I would (hypothetically).

[Agape93]

Depends on the ex

[queenofcardio]

Sure , I'll take it

[WhitneySnow]

Sure. I would graciously accept it.

[Kelly6]

@Sun_Kim-Ai yes.

[DrPepper12]

Of course.