Was I wrong for breaking up with him?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my boyfriend recently and not sure if I made the right decision.

i ended my relationship despite us not being together the longest because I was so unhappy. I was his first girlfriend.

he was not perfect but was giving it a good go before we got together but as soon as we got together he started going downhill. He wasn’t responsive. He would say he would come to see me and then call me at 10pm even though I had waited all day to make his way. He’d cancel on me even though I told him I felt like he didn’t want to be around me and was pushing me away. He wouldn’t really compliment me. It would be rare and when he did he’d say I look good or nice. I told him and he said he did tell me I smell nice but maybe I don’t like the wording. He said he loved me but was holding back because he was scared. I was his first girlfriend. I cried to him and told him how hurt I was and he said he’d make it up to me but kept letting me down over and over then saying the same thing. He said he loved me and I think he did I don't know if I did it prematurely or if I made the right decision. I called him and asked him if we should go therapy because he would apologise then do the same thing at the end of the convo. Then he would start saying things like I can’t do anything right which felt manipulative. He was so cold then I asked him to go therapy and agreed but then said BYE and hung up. That’s when I broke up via text. Obviously he wasn’t all bad but I just wanted second opinions

Updates

9 mo

I don’t want to make him sound all bad. He would drive a really long way to see me (an hour there an hour back) he got me flowers when he asked me out and said he wanted me to be the mother of his kids. We would speak on the phone regularly and go running together every week. It’s just that as soon as we got together he just switched up. I was really happy in the beginning

[slatyb]

You were 100% right to break up with him. He was making no effort.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response

[ArrowheadSW]

You were unhappy with the relationship and it was causing you a lot of anxiety. You did the right thing. I'd say just move on.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response

[Anonymous]

If you were unhappy you made the right decision. Period.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response

[ohsheeT]

If you think back in life about everyvthingbyou have been through. How many times do you say i wish I would had listen because I new this was going to happen. Of something happens and your down and out. But after you so tired of beating your self up start living again and there a big positive from it when you do something, you do it for a reason. Whether you know it or not we know what we know before we know it but we never listen
You bored, you want something to do your lonely. And so you think if you go back , that's going to make that all better , but in reality , it's just going to be the same thing over but worse , so first thing you do

Did you acknowledge it knowledge that you broke up? Accept it. What'd you do that? You will start being motivated again and you won't be so lonely if you're lonely. Get online, talk to somebody everybody. We're all looking for somebody to talk to,

When things like this happen, other things start happening too, but you have to accept it first.
Like you said, what he said was a manipulation.
When you feel that that's what it is when it's your gut feeling that's what it is really listen to is Birds because he already knows the outcome of Everything we all do? We never listen to ourselves. We think we know better or we're going to save somebody or you feel bad.

No, you are not wrong. You didn't for a reason. Clear your mind. It will all come back to you or go back with him. You will all come back to you. The reason why all this happened is because it's time to change paths. Learn from this. Learn everything you can because it's gonna come back around and you need to know what you're doing. And not be not confident, be confident in the things that you do. Life is a lot easier a lot. Better , because you know the path that you're going to go down

[Asker]

Thank you !

[ohsheeT]

Thank you for showing all of us happiness and strength

[AviatorTom]

Always trust your instincts. If you thought it was a good idea to break up and move on, it was a good idea.

You're young, plenty of time ahead of you... to find the right guy for you. Best wishes!

[Asker]

Thank you

[IndustrialEnthusiast]

This dude is too insecure. Allow me to share a non biased lens with you.

Reciprocal energy is key in a relationship. If he struggles with his own stuff and can not share what he he is thinking, no gesture like flowers or driving will suffice. He is hurting you. His problems will stifle the union and you made the right call for distance. You both need to be in a place where the metal state is safe between you and communication is can be had without judgement and reasoned appropriately. Boundaries are essential. Listen to what is said with patience and understanding and empathy. However, the balance is not to accept anything said that is damaging or potentially toxic. Do not compromise your well-being for the fear of loneliness or desperation. Try to work it out. In this particular case, you can't. Not because you are unable, but because he is in a state that requires him to work on himself and get to a place of stability. Should he contact you again, have your boundaries and needs ready to go before talking.

You made the right choice and if he comes back and agrees and follows through with what you need, then work from there. Not everyday will be rainbows and unicorn piss. That is the work and resilience of a strong relationship; to overcome those days.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[IndustrialEnthusiast]

Anytime. You seem like a sweet person. My intent is not to attack your partner, but rather point out (from my view, based on the information provided) that the dude you like is struggling. If I were there, I'd sit him down and have heart to heart. Believe you me, I had my fair share of relationships that ended in tragedy because boundaries and communication were non existent. I'm sorry things are tough right now and you and this man deserve to be happy together. Give it a little time. It's Monday morning and I hope your week is blessed. Be well and take care. I'll be here if you need anything else.

[blackeagle007]

Sounds like you made the right call. I wouldn’t wanna be with someone who doesn’t put in effort. Life is too short to be in an unhappy situation

[Asker]

Thank you!

[noohair]

If you feel it was right to break up, then you did the right thing, you were the only one who lived it every day. Good Luck...

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Did you tell him how he switched up or did you just tell us?

[Asker]

I told him of course. He wasn’t getting it

[Nikki1989]

You did the right thing.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response

[Anonymous]

If you are passive aggressive you will never be with anyone. Period

[Asker]

I wasn’t. I told him everything each time

[Pterodon]

It wasn’t meant to be

[Asker]

Thank you !

[AdamMad]

How old is he?

[Asker]

27 years old

[yotaman99]

Do what makes you happy

[In_Trance]

Nope

[Asker]

Thanks for the update

[Asker]

Response *

[Mayorofbobaville]

Nope you good

[Asker]

Thank you !