What was the moment when it finally clicked for you that you and your ex weren't good for each other romantically?

Question

It finally clicked for me that I deserve better. He wasn't a bad person but just didn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated and even after many months of trying my hardest to get back together, I didn't see that he was just stringing me along kind of without probably realizing it or maybe he was. But now I don't have anymore feelings romantically for him when I asked him a simple question. I won't say what it was but it was enough to make me realize that he is never going to see me that way again and I need to move on.

I'll still be his friend but seeing him again will probably be out of the question.

He ruined any feeling of hope with one answer.

sawno · Accepted Answer

My last ex was great for me, the only thing she needs from me is better health faster but had that been solved we'd have worked perfectly. So I can't say that really clicked because we were so good for each other and I think we could make it work in better circumstances. The love is still there mutually and if she hits me up when i'm single i'd be open to trying again.

The last girl I dated it was very quick, she was very shy but I gave her a chance. When I noticed that she was incapable of holding a conversation not because of her shyness but because she had nothing interesting to add I got bored quick. At first I figured there would be a potentially great girl underneath but it really didn't get much further than the level i'd expect of an 18 year old. That made the mental difference to big for me and it made talking to her a chore as I had to carry every single conversation in hopes of her revealing more depth. And its not like I didn't try to get depth out of her, I tried hard. But she'd either shy up or just never thought about those things.

So basically the moment I realized what I was missing was a part of her she didn't have rather than a part that was hidden was the moment I knew it wouldn't work. She's a great girl for a guy who just wants an easy girlfriend who is very passionate, but she's not a good girl for a guy like me who loves spending hours with a partner talking about whatever deep subject comes to mind and spending some quality time that way.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

First ex was extremely toxic and strange in every way. I knew for a while it wasn't going to workout, but because she was my first I really wanted to make it work. I won't go into details because there's too many.

Second was almost ideal to me, except she was extremely liberal, pro alphabet brigade, and at the end of our 3 year relationship, she said she was also into girls.

Third was complicated. She was unhealthy, which limited her physical capability and put me under a lot of stress and she her friends were too involved in the relationship. Even though I was willing to stay with her despite all of that and made no mention otherwise, she still ended the relationship, but honestly I was relieved. Heartbroken in the moment, but genuinely relieved.

And my fourth and last ex... well she just didn't communicate much and always seemed down. It made me feel like I wasn't a good partner and wasn't enough for her. It also frustrated me that she wouldn't just say what was on her mind. And again... she was a bit too strong on the whole "I'm a strong independent woman and I don't need any help from a man."

So that's where I'm at now. Figured out what I need to 100% out my foot down on. My standards have only went up as I've experienced past relationships.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I believe that this what had to happen between the two of you so you could finally move on and find your happiness elsewhere.
Sometimes it might take us a while to put it to bed finally because we hold on to hope. Then something or some things will happen, and before you know it, you just don't feel the same towards him and realize that you deserve someone better to treat you good, be attentive and to love you in a way that gives you the warm fuzzies.
So, this is good news today. I think you have pressed on long enough and realized that you were beating a dead horse.
I'm excited to hear more about the new guy in your life. 🤞🏼

Bitter_Sweet94 · Accepted Answer

It clicked when the relationship started feeling heavier than it should.

When I realized I was explaining the same needs over and over, and nothing truly changed.

Love shouldn’t feel like you’re dragging someone toward the same page.

That was the moment I knew we weren’t good for each other anymore.

ohsheeT · Answer

I'm not even gonna answer your question. All I'm going to say is congratulations and I mean this in a very deep meaningful way. I don't mean anything from it

But as somebody to read your questions and your answers, I feel like I've gotten to know you through them and I believe that you deserve to be happy. That is for sure because you are a good person. I'm surprised many guys on here. Have not tried to pick up on you because I'm sure they feel the same way I do that. You have so much going for you and you had only one thing holding you back, and that was yourself. So that's what I mean by congratulations. I'm proud of you and I just hope you remember everything that you said because there's a real life waiting for you. I guarantee it.

Summeroflove · Answer

For sure one sided relationships are a pain in the ass you just realize you’re putting all the effort and labor into a relationship and in the end just having someone never be happy.

In other situations neither person is bad. They just aren’t compatible and wanting different things. If they’re mature they can make that decision to break it off so both people can find someone who fits their needs as well as wants. Even if it’s hard.

Finchie40 · Answer

When I realized she was a selfish person and a liar , that only really cared about herself

exitseven · Answer

I had a long distance relationship with somebody that lived 1500 miles away. This was before email or videochat. It was almost a 30 hour drive if you drove it straight and airline tickets were very expensive.

I flew out there and when she picked me up at the airport she was wearing a hoodie covered with plaster dust and dirt and her hair was combed over in some weird looking perm. She told me that she almost forgot I was coming.

At that instant I did not see her the same way,. When you are dating you are supposed to try to be your best. She never did that for me. I started to wonder what she would be like if we got married. I tried hard not to think of it but 4 months later I called her late one Saturday night and broke up with her.

LemonsAreLae · Answer

it almost always comes down to distance. Covid kept me from my girl abroad. and my childhood girlfriend was moving.

Bad timing, or maybe we were both to young to try and work it out somehow. im currently with a someone in another state. And she doesn't pressure me, or tell me how i need to be. we meet up on occasion hardly text each other. call sometimes.
we dont care about holidays or birthdays.

It just fits.

OneViewpoint · Answer

My wedding night and the honeymoon. I should have pulled the plug immediately. I no longer suffer from giving people the benefit of the doubt. I believe what they show me the first time.

Shiprex · Answer

It clicked when I forgot my phone at my house where I'd left her to go to work 2 hours earlier only to find her with her coworker pal about to do things to each other.

For the streets was my immediate instruction to them.

msc545 · Answer

When she got mad at me and called the police without telling me and when they arrived they arrested me because she lied to them. That's when it occurred to me that I had to get this woman out of my life.

Nikki1989 · Answer

We didn't have enough of the same interests to make it work long-term. We tried.

Anonymous · Answer

When she filed a false police report and had me arrested. The charges were dropped for insufficient evidence but my anger from the total disrespect still lingers.

katiesmuff · Answer

14 years and we are still very much in love and doing just fine.

beenherebefore · Answer

When he called me just to say he was with another woman.

Likes2drive · Answer

I guess when you feel like something just isn’t there but you can’t pinpoint it or you try to imagine what it would be like to live with them

WonderingManII · Answer

When they started acting really really strange.

ABC1x1x · Answer

Never. We are still right for eachother if I wasn't so stupid to get married when I did and to who I did.

aquamarine321 · Answer

I don’t believe no one is prefect for each other because no two persons is exactly alike

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No he definitely knew he was stringing you alone. Im just glad you see it now so you can get on with your life. You deserve better

Anonymous · Answer

You were never sure yourself. Seeing all those different people , emotionally cheating. U pushed them away too. Stop playing the victim

MannMitAntworten · Answer

The moment she sent a breakup text.

Anonymous · Answer

Never, considering I don't have an ex.

Ariesman81 · Answer

You're such a liar

What was the moment when it finally clicked for you that you and your ex weren't good for each other romantically?

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When did you realize after the break-up that you weren't the problem and your partner was manipulative as fuck, your break-up clairvoyance moment?

What was the moment when it finally clicked for you that you and your ex weren't good for each other romantically?

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When did you realize after the break-up that you weren't the problem and your partner was manipulative as fuck, your break-up clairvoyance moment?

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