Should this be a breakup?

Question

"Okay, so I’ve been with my boyfriend (26) for a year, and from the beginning, I told him I never wanted to have kids. He did, so I said then we are going to have to break up because it is not fair to either of us, and I wasn’t going to change my mind about it.

It’s been back and forth with the same topic for a while, and now he said that he loved me more than the idea of being a dad. (I tried to break up over it multiple times.) But now he was saying he was going to propose soon and that we should start looking at places but that since we are double income with no kids “for now,” and I told him again that if he wants kids, I am not the one, and to let me go. Should I just break up at this point? I feel like he is lying about not having any, and I am going to end up forced into motherhood? Help!"

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

I’ll never understand this notion of “trying” to break up, you don’t need his permission or agreement. Nobody wants to be dumped, but sometimes there’s no other choice and that’s the case here. Babies and marriage are two big milestones that no one should rob someone else of, so you’re making the right choice in breaking up. He’s probably thinking/hoping you’ll change your mind, especially if you were to get married. If that’s not what you want though, it just isn’t so you need to be done. Don’t put yourself into a situation where you wind up pregnant and feel stuck because you’re married.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

Hmmm seems like he's trying to trap you or is trying to tell you what you want to hear so he can later get what he wants. It also seems rushed that he suddenly wants to propose so badly. I would consider breaking things off before you get yourself in a situation you can no longer move on from.

Stevepro68 · Accepted Answer

This is a major issue and it cannot be resolved he absolutely wants kids and you at this point do not. Neither of you should be expected by the other to change. Even if someday you might. It is not negotiable and it needs to be resolved if he will not budge. Then it probably should end amicable