For those caught cheating, what did it feel like when the truth came out?

Question

Yesterday, I found out that I was the other woman.

Looking back, there were some red flags, but I trusted him. What he told me made sense at the time. He said he had already broken up with the mother of his child. Whenever I went to his apartment, she and their son were never there. There were no signs that a woman lived there—no clothes, no personal belongings. It looked like the apartment of a single man.

I went there several times, and he also stayed at my place often. I never saw him hiding messages or taking suspicious phone calls. It wasn’t until recently that more red flags started appearing, so I decided to look into things more carefully.

That’s when I discovered the truth.

I contacted his wife to tell her what had been happening. I didn’t do it out of revenge. I did it because I felt terrible once I realized I had been lied to, and I also felt awful for her and for their child.

After everything that happened, I realized that this man had been lying to both of us. In my opinion, he didn’t deserve either of us.

I’m genuinely curious about something from the perspective of someone who has cheated:

If you’ve ever been in a situation where your wife and your girlfriend ended up communicating with each other and the truth came out, what did that feel like? What was going through your mind?

browsingthroughthe · Accepted Answer

Probably it feels as tightening as - a particular sex act.
🕳️
*Need to adjust tie from neck from swallowing issues🧣*

Is it getting warm in here.

That's probably how it all feels. Thankfully - i don't cheat 😈

TonyMetal___1986 · Accepted Answer

Thank goodness that i have never cheated and will never cheat in my life!

Finchie40 · Answer

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you , unfortunately it’s happened to me plenty of times as well with cheating lying women , that told me they were single when really they weren’t , the one girl I was dating and having sex with for a good 6 months, that I loved being with , until her husband knocked on my door , the look on his face was something I will never forget , I told him the truth that I had no clue she was married , and told him pretty much everything about our relationship together, and that I never expected her to be married whatsoever, he told me he travels a lot for work , which made me realize how she played me for as long as she did , because I was at their house plenty of times having sex with her and the house was decorated like she was a single girl. So I did feel bad for the guy , and I put myself in his shoes thinking how i would feel if my wife did that to me in a marriage, The bottomline is that a lot of people are selfish , that only truly care about themselves , they do not consider their partners’ feelings whatsoever just themselves , why so many affairs and cheating occurs to the point I realized there is nothing that can put a stop to it , it happens all the time and has been happening for centuries , as to why I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ anymore , because a lot of people are selfish. So for me to fully give my heart to a girl ever again , it isn’t an easy thing for her to get fully , until trust and respect and loyalty is established between us , otherwise it won’t go any further that that , a relationship means nothing without those things whatsoever. So when she got busted , she was in tears when I called her and told her off about lying to me this whole time , she told me she loves me and doesn’t love her husband anymore , that she was in process of leaving him and that she didn’t want to lose me. She explained to me why she did it and I wanted to believe her but it was hard too , because I told her she should of just told me the truth and I probably would of understood better , I really did like this girl, so I was sad as well, so I told her to call me when her divorce is set in stone and then we can talk from there but for now do not call me until it’s over. She said she is going to divorce him immediately because she really wants to be with me. After a few days went by , she called me and said that her and her husband are working things out and that she is sorry. I was blown away that her husband took her back after what she did to him , but I told her I hope everything works out for them and never heard from her again or saw her again after that. So I am sure the guy you were seeing is kissing his wife’s ass and trying to work things out with her , and don’t be surprised if she takes him back whatsoever.

DishLady · Answer

Probably like a Shakespearean tragedy.

From what I’ve observed, they have no sense of right and wrong to begin with, so some won’t be able to answer “what did it feel like” bc they’re on the heartless/soulless side.

Kassandra1994 · Answer

No I was in love once decade ago I realized the guys were not the problem. I am just cursed 😪 Yes I have bad luck in love I realized for me it is best to remain single. I was engaged once left in the altar 😪 My ex fiance didn't even have the guts to say straight at my face he wrote a note long letter this took place in 2012 of October so a lot of memories from that relationship are Block In my memory I can't remember exactly. Yes til this day I cry I did loved that guy. So I just stay single. I remember sitting in a church the day after he broke the wedding of this song how great is our God I hate it it bring that 2012 vibe memory.

molonski2 · Answer

Been on both sides of the fence - long long ago..

Not Wife / mistress but G/F - girlfriend , the feeling of caught , it's just relief , and yeah that's out , thank God.

The problem he has , mainly is the young kid

When cheated on ( just like you ) you want to believe , then later you see all these things you should have picked up , and it's just a feeling.

" How was I that stupid " .

I have also , knowingly been " the other " with married women , but that was fine as I was well aware of the situation.

RavVid · Answer

I think you did the right thing in contacting his wife. There seems to be an ethic that you shouldn't on someone that is doing sexual/relationship misconduct.

I don't see why a cheater should get silence from others. So good you had the integrity to tell his wife.

I have never physically cheated but there have been couple of times when there has been some emotional cheating on my part. I felt pretty bad when it came out and there was a lot of trauma.

One of those times, my girlfriend got very competitive and gave me one of the stand out fucks of my life. Still have fond memories of that :).

Anonymous · Answer

Not proud to admit it but I cheated a lot between the ages of 16 and 22.

I was a piece of shit and there was no excuse but in my mind I thought I wanted a serious relationship when instead all I wanted was to fuck.

I cheated many many times till one day I cheated on the wrong girl and she literally tried to kill me with a knife because she was so upset. I wish I was joking. I had to call the police.

At the time I didn't really feel bad, only really felt bad because I was caught, but in the past few years I've been working on learning self-awareness.

These days I'm not exactly ashamed of all that cheating and don't necessarily regret it but I wouldn't ever do it again and I realize it was disgusting.

Mark_Est · Answer

Men dont cheat. Some boys and modern dudes / women cheat. And cheaters are scum.

I find it funny that you say that he doesn't deserve both of you though. Were you two virgin women? Traditional. To deserve traditional treatment? Most likely not. So clearly just low value modern people nonsense all around, as always.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Back in my cheating days, for a serious relationship I felt everything from guilt, to laughing stupidity about what an asshole I was.

For the girls, that I sort of played, back then I felt like they should have known the game better.

Today I feel like a piece of shit for it.

s0j7e3zyxc8v0 · Answer

How tf can someone cheat on a person they claim to love? Like, if he’s fallen out of love with me, he could just say, “I don’t feel the same anymore, I wanna break up.” Cheating is honestly such a horrible thing I really hope I never have to go through something like that But if I ever do I swear I’d be so pissed I’d wanna cheat on him with 5 guys 😭

Anonymous · Answer

I used to cheat all the time on my ex. She'd be hurt, angry, jealous but also horny. We'd f*ck after. A couple of times she caught me balls deep, and we ended up f*cking. One time in a girl I was cheating with's dormroom in front of her. Actually tried to leave her a few times because she got off on drama and didn't handle rejection well. The bigger bastard I was to her the more she wanted me.

Flower7 · Answer

What were the more recent red flags that topped you off? Maybe I can learn something from this.  (To answer your question, I’ve never cheated on anyone.)

ericJackson · Answer

When the truth comes out for someone caught cheating, the immediate experience is usually described as an intense, physical shock combined with severe psychological panic.

Anonymous · Answer

I felt liberated yet sad. Sooner or later it gets hard to keep the lies going, not because of guilt but because you’re bound to make a mistake. I felt sad because I knew that would mean I wouldn’t have access to my exe’s body anymore. Having an ongoing sexual relationship with 2 women at the same time sure is a hell of a drug.

fantasticass · Answer

35 years ago, I used to cheat on my partner all the time. I didn't care if I hurt anyone's feelings. I was a player, not a pickmesha

katiesmuff · Answer

Was not the greatest time as I was the one who walked in on my cheating boyfriend and caught them with no idea this was going on.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

For some it's a thrill for some it's replacing something that was missing. Not justifying, just guessing that's the cause

Staximus · Answer

A guy with a child with no children’s stuff in his apartment? He was either using his friends apartment or has an apartment to cheat on his wife

Pretendingtobesweet · Answer

Is he black guy? Maybe you should ask him his criminal record

Rickyboy100 · Answer

There is always a reason why this happens. In my case I was too small for her and so she found a Bull

WhitneySnow · Answer

What were the red flags?

Chelsea86 · Answer

I found it when her husband walked in on us.

Chayce · Answer

they probably didn't care to be honest.

Alexson_stormzy · Answer

Bitter and satisfying even if annoying

kaucky1 · Answer

If cheat cheat together morph into other people

Eiram5 · Answer

I was flat out caught redhanded.

robocop666 · Answer

normally when someone is caught their dead

For those caught cheating, what did it feel like when the truth came out?

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