Do memories of your ex's fade over time?

[Anonymous]

It's just been 3.5 months after my breakup and although I miss him like crazy, I find that the memories of our time together are not front and center in my mind anymore. In fact, unless I actively focus on them, it feels a bit like they are fading :(

Is that the same for guys? Does time make you forget the details of the good times together until it's just like 'oh yeah I celebrated last Christmas with her' but you can't really remember what you talked about or what you really did? I guess on my part, I'm just sad thinking about how my ex is probably forgetting us too ..

Updates

+1 y

I mean more like the details of the memories - like what it was that you guys talked about, the jokes that you had together, the times you spent cuddling etc.

[Anonymous]

My memories have definitely faded. Not gone away entirely, but sometimes I can't believe the relationship ever existed, that's how removed from it I am. I was passionately in love with my ex, but it was not a morally sound situation, and it ended. Now I'm with somebody I love very deeply, and I'm in a really happy place. I don't really think about my ex too much, but when I do, I get a sad feeling. However, I would never go back in a million years.

[Anonymous]

I left my ex a few months ago and I rarely think about him. Isn't that lovel? I mean the ability to forget. He hurt me terribly and thus forgetting him is a bliss. I don't care if he forgot me or not. What is important is that I am not with that monster anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

@ update: Yes, I know. They fade away.

[Greenjarhead]

How long did you stay with him

[Opinion Owner]

Almost two years.

[WeaponZero]

I don't understand by what you mean by memories fading. My memories do not fade, of anything, ever. Unless it's something that got repressed (and with good reason), I remember it all.

[Asker]

I just meant more like the specific details of the memories, e.g. the private jokes you two had together, the things you talked about, the time she spilled chocolate all over her shirt, the things you said when cuddling together. I know people always remember that they shared jokes and cuddled but I was just curious if guys remember the actual details

[WeaponZero]

They never fade for me, ever. I remember every detail of every moment of my life that was not repressed. I remember the names of every single patient we've seen at work in the five years I've been here. I remember every single detail of everything I was ever taught in school. And I remember everything every ex has ever said to me.

[WeaponZero]

I do not understand the concept of memories fading.

[TheRealAttila]

Yeah those memories get overwritten really easily by new people. It also helps that you can take a more objective look at things after they end, so the small details lose value.

[Asker]

even things like me being the first girl to spoon him instead of the other way around, me comforting him when his dad was sick? the details/memories actually lose value?

[TheRealAttila]

Well, yeah. I mean when I think back to the first girl I loved, I can remember and appreciate a lot of the broad concepts and experiences I had, but when it comes to the small things I used to be able to obsessively recall, they're just not there anymore and for the most part don't matter. I'm more focused on my future relationships, cause those are the ones that'll count.

[Greenjarhead]

Until you create new memories with someone else these memories may linger as things come up.