Should I text my ex for closure?

Question

So my boyfriend broke up with me randomly over a text. Things were going great...or so I thought. He didn't give me a reason or anything. Now that I'm getting over the hurt I really just want to know why...good or bad idea?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't really think that would be a good idea. He owes you an explanation & he's a a** for doing that, but it's not worth it. If you text, asking why, then that might seem like you still want him even though you know for a fact that you don't. And it might lead into argument or he won't answer your message. If you tell him that you're better off without him & stuff, that will make you seem...ehhh I don't know the word for it. It will be like you're rubbing it in his face, and he might not even care. If you really want to though, then go for it. But keep in mind that if you yell at him or anything like that, it might not make things any better.

Feefee · Accepted Answer

What a foolish coward he is, breaking up with you over a text. If you want closure, how about you meet him face to face and ask why he broke up with you. That way, you can see his facial expressions and stuff, which would tell you greater details of why he did what he did. If he looks indifferent, then he is probably the kind of guy that is immature (expected since he is probably under 18) and only wanted a girlfriend for the sake of bragging to his buddies that he can get a girl. If he shows some sort of remorse, then he probably did care about the relationship and has a good reason for breaking up.

haleyyyyy · Accepted Answer

i know how you feel

i've had this happen a few times

but it's best to just be the bigger person and just let it go

i know you're most likely curious to know what happened, or why he changed his mind, but I'd suggest just move past it. you don't want to sound like a whiny ex that can't get past it

manchesterlad · Accepted Answer

i voted leave it, but considering an experience I've pretty much just had, I don't know. me and a girl I was seeing sorta split up, I texts her and didn't have no luck, then I text her out the blue, and we've started spending time with each other again. so who knows. but my gut feelings is always to let it go

Socialiste · Accepted Answer

Well, if this is just a text, are you sure it was him? I think, if you can remain calm (I say that because if you yell or go crazy, that won't help you), call him, ask him directly if he wrote that and why. Text breakups are just awful.

CestLolaVie · Answer

Bad idea. Its good that you're in the process of getting over it, don't ruin it. It would do neither of you any good opening it up again and trust me you'll never get any closure from him, you will just hurt all over again. I'd say move on and let it go.

DiamondKutt · Answer

Don't text but call. Or if you see him in person, ask him then. A lot of people need closure to get over things. If you don't get that, you may get eventually get over it, but you may still be bothered by the fact that you still don't know why he broke up with you.

dunc17 · Answer

Don't ask for closure because if he does respond and tell you, it could hurt you more than you expected...esp if you aren't over him yet. Give both of you time and maybe a few months or so down the road, say hey. Just make sure you are completely done with him! Don't think that after a few weeks you're okay because trust me, you're prob not! So just talk to friends and move on.

andibrayemay · Answer

talking in person is usually more effective. if I were you, I'd skip the text, because he was lazy enough to hurt you that same way, and go face to face. tell him how you feel, so he knows you're serious. or, that's what I think would be good for you to do. :)

hakuna_matata · Answer

no no..bad idea... if he does not reply you are going to feel worse and stupid afterwards... just let it go... if he does not give you enough importance then just chuck him... he is just a common man... not a fairy angel sent from the sky... you will find many more.

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

I picked A. You should go for it. I honestly think, you will NEVER move on completely until you get the closure you need. At least from my experience. As long as he doesn't have a girlfriend, I wouldn't object to texting him. Because, then, texting him with a girlfriend could make him think or her or well...It is just open for more problems =) I wish you the best.

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southerngurl1124 · Answer

I think it is a bad idea. If you are in the process of getting over him, texting him would bring back many memories that are best left forgotten. I think it is just better to get over him and move on, especially since he did it randomly and over text.

Anonymous · Answer

If it was right after the break up, I'd say go for it but since you've waited this long... not wise. it's best if you just delete his number and forget about it, I get really curious about these things too but there isn't any point in bothering yourself about it. now if down the road he texts you, which is common for a guy who does a break up like this, I would ask him why and once he told me, I'd say "ok bye!"

coolbreeze · Answer

I think you should text him to get some closure because I think he owes you a valid reason for breaking up with you. Breaking up with text is the easy way and most shallow way to break up with somebody. I say do it.

OneLessLonelyGirl · Answer

Really bad idea...

1.he may not reply..you'll feel awful.

2.it can bring up many memories, and it'll be harder to get over him afterwards.

3. and if he broke up with you over a text you should just get over him and move on..he is not worth it..

justanotherguy00001 · Answer

It depends if you're ready to hear it. If you are really ready to hear it, once he tells you, you should be able to go, "ok." With that being the end of it.

If you're not ready to hear it, no matter what he says, you'll just hear what you want.

flower77 · Answer

Hes made you feel worthless so make him feel the same by not contacting him again and let him feel sh*t. He might have only done if for attention. Move on and show him what he's missing.

kaseylo · Answer

That is what's happening to me right now. It's hard to move on when you don't have closure and I know how you feel 100%. I just got done crying a few hours ago because of it. It's best if you move on. Don't take such a big step and expect to improve just like that- instead take a small step day by day and you'll be progessed in no time! It's easier said than done but in the end, you do what's best for you.

l-hedoniste · Answer

Closure is a myth. Even if he knows what went wrong, even if you're still on speaking terms, even if he'll tell you the truth, still, it fixes nothing.

wonderwoman23 · Answer

Bad idea...I'm 22 and back in may my ex did the same... Broke up via text and no reason stated as to why. I've asked him still don't know. I've gotten the hint that if he wanted me to know he would have stated the reason.  Same applies to you. So just let go of him and move on.

Hitch · Answer

It is impossible to get closure to a relationship that was clearly never open in the first place I have more advice if interested

Anonymous · Answer

Well, honey, most probably he won't give you the closure you want. He broke up with you over text and just walked away. This is a douchey attitude and douches won't give you a closure. I'd say be happy that you got rid of him and just move on.

Arwens-Fire · Answer

Just let it go. That's really tacky that he did it over a text message anyway.Find someone more deserving of your time.

AllDay · Answer

He's under 18 don't worry about it  in the scheme of things you won't even remember t . Keep your pride and do your own thing.

Boogaloo · Answer

The best revenge is good living. Go & enjoy yourself

JonnyBG · Answer

He owes you that much, I'd go for it.

star709 · Answer

you should, so you will be able to let go.

Should I text my ex for closure?

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