Cheaters - How do they feel after they break someone's heart?

[verbatim]

Say they cheated on you and left you for someone else after years of a supposed loving relationship.

Do they go through any stages of guilt or regret? Do they go through life as if nothing has happened?

Has anyone ever been the cheater and done something like this? if so how has your life turned out? (Not here to judge anyone, just looking for insights)

[Anonymous]

I've been with my child's father for four years now and it has been a roller coaster. He's cheated on me with several women. He even cheated on me when I was pregnant and conceived a child with another woman and stayed with her And the baby for a year. I know he felt extreme guilt and was confused about what the right thing to do was after the babies were born. His relationship with the other woman eventually died and I took him back and tried to forgive him, but deep inside I longed to get back at him. That was almost 2 years ago and just recently I had the chance to cheat on him and I took it. I felt a little guilty until I told him and it was evident I totally crushed him. So now the guilt is eating me alive and I'm confused as to why I feel this way after everything he's done to me. I think it depends on how serious the relationship and situation is to tell if the cheater feels guilty or not.

[enlightened]

well, I cheated on my ex boyfriend. I felt bad in the beginning but soon I stopped feeling guilty and thanked my lucky stars that I decided to stay with the guy I was cheating on him with (my bf). this happened because my ex reacted like a psycho. he started asking everyone to stop talking to me. he started planting outrageous stories about me...tried to harm my friends too, who had nothing to do with what happened b/w us! he did everything that you can dream of. everyone lost any sympathy they had for him and I even had a few people come to me to tell me how happy they were for me that he was gone. may be if he had handled the situation like a gentleman I would have still been regretting what I did.

[doobey1234]

Wow. You go off like a big slut and expect him to act like a gentleman? Honestly. use your brain. Id be acting the same way.

[Ichron]

So you cheat on a guy, he reacts negatively, and that gives you the justification that it was a good idea to cheat on him? You sound like a real catch.

[dave32xxx]

you thanked your lucky stars?

[honeyltsme]

1) I am not judging you. What happened has happened, and both of you learned different lessons. And best of luck and happiness in your new relationship.

2) Given the lessons you've learned I have a couple of questions:

- If your new boyfriend cheats on you, would you take it harder or easier now given your prior experience (due to previous guilt OR because you accept trading up in principle)?

- If you cheat on him and want to come back to him, wold he take it easier because of how you got 2gether?

[enlightened]

@doobey1234: is this your best retort. calling me a slut...ooooo burn! lol. you all are so predictable. if its a girl call her a slut...if its a guy called him a bastard. and you think you have achieved something.

@ichron: every person is responsible for his own actions. if a man reacts negatively then he has this negativity inside him. I am not responsible for his lying and acting like a douche. I am responsibble for what I do..he is responsible for what he does...no1 can force someone to do evil

[enlightened]

@munya: yes I do thank my stars. you would agree with me if you went to the same college and saw what a guy he was. trust me on that! in our 4th semester the guys in his hostel had started a "liberation movement"against him (jokingly of course) . so you can imagine

[enlightened]

@honeyitsme: I have been with my present boyfriend for 7 years now.i don't think he will cheat. but even if he does I will feel very bad of course. it won't be easier because there is a lot of trust involved

no, I don't think he will take me back if I cheat now. 7 years ago we were young,fresh out of school. I dated my ex for like 4-5 months. then the cheating happened.plus my present boyfriend was not the one who was cheated on.he was the new guy!also we have a mature relationship now.we don't think about past now

[Anonymous]

I have never cheated or been cheated on...lol it seem like the women on here cheat more but I think the guys just won't come forward :P

I would never cheat I would end the relationship before I did. I would do my best to try and not let myself become emotionally attached to someone so it would not turn into something physical. You can also emotionally cheat people don't understand that. If I was cheated on I would end the relationship because I know it would never be the same and I don't want to be in a relationship where I am unhappy.

[jayy143]

Well I cheated on my current gf with my ex. Both of them didn't know I was cheating on them at the same time. I cheated on both of them for 2 years straight! I felt really guilty because I wasn't in live with my current gf and I stayed with shed because she was crazy about me and I felt guilty. My ex foundout and she left me I know I left her so much pain and I feel like Shit because I loved her and well it breaks my heart knowing I messed up big time. And I'm still with my gf but I'm planing on ending things because I'm just not happy and she deserves better. Right now I feel sooo broken this has been my worst mistake ever, all I have to do is go through the pain I deserve and learn from my mistakes:(

[honeyltsme]

I would not cheat.

If cheated on, I would normally break-up. This is the default outcome unless there are STRONG external reasons to stay together namely (a) young children or (b) non-trivial financial considerations such as losing control of a company as a result of a split share allocation due to divorce proceedings.

By cheating I mean sex in any form. Kissing, heavy flirting, etc. would be pretty sh*t, but it's not sex so it's not full-on cheating, so what I do would depend on circumstances.

[Blobb]

Depends how they feel about the other person.

If they feel nothing for the other person and haven't an ounce of consideration, after they cheat, they won't feel regret.

If they feel spiteful or angry against the person they're cheating on, they'll probably feel good for cheating on them.

And if they have some consideration, love, affection whatever it is for their partner, after they cheat, they will feel regret.

[Anonymous]

My first and last time : My boyfriend walked in on me and this guy kissing, I felt really bad. I seriously wanted him to break up with me because I f'd up. I have been cheated on before so I know how it feels so I don't understand why I kissed that guy..(we had been together for about a year) He forgave me and today 4 years later, we are married and are expecting our first baby in December.

[prophecy]

obviously your husband and future father of your child has no self-respect.

[honeyltsme]

Congrats on your baby.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks honeyItsme. prophecy : Obviously people learn from their mistakes, I have never even thought about getting with another man since that happened. It was stupid, he forgave me and I worked on my issues.

[normalice]

i don't like hurting people, so even if I didn't like the person I was with, I would feel bad for them if they found out I was cheating on them.

But, I would also feel bad for myself if I did like the person I was with - losing out on a great relationship because my inability to cover up secret sex.

[Anonymous]

I found out my last ex was abusing prescription pills, and in order to pay for them, she was prostituting. That's still cheating. I still feel the pain from it even now. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have guilt or regret because she's doing anything to get her fix, and that includes selling her body.

[brownchic]

wow thas crazy

[doobey1234]

Ive been cheated on. And its the worst thing ever. I spent many nights up awake at night wondering what the hell I did to deserve that. See, the sad thing is, I still love her, and always will.

[Anonymous]

i cheated on my ex and I felt so bad and I was such a coward I decied to break up with him but for both of us because I wasn't happy and he wasn't happy either but yeah I feel really bad and I would never cheat again the guilt is really painful

[doobey1234]

The funny thing is, you actually deserve to have that guilt.

[Anonymous]

idk I have been cheated on by my ex..i loved him like crazy he was seeing some other girl right when left for vaca he went out with her and broke up with me...he has been tryin to contact me I never ever msgd him after that day. NEVER

[loveBrowneyes]

no i did not and i can't and i won't if i want someone else i'd just go for that one and tell the other that i like an other one and i don't want to be with now just to avoide cheating thing!

[asianfreak]

some feel nothing if they're indifferent, others who are smart regret it later on and wouldn't want to do it ever again.

[Yeahhbro]

If its someone they care bad, but if I they don't, then probably won't care.

[josesmaf]

I imagine they feel bad at least that they had to cheat on you to "find their true love."

[Anonymous]

Most guys don't admit that they;ve cheated to avoid hurting the other persons feelings

[Anonymous]

Looks like the women of GAG do all the cheating.

[brownchic]

not true