Will boot camp make him change?

[JapanTomboy]

My ex boyfriend of a year broke up with me out of the blue and said he felt my insecurity pushed him away. I've been through therapy for over a month to deal with it and he gave up after 7 days because he was so stressed out about the marines. He said yesterday he "loved me so much it hurt". Its because he wanted to be together but is forcing himself not to because he feels I'll drag him down and thinks I'll be clingy because an ex friend put these ideas in his head. He said he just wants to focus on the marines and doesn't want any girlfriend/not interested in dating anyone so he "flipped a switch in his brain to stop loving me overnight". I find that hard to believe because the night before he broke up with me, he had said " I found a place we can afford, and we can move in, in a few months. We both need to start growing up and be more mature. Were going to raise a family, we can't be stupid or act like 16yr olds. I'm struggling with my two jobs and you need one." Then the next day he just became the complete opposite.

His recruiter and some military friends say in boot camp he'll change and realize he did wrong, and he'll miss me and want to take me back because we were always happy and understanding towards each other, and because he described me as "the one". Do you feel this is true?

[sexyasianboi26]

I was in the Marine corps and let me tell you, the marine basic training is one of the most HARDEST training the united states government can give you.

Will it change him? Definitely. Especially if he is sent to 3d battalion. Because 3d battalion makes machines out of men.

"1st battalion makes men, 2nd battalion makes marines, 3d battalion makes machines"

My partner who was a very religious Muslim went with me to bootcamp. When we graduated, his views on women and sex changed, he became the player type.

And trust me, the drill instructors will enforce the idea of being single in the first 8 years as a marine. Why? The drill instructors care for the recruits and new marines, they don't want them to mess up their future by making babies at the age of 18 or marrying at the age of 20.

[JapanTomboy]

That's strange because my older brother who was in the marines before he died said he was always taught that those around you/care about you were the most important things in the world. Without those you love, you don't have the determination to keep fighting. And he said when he went through bootcamp he realized just how important his exgirlfriend was to him and they ended up becoming engaged. He had said the same thing would happen with me especially since my ex had gotten an engagement ring.

[sexyasianboi26]

Sounds like he graduated from 1st battalion

[artfullyliving]

people have limits

l;eave him to his own thoughts

[boomshakalaka]

Boot Camp won't change him .. being away from you is what's going to change him

[JapanTomboy]

You really think so?

[boomshakalaka]

It really depends on him.. He joined the military he will move a lot and will meet a lot of individuals.. Don't get your hopes up.. Try to move on if possible. I'm a soldier myself and I've seen people get attracted to one another regardless if they have someone waiting for them at home.

[JapanTomboy]

Yeah, my brother said the same when he visited from being stationed in Iraq a while ago. But my ex is the kind of guy who would be honest. If he felt unattached he'd say it, and if he liked someone else h would say so.

[boomshakalaka]

Then don't wait for that moment when he say "I'm attracted to another girl". It's gonna be hard moving on but it's better if you do now vs later

[JapanTomboy]

Well I don't know...I'm not sure how to explain it but when he loves someone he wouldn't look at a other girl...especially with me. Like, he was dedicated to our relationship and had actually bought an engagement ring. Ugh how do I say it! He was in love with me for a long time, he's the kind of guy who wants a life with one girl and I was that girl until he suddenly decided he didn't want a girlfriend anymore because we broke up.

[boomshakalaka]

I understand.. that's the way YOU see him, people change trust me. Not everybody is going to be in the same place where you left them. According to your story you guys aren't together anymore. That's a good sign that you should move on and get on with your life. Trust me on this one. Move on now or regret sh*t later your choice

[JapanTomboy]

True, but people don't change in 15hrs...