I'm pregnant, unexpectedly, and my boyfriend refuses to tell his family.

[chiclet2486]

My boyfriend and I had been dating for about two months when we found out I was pregnant. Our relationship moved pretty quickly even prior to this: I moved in after only a month and he told me he loved me after about two weeks. Anyway, he had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship when we met and he and his ex have a 16 month old together. He is still very close with her family and I find this irritating, but have let it take a back seat given the circumstances. Sort of a side note. Anyhow, we agreed he would tell his family and ex when I became 12 weeks pregnant. I am now 20 weeks pregnant and he still hasn't said anything to his ex or family and now family is starting to suspect. We fight about it constantly. He says he is so ashamed of himself for having two illegitimate children by two different women, which I have tried to be understanding of. I have also explained to him that I need the support of his family through this and by them not knowing I feel like I am hiding something and it makes me feel and act guilty around them. This is all starting to make me crazy now and I am getting carried away in my thoughts. I am now wondering if he is hesitant to tell his ex because he still wants to be with her, or if it's because he is afraid of hurting her? Or because he is afraid she will try to take their kid away from him? And I cannot figure out for the life of me why he just won't tell his family. I know this pregnancy isn't just about me, that it affects him too but it would make our relationship and mine with his family so much better if he would just tell them. I'm at my wits end and am on the verge of leaving. Any advice?

[Alexfyne]

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[Stacyzee]

If anything he should be upset with himself.

He needs to stand back and re-evaluate his life.

He needs to commit to a woman instead of spreading his seed everywhere.

He is afraid to tell his family because he knows he isn't ready to make that type of commitment to you, and he knows how his family will look down on him.

If you were a woman he could see himself marrying he wouldn't feel so ashamed of himself.

He would tell the secret.

He has to tell the secret...

Before the secret tells itself because you are becoming more obviously pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of what else is going on, how do you think it'd go over to be like, "Oh hey, family, you know that girl I started talking about a couple months ago? Yeah I knocked her up...hope that's ok...Pass the chicken, please."

[chiclet2486]

Probably better than his family finding out because I'm visibly showing, I would imagine. They have to find out some how.

[parkway]

You are the other woman and feeling the pain of the other woman syndrome. You never said a thing about marriage so being poor is your only option. You knew he had a child, why would you date him or get pregnant?

He has got to explain to his family how he found another woman with no morals and she got pregnant.

He has to explain to his family he is dumb. You are not going to be welcome by the family and may have little support, he had a woman for 7 years and you dropped panties and ruined it. You are pushing him back to the ex.

I run across beautiful women with a child or two and have to step aside. What good man wants another man in his life?

You will need more than a prayer.

[chiclet2486]

He has asked me to marry him, I have declined. I am not sure how being pregnant equates to not having morals? Or why I would rule out dating a person just because they have a child? He and his ex had been broken up for a few months, I didn't ruin anything. Was it maybe too quick for him to persue another relationship? Definiately. Am I maybe a little naive for agreeing to be with a guy who just got about of a 7 year relationship? Absolutely.

[InquisitiveMale]

This situation does not bode well for you. A guy hides something for one of only two reasons. He's is ether ashamed of his relationship and outcome with you, or he is afraid that the opinion of someone who matters more to him will be ashamed.

[chiclet2486]

I agree, we recently argued over that. I told him that I feel like he is ashamed of me and that's why he doesn't want to tell his family. He still hasn't said anything so that's probably a legitimate statement. He has expressed to me on numerous occasions that he is afraid of disappointing people.. obviously more concerned with everyone elses opinion than mine. I have given him the option the option to walk away and I won't expect anything of him if it's that big of a deal to him, but he won't.

[oOoMissBlissoOo]

He's ashamed of the situation.

No offense, but it doesn't sound like you were the ideal situation and/or female he wanted to have a child with otherwise he would have no hesitation in telling people regaurdless of the fact that he already has a baby by another female. This whole situation makes him look very bad as a man. I think he realizes that and that's why he's so hesitant to tell people because he values their view of him and thinks this situation could alter how they view him.

[Quacken]

It's probably because he has 2 children with 2 different mothers within 2 years. It doesn't look too good for him. He is probably scared of what they will do/say

[oOoMissBlissoOo]

yeah, no offense, but that looks very disgraceful.

[Anonymous]

He'll tell them like one your child is about 2 , he doesn't want to tell them now beacuse he doesn't want to lose his other family , and don't think about this too much just live your life it's not healthy to be mad once your pregnant , and I know I'm a pharmacists

[Opinion Owner]

When*

[Opinion Owner]

Stuiped iPhone changes words by its self

[Anonymous]

Well no offense, but it's kind of embarassing and it makes him look like a horny, irresponsible little immature boy who can't keep it in his pants. He may still want to be with his ex and feel like he ruined his chances by getting you pregnant.

[artfullyliving]

sounds like a lot of trouble

you have a flighty man there

[Anonymous]

He should man up and take responsibility, anyways does he think they'll never find out or something...