Why do guys replace you so fast and easily, even when they were in love with you?

[Anonymous]

I was with a guy who was madly in love with me. He cooked for me, picked me up from everywhere, wanted to spend every day and night with me, introduced me to his family...

One day he called me and confessed to me that he told a random girl from his college about a secret that I told him and that he promised me to keep for himself.

We both cried on the phone together... but I felt betrayed and said I have to be alone from now on. I was very hurt.

On Campus he tried to avoid me and seemed very sad.

After a few weeks his attitude towards me suddenly changed. He came up to me and told me about other girls he met, that he goes out partying all the time, etc.

Every time he stands close to me and my friends he talks twice as loud so I can hear how much fun he had, how many girls he met and so on and so on. He met a girl that is and looks similar to me!

I never provoked him and I never tried to make him jealous. I thought if we take some time apart and calm down, we could be back together one day. No man has ever showed me his soft and emotional side before and maybe he hates me because of this.

But why does he want to hurt me more? Why? I never did anything bad to him. I ignore his aggressive behavior but I'm hurt.

[SnoopyFrankoe]

Hello there. I can understand how this may make you feel. You explained it pretty clearly, and I'll make you feel better about it.

I promise you, the only reason he's being this way is because he's unable to express his feelings any other way. It has nothing to do with you. It's all of his personal emotions going wild and he has no idea how to control them. What he is doing is normal for someone who has gone through a break up, especially if no one has explained anything different to him. Consider him on "Auto-Pilot".

If you were able to see his sensitive side,( very rare for a guy to show) then you should be able to understand it's nothing but him hurting over the break up.

Now if it is bothering you, maybe you can find a time and place, and let him know just that. Not with attitude or anything, just straight up tell him how it makes you feel. You don't wanna engage in some sorta competition with him because for one, you don't want anyone new; so it would be a waste of time and energy. And two; It wouldn't solve anything, and potentially cause more problems.

Remember this sweet heart, none of us were given the bluebook to relationships. And majority of us weren't taught anything at all about them and how to get over them. So most of the thing that go on before, during, and after, is bound to happen anyway, and it's never a good or bad thing, it's a living, and learning thing.

Trust me, he's not over you, and HE may think , but he hasn't moved on either. They call what he's doing, "rebounding". By the way you explain everything, I wouldn't be surprised if he were paying girls to hang around him, to make sure you see it. And him being loud in front of you is another way of him saying he's hurt, he doesn't want to be apart from you... I know it may not look, or feel that way, but trust me, it is.

I hope this helps, and if you have any other questions, feel free to ask. Be safe and remember to always Love " You " First... one Love

[standUP]

From what you wrote I seriously doubt he is trying to hurt you at all. I would say exact opposite. He is hurt because of the break-up. Otherwise he wouldn't try to make his situation known and by him looking happy and seeming to move on is a way of getting you to desire him again.

Seems to be working,lol.

I commend him for telling you what he did. Although it must have been very hurtful to break-up.

Anyway Guys do not move on faster than girls. It is just rebounding to not feel the extreme loss and pain of being rejected or not wanted by someone he cared so deeply for. So while on the outside he is looking like he's having fun and needing his new adventures, deep down he just burying the loss of you.

If you want him back prove to him that you are desiring him and want his love that you deserve from him. This puts you in a vulnerable position to get hurt and humiliated once more, But IS HIS LOVE WORTH IT?

[babybubs21]

This has happened to me. When I was with my ex, we wouldn't even be broken up for a day before he would join a dating website and hang out with other girls. It ended up tearing our relationship apart because even though we were broken up... It still felt like he was cheating.

We have been done for six months and in this time he has dated two girls with long dark hair, who have a young daughter. I too, have long dark hair and a daughter. I have constantly tried to figure why he does this, but it eventually occurred to me that, it doesn't matter. Unfortunately, this screams to me how many issues he does have and I'm probably better off in the long run.

At the end of the day, I want to be with someone who wants to be with ME because I am someone who is set apart from the rest... Not someone who can be replaced instantly with some new girl who looks like me... I'd rather not date a robot.

[dragonfly6516]

Yeah he's mad at you and hurt by you leaving him and so he's trying to hurt you to feel better. Whatever this secret was he probably slipped and didn't mean to tell and he was trying to do the right thing by telling you. He probably didn't expect you to react the way you did and he probably feels betrayed too. But it sounds likes he pretty immature still.

[Asker]

you are right. He was very mad at me and told me that he told me his fear was that I would leave him and I did. and that's why he is so mad at me. I did not understand back then, because I felt betrayed by what he's done to me. I understand now that he wanted to do the right thing by telling me the truth... and I left him. I just wished he would have given me some time to think it through... because I dumped him in the heat of the moment. I was crying, he was. I was in shock.

[idkitsausername]

Alright well... If you said you need to be alone from now on, yeah he thinks you dumped him. So he puts you down to feel good about it. If he is the kina guy who goes out partying allnight and hangs out with lots of girls at once-that's not the kina guy you wana chase. But if you do... Start being nice to him (in little ways at first) and once that starts working start flirting with him a little and then BAMB back together:)

(Because he actully wants to be with you but will never admit it)

[kheserthorpe]

Men move on with their d*** first and let the emotions catch up later.

[Dragonpurple]

If he was truly in love with you, he may be in pain and replacing you helps him to move on.

I know its not real, but it keeps his mind off things. If he is hurting you intentionally he is either trying to rub salt in the wounds for whatever reason he see's as being logical or he wants you to fight for him.

[Anonymous]

Stop with the victim mentality.

[Anonymous]

Probably he's just hurt and she's a rebound