Should I say Merry Christmas to my ex?

[Anonymous]

We haven't talked in almost a year. We still had feelings for each other last time we talked, but I didn't want a relationship... well I did but I am dealing with stressful times, I still am, I love him and want to be with him... but I can't, at least for now... see this is what I hate... I feel like I'm leading him on, or that by saying merry Christmas he will think I'm interested again...I don't want to make him think that, but I'd hate to loose all contact with him... maybe I'm just being selfish... maybe I should leave him alone if I can't make up my mind? I don't want to play with his hear. I have already done that enough to him in the past...

I miss him so much and I just want to talk to him...

If you think It would be OK to send this how should I say it?

should I mention I miss him? or would that make it seem like I like him?

I would like to add something to my message(sending it over Facebook) but I don't know what... oh also I don't know if he has a girlfriend or not...

Any help is greatly appreciated! Happy Holidays guys.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

I don't want to play with his heart*

[hamid818]

Okay my friend,do you know what is interesting about life?Its has its own stories,sometimes some stories can start with simple "hey" and can get Finnish with hurt,breaking heart..Sometimes things doesn't go the way we want to,sometimes we think our story with someone has been finished while its not that,the world we are living in it,has full of this things,people that lived before us,had this and the people that will live after us will have same Conditions too,saying hi to him can start story ,or it can continue the story that you guys started before you for some reason cannot be with him,but you do love him and you so bad want talk to him,talking to him is what makes you happy and make you feeling comfortable,in my idea you should send him Emil and asking him how he is doing, but don't let him to get hope on you,and don't say like "I miss you " this can be in his mind like this " hey I wanna be with you " don't start something you are not ready for it,and know there can be something that you have not expect for,

no one knows future,I think just say simple hi and see what's future bring to you,

[ryanontario]

life goes on , I don't think its necessary for you to say much if anything to him , if you haven't talked in over a year why the need to send an email around the holidays ? I don't see the need to be honest I'd just let it be . I definity won't be sending emails on Facebook to any of my ex's at this time of year

[Asker]

o OK so you think the holidays is a bad time? I think maybe I will just get back in contact at a better time in my life, when I can handle a relationship if he was still interested... Basically I just want to talk to him because I'm really lonely this holiday... but that a selfish reason and I wouldn't want to mess with his head.

[sweetsteel15]

Just say Merry Christmas and nothing else. If he starts talking about a relationship or whatever, just tell him right there that you do not want a relationship, don't make up an excuse and don't tell him you still have feelings for him because that is what makes it harder for someone to move on. If he doesn't say anything about dating or relationships, then don't bring it up. Don't flirt with him, don't say you miss him, just be friendly (not flirty). Don't say you want to be with him or anything like that, if you do, then that would be leading him on.

[innocentface]

If you really love and miss him so much..Why don't you get into a relationship again?

"May you get what you want in this Christmas. Merry Christmas"

this has a lot of meaning inside it.

You don't need to say you miss him as your sending him a wish is a proof that you do miss.

[Asker]

um well I will just be honest, I can't date him because, I am unemployed, overweight, severely depressed, somedays I'm on the verge of going into a mental hospital, I don't want to come back into his life like that... I should probably just stay out of his life, but It kills me not to have any contact, we had some great times. If I text him he will probably want to see me.. and also get back with him... he never seems to understand my depression/craziness, I think he thinks I just use it as an e

[Asker]

xcuse or something.. idk.. but that was the problem last time I made contact, he wanted to get right back together, but he doesn't understand what I go through in my head... I always end up ignoring him and isolating myself... that's how our relationship ended in the first place..

edit:

If I text him he will probably want to see me.. and also get back with me*

[innocentface]

Well dear,if so is the case.then pretend. Pretend like you are very happy. Lie that you have moved on. And that a single life is more comfortable for you.Tell him you still consider him as a friend!

[Asker]

This is a good idea, I don't want to come into his life being a downer... I want to be the girl he fell in the beginning... I don't know why I always want to contact him when I feel my lowest...hmmm. But anyways, I realize I'm in no shape to contact him again, maybe when I am a little more stable I can, because right now it's too hard to even fake it. Thanks for you advice:)

[innocentface]

hey sweety! don't feel low! you think about him because you love him. and by what you have said I feel he also loves you same. you just need to do some meditation, be positive in life. may be go around some time and play with small children in some park or in an orphanage. stop worrying too much. and you must believe in yourself. you are kind, you are good, you are sacrificing and matured. and no doubt you are in a stable state that you still care so much about him! so just calm down, breathe in

[missymarkath]

just tell him Merry Christmas. don't add in the 'i miss you' part though if you are not ready to be in a relationship. that's just misleading and not fair to him.

[rotinaj10]

So complicated. If you don't want anything with him then why say anything? If you do you will be playing with his head and that's not fair to him. Seems like you do want something with him so why not go for it?

Depression a lot if times is self feeding. Most of the things are under your control. Shake yourself and start doing for you.

[Cowboy5]

Why all of the excuses? Do love him and wish him merry Christmas, or don't and leave him forever. It is simple.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to honestly.

If you just wanted to talk, then you'd have to say almost straight up that you want to reconnect as FRIENDS.

[Anonymous]

no. don't say a word to him ever again. f*ck him.

[temptationfalls]

Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

No. Just move on