Should I spend Christmas with an ex boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend wants me to come with him to meet his family for Christmas. He broke up with me but still wants to spend Christmas with me and it's the first time meeting some of his family. What to do? What to do?

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffee]

How long ago did yous break up?

Cause there's questions you need to ask yourself...

- Is there a chance/ do you want to get back together?

- Are you's really gonna try and be friends (not impossible but very hard when the next girl comes around)

If the answer is no to both then what do you really have to gain apart from mixed feelings. I think you might be safer emotionally to give this one a miss

And to tell you the truth, he obviously broke up with you for a reason and now wants you around for an emotional saftey net...he wants his cake and eat it...not cool...run away:)

[euro1900]

I agree, I wouldn't go

[Asker]

we just broke up like a week ago... and the thing is we live together... and there are still some feelings involved...we're kinda like the movie "the break-up"...like little jabs at eachother.. I even told him that I don't want him to want me to go for the wrong reasons and he's like I wanna spend it with you my minds already made up, we can even act like we are still together? retarded right? how do you act that?

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffee]

Ye there clearly are still feelings there, I mean why else would he ask you to go?

Has this happened before? I mean have you's broken up seriously and gotten back together?Cause lets face it...it happens :-/

At the end of the day your in the driving seat, If you think there is a chance of getting back together or transforming these feelings into a HEALTHY friendship then go, its not the worst ting you can do and you'll be surprised how easy it will be to act natural( been there)

[Asker]

I mean there are feelings involved on my end, I'm not really sure how he feels...well I live out of state so I never bought a ticket home so he didn't wanna leave me here alone, even though I said it was okay...so I don't know if he really wants me to go because he wants to spend the holiday with me or because he feels bad... he's told me he didn't wanna take anyone else... yes, we broke up once before for a few months but still saw each other and then moved in together... I'm torn :-/

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffee]

Your the only one who knows what's right for you...

That being said, if it was me, the sheer fact that he broke up with you is a big indicator of what you should do...go home to family and try take your mind of him!

Unfortunately those feelings aren't going anywhere for a while until some1 else comes on the scene, I know that's not easy to hear.

Nobody knows what time apart will do, but you do know that being around him know will do more damage to you then good...

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm just torn. the holidays to me are about spending it with loved ones.. but I just don't understand why he would still want me to go with him..

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffee]

Sorry I didn't finish

But if there is no chance of either of those things happening then I think its time to look for new accomodation cause its incredibly hard to live with some1 who you constantly bicker with, let alone an ex...depressing I know but you will have to cross that bridge eventually

[Asker]

i sort of want to get back together and I'm sort of unsure... we've had the talk about the living situation & he doesn't wanna go and doesn't want me to move out...doesn't make sense?

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffee]

nope doesn't make sense at all...its also natural for yous to not know what to do without each other...so I would say play that to your advantage...go home for the holidays and see if he gets a taste of life without you and if he misses you.

I no I'm a stranger but I'm now emotionally invested in your situation:)

you's really do need time apart I think...

[Asker]

no, I appreciate the advice because like I said I'm so torn...part of me feels like going with him maybe would help/make him rethink it all and also because his family is all expectin me to come & excited to meet me...and sort of because I wanna be there for him, because he's got his family background issues & things so...but I really just don't know..

[afrolejin]

consider it your last act of kindness going into the new year

[Asker]

yeah, but I've been way good to this man already...like I've been through more than a normal person would put up with...and I still have feelings kinda, I'm in between really...part of me is really just unsure...i can go home and spend time with my own family and friends...i just don't understand why he'd want to take me still and pretend we are together

[stercor]

Go! Be friendly.