Why do some guys move so fast in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now. And we haven't even talked about moving in. Well I made a comment once, I saw a billboard for a new condo being built. I saw the people on the picture and I told my boyfriend "that could be us". I was just joking of course, but he immediately deflected it.

So then I tried to ease the situation by saying "Well, obviously not anytime soon". And then he just said no. And I said, but eventually right?" and he was all "I dunno..".

I don't really get it. I mean some guys move so fast. My one friend has been dating her boyfriend for 5 months. 5 MONTHS and they are now living together!

I have a friend who was dating his girl 6 months and they moved in together. Now they have a baby and are engaged, and it hasn't even been a year.

I get it's better to wait. But you think that a guy would at least be planning stuff with you after the 2 year mark. Even if it's plains that won't happen for another year or so.

Now don't think I am looking for a free ride. I make my own money. I make just as much as my boyfriend, and I have a steady job. I already graduated college, own my own car and have my own place. But I'm just curious why some guys will be willing to move in with a girl after a short period of time, and yet someone like me has such a hard time?

Why can't my guy be over the moon to have me in his life? My friend gets to live with her boyfriend and he always does nice things for her.

My boyfriend does nice things, but stuff like Valentine's day he won't participate in. Kinda bums me out. I've never received flowers from him.

[cazza3]

Because for some people relationships don't have time limits. There is no right time to do anything you do what feels right for you. I moved in with my boyfriend after a few months, not intentionally I just ended up there, we bought a house together a year into our relationship and we're still together after 11 years. Some people do have set times of when and what should happen, others don't. Whatever works for the couple involved is nobody else's business but theirs. Maybe your boyfriend wants to get other aspects of his life together first. A lot of people like to have their ducks in a row so to speak

We don't participate in Valentines either because its bollocks. You shouldn't need one day of the year to tell you how to treat your partner. Its the most over hyped day of the year, prices are pushedu and places are packed because people believe its what they must do on the 14th of Feb. If I see something I know my s.o would like I buy it for him or decide it'd be nice to go to dinner regardless of the time of year.Maybe your boyfriend has never got you flowers because he doesn't know how much you want them, not every woman likes flowers In the 11 years I've been with my s.o I have never gotten flowers because I think they're a waste but he treats me like a queen. Makes my dinner everyday, hands me a cup of tea the minute I step in the door from work, can't go to the shop without buying me something, strokes my back until I fall asleep, they are the things that matter, the ones he does everyday.

[gonyr]

Well for the second friend you mentioned, the timing seems like they got preggers so they move in

If receiving flowers is the real issue here than I don't know how to help. But if you feel like talking about where you no see the relationship going than have that talk. Don't use your friends as evidence or as a marker or anything like that though. They have their own situations you have yours

[Racez]

I think it's really best to wait. That will make the guy more committed and moving in is not for the reason that he can get sex everyday.

Perhaps, he has known you for so long that his presence alone is enough. Or perhaps, he's not really the romantic type of guy.

[kheserthorpe]

If you're both out of school and dating 2 years and he doesn't want to live together, it's not a matter of 'how fast'. It's not happening.

[Asker]

He hasn't gone to school yet and is unsure what he wants to do. But even if he worked part-time, I make enough that we could live comfortably.