Why do men seem to move on so quickly?

Question

Man I bet if I were to die right now my boyfriend would find a new white bitch within like 3-5 months 😂 it’s quite sad actually because if he died I think I’d spend the rest of my life missing him.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Interestingly enough, the data seems to suggest the opposite of what you are asking. Women move on more quickly than men.

In geriatric long term partnerships where one partner dies, if the survivor is female, she normally continues living to a more or less normal age for dying. If the survivor is male, they tend to die fairly soon after losing their partner. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Widowhood_effect a. k. a "dying of a broken heart"

Women just don't seem to care as deeply. At least not to the point of dying over it. They might be more vocal or post more on social media, or otherwise draw attention to themselves in public displays of grief and suffering. But the fact that they are not dying, and men are, says that all those histrionics are either helping them get over it quicker, or they just don't actually care on the same life-threatening level as males.

On the other hand, I have absolutely "gotten over" or at least on the outside probably "appeared" to have gotten over women that I love deeply. Because I don't cry and whinge to my friends, or post publicly seeking attention, doesn't mean that I'm not feeling anything. I also feel it's best not to dwell and fret over someone who either doesn't want to be with me, or in the case of their death, is no longer available to me. Acceptance and moving on is the healthy option here. I had a girlfriend who I loved A LOT, who I also thought loved me, but she acted distant with me and lukewarm so I asked her if she wanted to be with me. When she said "I don't know", I packed my bags and left. I don't need that, I'm not going to beg to be valued and loved. I treated her like a princess, and so I told her I was gone until she figured out what she wanted.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You are making the very common mistake of conflating a man's sexual interests and his emotional interests.

Most men do NOT move on from a relationship quickly on an emotional level, unless the relationship was a mess and he'd checked out of it long before. A lot of guys need months or years to be able to move on emotionally.

But, for men, sexually is completely separate, and should always be recognized and thought and talked about as a separate issue.

A man may be full of emotional grief about his broken relationship, but that won't stop him from banging other girls - it might even motivate him to do more of it. But those girls are "empty calories" for him - the sex makes him feel better about himself and reminds him that he's a man, but the girls don't necessarily mean anything to him on an emotional level. They are the male version of a woman eating ice cream after a break up - empty calories. That's what "rebound relationships" are - empty calories.

TwinkleLily5 · Accepted Answer

They don’t really be in love—it’s just a convenience for them. At least that’s what it seems. As long as they’re getting something they desire in the relationship they will stay etc. As soon as you stop giving them what they desire or you are gone they will find that in another woman. A lot of males like to chase so meeting a new woman is interesting for them.

mamasan · Accepted Answer

I actually don't think that's true at all. I think if the guy actually had feelings for the girl, it takes them longer to move on. Guys are less likely than girls to seek out emotional support. Guys tend to hide their pain and go about their day, but that doesn't mean they're not hurting.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think there has to be made a difference here. Just because a guy looks at every woman that catch his attention he´s not necessarily attracted to them because the memory is quickly fading.
Like I look at approxamitely 50 women a day but that doesn´t mean I find them all attractive.
The deal or issue starts if I take time to look for them again like on social media because that would mean that they have something that keeps me thinking about them.
From a male perspective looking at women in the streets isn´t that much of a deal because the moment a woman comes around she might catch our eyes we forget about her if another woman comes around the corner.
Sorry but I doubt that you wouldn´t move on, it might take you longer but I sincerely doubt that you´ll miss all your life and stay single if he dies.
What could be the case though that he built a habit of needing the acknowledgement of more than one woman while being single, so it could be the case that he still wants acknowledgement of other women because he needs that for self-confidence.
A last option could be that you´re overthinking and that he isn´t moving on at all he just acts in a certain way that makes you feel like he could be moving on.
How do you know he´s not completely breaking down when you´re dead and is that something you wish he was if you died?

ChiTown33 · Answer

Because guys are lucky if even 10% of women are capable being attracted to them. A guy asks a 100 women out and maybe 10 say yes (and that's being generous mind you). 5 lose interest after the first date if not before. Maybe 3 more decide he's not a good match after a couple weeks. So that leaves 2 potential real relationships. And that assuming he doesn't say anything stupid that makes her end it lol.
So a guy might only get 1 serious relationship out of 100 attempts.
As woman would you be able to stomach that level of rejection? So guys have to kind of not be fully committed to anything till there's a real reason to be. Also knowing this it just is logical to cultivate many relationships simultaneously because you know the women are going to "flake". Problem is that's so impersonal. I've never been able to focus on more than one woman at a time. But the most successful guys do.

So the answer to your question is guys don't move on quickly. We're conditioned to always be prepared for her to decide she doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore at a moments notice.

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

You think that it takes your boyfriend about several months to find a new girlfriend after you pass away and he is still your boyfriend , do I get it correctly? Do you even trust him? If so , what is this question? I think you are terribly in the middle of nowhere and confused like a maniac. Since you are really young it is so normal that you feel so. You call these kind of things as love right? If you do so the only thing that you do is to harm the true love in those ages. Cuz you will break up in the future , certainly and find the new ones and this process will continue. And then , you are going to say "Love does not exist anymore in that time I do not thing I am gonna find a true love" lol If you consume love in the early ages you will fail the love course and will be getting F :) The more people enter your heart the more you harm yourself and also gradually decrease the believe in love as time passes. By the way , why do you call the person that he would find a b***h? Shame on you , I condemn you but I do much more for your boyfriend horribly. Keep away from that idiot , dirty-minded , b***h-lover idiot cuz he cannot be loyal to you.

Levin · Answer

You know there's always this narrative that men are bad and superficial, what have you. But I don't think it's fair.

If anything, I think it's the other way around. Women seem to have lots of options. There is always someone waiting in the wings as a potential partner. Men usually don't have that luxury.

Also, your main problem, if you can call it that, is this is: I believe from what you've written on here, this is your first serious relationship? In that case, your relationship and love is all encompassing. People who have had a number of relationships can put loss into context.

Relationships do break down, and you find someone more suitable, a better match. First relationships are always hard when a break up occurs.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you aren't feeling very secure. you are very young and I've seen young couple... married, she died after 1 year when she got drunk and did something stupid and died. I'm not sure that guy recovered and moved on to build a family, but I hope he did. Don't you? should he stay stuck in that loss forever at 21yrs old? His wife was a wonderful person, but she was a lot to handle... p. s. message of that story is don't drink!

Some do and some don't. Some people are more emotional and attachment differently than others, it's personality. We all know of women who bounce from one guy to the next, sometimes before they are even broken up.

GingerGuy · Answer

I think there's 3 things involved, you mentioned one in finding other women attractive, and this goes in part to the second thing as well. We're visual, and don't necessarily need an emotional connection to be attracted to women. Is it better if there is one? Absolutely, but not "needed" like for many women. And so even if he sleeps with another woman, doesn't mean he's necessarily "moved on" either, because it could just be physical, and emotions aren't involved that way. But lastly, a common way guys "move on" (the unhealthy way), is by "forcing it" and immediately getting with someone new. So again, looks like they've "moved on", but may not have at all, just trying to.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

When something has ended, it makes the most sense to leave it in the past and move on. I'm not waiting for the right moment when I already accepted that things would never work out. What would be the point of that?

Yea it sucks when a relationship or an engagement ends, but when you've already accepted reality, you're not gonna be hurt by it. It's easier to move on to another woman when she is exactly or almost exactly what I want in a woman. I'm not waiting around for an ex to pop up with the "heyyyy..." out of nowhere. I block her and move om

Anonymous · Answer

Firstly, I dont think that genitals are anything to do with it.

But most importantly, this isn't a competition, it doesn't matter how quickly or slowly anyone is processing anything, we are all just doing our thing and thats ok.

If you are upset and greiving then allow yourself to do that, feel what you need to be feeling, think it through and accept what has happened.

Its not the end of the world, its just the end of a chapter in a book, its totally fine, turn the page when you are ready.

clampfan101 · Answer

It took me years, and our relationship was still rather casual. We were childhood sweethearts that knew we wanted to marry, but she passed away and I took flowers to her grave. We never even so much as kissed, but knew we wanted to when we were ready. I will always remember my greatest friend.

pass_the_celery98 · Answer

You may think guys or men get over things sooner but one thing about men or guys when they get used to something and it’s gone that’s when it hurts. Because the girl will be pursued by other guys. The guy on the other hand may have trouble finding a new girl. Girls may think it’s soo simple for a guy to find a girl but it’s not. It depends if the guy is good looking an tall. If he’s mediocre looking and short he’s most likely going to be rejected. Girls and women are far more likely to say no or reject a guy or man, it’s a go-to mechanism.

razelove · Answer

Someone is always chasing the other harder in a relationship. It sounds like you're chasing more after a concept of possession more so than a relationship though. I could care less what my wife will do after I'm dead. I'll be dead, absolutely irrelevant and regardless of an afterlife, no longer interfering with this plane of existence.

I'd hope she'd move on and find a new man. Likewise I'd move on swiftly to try and find a Sugar Momma or Motherly type for me, and my family if something happened to her. Life is for the living.

red324 · Answer

Depends on the girl and if I fell for her. I still think back and wish this one girl that broke up with me a little over a year ago would show up at my door step one day. I just can't ever find a good girl. They don't ever put in any effort. I mean let's do something fun besides dinner dates all the time.

libsaretards · Answer

It is just an appearance. Studies have actually shown it takes men longer than women to get over someone. Men just do not show it, but that is the very reason we take longer to heal. When women go through a breakup, they lean on their support network and let their emotions out. Men tend to bottle their emotions. Among my own experience and that of every guy I've known, the woman got over things a lot faster in every relationship. Of course this is more on the individual, but the trend tends to be men taking longer to actually heal but appearing to heal faster.

TallAnon · Answer

3-5 months is a bit quick, but it's said that in most cases, 2 years after a major event, we will be just as hapy as if the event never happened.
Now I don't know what prompted this, but we're a tad more logical. There is simply no use not moving on. So we move on.

TheLoneTerran · Answer

It's been studied quite a bit and men who were happily married, tend to marry again. It's often thought that it is because the wife provides a very fulfilling kind of companion ship, which is something most cultures strongly disapprove of.

Also since men are the pursuers, maybe they feel like they have to start early to have another chance at all?

JohannaSm · Answer

Do men move on more quickly? I'd disagree anecdotally, I've seen plenty of men hung up on me or my friends. I really think it's up to the individual, and their supporting friend group. Men just might not show you that they're hurting over a tough breakup

globetrotter22 · Answer

It’s actually a myth than men move on faster than women do unless your chasing the manwhore dbag types. From what I’ve read above you seem exactly that type.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I don't know, but I wouldn't want my man to miss me the rest of his life. I'd want him to find someone else, be happy and move on.

It hurts bad enough when you lose someone, would you really want your partner to hurt like that forever?

Reaper1985 · Answer

depends on the guy, how the relationship went overall and how they split up really. some guys can turn around a find a new partner with in a week where as others takes years or never do. because their either emotionally and mentally damaged from the lose or quit relationships altogether.

deandre09 · Answer

That is double standard as hell.
#1 women find men attractive when they are In a relationship as well
#2 women are the biggest cheaters in the world y'all cheat more than the men y'all are more discreet with it as well.
#3 if you have someone that wouldn't cheat on you and loves you unconditionally then cherish that person because it's only one of them

Why do men seem to move on so quickly?

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