Guys move on so quickly?

Question

OK this has happened so many times to myself and my friends and I want to know why...Why do guys who have been in a long term relationship with a girl he loved and then broke up with move on so so fast, like have another girl ready to take her place within a month...and in my own experience (and I am not saying I'm beautiful or an oil painting...) but why do they seem to move on to much less good looking women...I mean my ex and I have only recently broken up after a year and a half...i know we have a good laugh together, and get on well and have amazing sex and the girl he is replacing me with is not at all pretty...would be easier for me to accept if she was but she is really not...and I don't get it...why is this?

Jingerfish · Accepted Answer

I was with my boyfriend for over 2 years, living together for the past 6 months, which was the kiss of death for our relationship...it was me that had problems adjusting to the living situation and although my heart was 100% there, my head was too busy seeing all the things that I didn't like and I had a tendency to take it out on him.  Not to say that we didn't ahve some of the best, most amazing times together...we were perfect, we laughed and had fun, we were so in love and he truly loved me with all his heart.  After our last fight about 2 months ago he had enough and told me he was done, and I moved out, but not after begging him to give us another chance, to which he said no.  Less than a month later, and after a few weeks of banging anything that moved,  he was dating an ex, one that he had tried dating 15 different times because they had a child together, he said so many times he felt nothing for her, and basically she was his perpetual Plan B and always took him back...now they are together, and I know for a fact he does not and will never love her, and certainly not the way he loved me...she is the exact opposite of me in every way...but I am crushed that they are together...even during the breakup I commented about him going back to her and he said she is teh LAST person I'd turn to and here they are now...together.  I keep telling myself that he is miserable and that he is onlywith her to forget about me  more easily...I really believe hat men move on to teh next quickly in order to not have to feel the pain of losing someone they really loved...it's the only thing that really makes any sense to me...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

trust me they don't move on so fast , at least not as fast as it seems I know from experience that a guy with great love cannot forget his love to a girl no matter what he does you still effect him in everyway .

i knew a guy who when he was 17 fell in love with a sick girl and he`s now 21 and he still won't consider falling in love again he loves her and I see her in his eyes sometimes he still cries for her its very sad how she just went away .

there are many kinds of men some of them fall in love in a real way and others don't maybe he`s a jerk(no offense) .

but you have to know that , we are women and we are strong and we indure a lot of emotional pain ..we`ve struggling before but we always heal and stay strong but men cannot take emotional pain as much as we do when they fall in love they stay were love drew its borders.they replace us because they are in the denial stage they don't like staying home and wheeping like I do !

hope I helped

mrsvincenoir · Accepted Answer

They just don't work like we do.

Why do you think "most" women can't seperate sex from emotion and men can?

They process things differently to us.

Women over analise and we are much more emotional,men are more logical (apparently lol) and much more simple.

So...where as a woman will sit around around crying,going through all the old memories and eating a whole load of icecream,a man,although they are still hurting,will try to find a logical solution to feeling like that-new girl=distraction.

It takes his mind off it.

It could be he's chosen a girl who is the oppisite of what you are, maybe so he doesn't get reminded of you.

Of corse I'm not a guy so don't quote me but this is what I make of it.

bennynthejets · Accepted Answer

I think it has more to do with the guy having already moved on, or broken up with/lost love for much earlier in the relationship.   Guys generally have "checked out" of the relationship long before they actually end it.   So it is pretty natural for them to have already flirted with or saw the possibility of themselves with another person.    I think this sort of thing can go both ways however.    And as for her not being pretty...seems reasonable.   After moving on, guys really likely are not interested in the next one being prettier, so much as they are more interested in them just not being like you in the ways that made them want to break up.   Sorry if that hurts a little, but take it for what it is...he just wanted something else -- right or wrong.    Plus she may be easy to get into bed (esp if she is not pretty and she sees him as attractive -- she may want to sleep to keep), thus making her an easy lay which some guys really like after a long term relationship...its a fresh kill so to speak...new toy...etc...

sam_cooldude · Accepted Answer

well now this gal is a godd question...

basically guys are trying to run away from themselves...wat they are actually trying to do is to find someone else so that they can forget their earlier gal...

after break off they become so desperate that dey start looking each gal from a prospective Girlfriend point of view...

there may be two reasons for this behaviour:

1. Either he is missin that emotional and physical support he was gettin from his gal.

and

2. He might just be trying to prove her that he can get many gals and he doesn't require her.

basically many guys suffer from stress during that time and they have a huge "ANTI CRYBABY" barrier ahead of them...they can't even express their feelings...

at the same time thier EGO stops dem from going back to the same gal again...

thus in short guys do all this hanging out and onenight stands after breakoff just to run away from thier own feelings...

Anonymous · Answer

My ex of 4 1/2 years left me out of the blue six months ago. She was the love of my life. I  haven't dated anyone, slept with anyone, nothing. I can't get over her. Sometimes I wonder why I even wake up. My soul is crushed. I treated her like gold, and had so much to offer her. We were the perfect couple in the eyes of everyone else except her. She feels that she can do "better" than me appearance wise and thinks she deserves an Abercrombie model. It's shallow, and it's never going to work. Good guys are hard enough to come by, let alone good looking good guys. Guys who date less attractive girls have confidence problems themselves. The more attractive one partner is, the less the other has to try. If you aren't that hot, but I am, I know you aren't leaving me. Or so I think. Guys take break ups so much harder than women. It's much easier for a girl to break up with a guy, or be broken up with and get over it. They can go out with their girlfriends, flirt, drink, take guys home, etc. Guy's don't usually do that unless it's out of spite. Women cannot separate emotions and sex, guys can.

DrJones · Answer

>like have another girl ready to take her place within a month...

I've never done this. Several of my ex-girlfriends have. Those are the ones I don't talk to anymore.

>why do they seem to move on to much less good looking women...

Wow, they did that too! I don't know what causes this behavior, but it's definitely not a guy/girl thing. My ex-gfs did the same rebound crap that your ex-bfs did.

My guess is they're just shallow, scared people so they're always forming a backup plan and leaving as soon as the going gets tough. The less-attractive backup is easier and less intimidating, so he/she makes an excellent rebound. That's just my best guess, so let me know if you can come up with a better explanation!

drew_behlke · Answer

girls can do the same exact thing. I think guys can just emotionally detach themselves from a situation they feel like is over for good. However, me personally, it's like a scar. The situation happens and leaves a somewhat visible mark, but not one that inhibits anything. However, if a situation of similiar merit occurs, and reminds you of what caused that scar, then you feel that pain again and therefore your never truly over it

bmoore10952 · Answer

i think it depends if the girl breaks up with him he wants to find something to fill the void if he breaks up with the girl then he may not have been in love as much as you thought he was and he might have feelings for another girl. Personally, I moved on from a relationship pretty fast but recently I have this girl who I love are having some troubles but she means so much to me I'm willing to wait til the end of time for her. So really it may just seem like guys do this often but it really does just depend.

masterofthegame · Answer

first I want to say that you asked a very good question.

but back to the story.men to be honest have problems with emotions of love. Iam not saying we are more hurt but the way we handle it is wrong wich is for the most guys the common thing of I will not tell my emotions because she might not accept me.anyways this where the most guys go wrong by hiding the emotion and not telling . and when they do that they are hurting them selfs.I think in the common world why a guy tries to get much girlfriend is because of the standard barier of losing the love by hanging out with girls.or ofcourse by going out allots of times.

and that's why these days guys are searching for acception like the most girls but on another way.a girls mostly takes a break of the game called love.but some guys do not settle down but search fast for a new girlfriend. this helps them getting theyre acceptation they need.or they try to make theyre social community bigger.to feel better

setcheck67 · Answer

Most of the time the other woman was waiting for you to break up with him so she could quickly move in and take advantage of a good deal so to speak (Basically she is less attractive then you so she didn't get a chance to prove how much better a wife she would be because he was distracted by your beauty. Now that he is no longer caring about beauty she can come in) . I honestly found it funny when my dad's wife divorced him because he didn't have enough money. Three weeks the neighbor across the street is dating him and he is making three times what he made with his original wife. reaching 114 grand a year. The neighbor woman may be less attractive, but she is a way better partner.

alpinestars-2002795 · Answer

Cause crazy women hurt us so much we become numb, and have no reason to love. Because all it's going to do is cause heartache cause that's all women are good for is breaking one's heart.  There yeah go question answered.  Oh and since we aren't allowed to have emotions.  We find out at a young age, that we aren't allowed to love either, we are just supposed to move on, or else there is something wrong with us, we are stalkers etc.  Look how society treats men that don't move on there's your answer, it's been forced on us enough that we just don't give a d**n anymore!

successfulskinnyguy · Answer

Well, for me, would move on fast from a relationship, because I view dating as like a test, if it were marriage, I wouldn't be able to move one, even if it were just on paper. I view relationships as technical, to sort of see what kind of perosn someone is, have fun with them, and so on. Yes, I can love them, but they can also move to friend mode and I could still retain those same feelings, but replace them in the relationship spot with someone else. Guys, as you may have heard, are not as emotionally driven and so on as girls. They are looking for certain things, perhaps on a list, and if they don't feel right, and they don't see those things, they move on, or at least I do. But he could also see things on his list in that girl, and hey, if he can have sex with her and it feels good, ok then. I am not sure about the good looking woment thing though someone else may have to answer that, but as for moving on, that is my opinion.

stktder · Answer

Sounds like you are asking two questions at one time. To answer the first question of why guys move on so fast is because guys like having someone to love and care for all the time. We would rather have a date to take to the movies, than to go all alone. Being alone sucks bad. I know you ladies can get along just fine being with each other, but for us guys it just doesn't feel right unless it is camping, football game, hunting or something like that.

As for the second question concerning looks of the next girlfriend, I guess it comes down to this answer for you to think about. Since white women are dating black guys so much and white guys ask why, you give the answer it is only skin deep. Don't be such hiprocrites. You date the blacks and we date the uglys, after all it is only skin deep, Right?

ibej818 · Answer

I think it depends who dumped who, and how much he emotionally depended on you.

if he wasn't that deep with you, then he's just following the basic post-breakup template:

1) Act pathetic and try and get you back.

2) Drink excessively

3) Grind what you find

4) Dump her for no reason

5) Confidence is back and life is good again

Sometimes step 1 is skipped and it's straight to step 2. Depends on how intense the relationship was. Sometime we never get over it.

Anonymous · Answer

What girls think of as beauty has absolutely no bearing on what guys find beautiful. My ex was always saying the people I was attracted to where "plain" and often felt "insulted" by my taste.

If the relationship isn't working, the guy will be miserable but trying to make it work. Usually, it takes meeting someone who "fullfills" what's been missing before the make any rash decisions on breaking up. When a guy breaks up, its because he's already moved on. Not like some girls, who do it for sport and checking >.<

Anonymous · Answer

I know someone who got dumped after 3.5 years with his girlfriend and before you know it he was dating some new girl. In the pictures, he looks so uncomfortable with his new gf...it doesn't look natural but with the ex it was sooooo real. You could just tell that they were in love.

Girls tend to cry over a heartbreak more than guys but I know guys feel the pain too. If he dumps you obviously he wanted to move on but if you dumped him it might be harder for him to get rid of the feelings he has for you - doesn't mean he won't try to find someone ASAP.

infinitypro · Answer

It's not just guys.  I have been on both ends and depending on who you are dealing with it usually sucks either way.   I hate to say it but just move on with your life, enjoy it, and it appears it wasn't meant to be and someone is out there, it is just a matter of finding them.  Best of luck.

SouljaxxStud · Answer

So I was a guy age 18 I have a Gf. we are just friends in the beginning but den on her bday last year she said I was in love with you its an great experience :) I too start loving her a lot then we fall in each other like hell we were so close we had physical relation. Many times I am younger than her in age. but we still don't care about it we both were so happy in this relation then suddenly her parents start thinking bout her marriage now the her marriage is postponed now she's concentrating on her studies. but She said she needs to move on. I mean how a girl which is so duly attached also had physical relation. Start thinking about moving on. and am sure about her that she is loyal. I mean there is no other guy. in her life. bt still she's moving on. it hurts

AshPhinium · Answer

First, let me say that I don't know what looks have to do with it.

That being said, people are different. Some of my friends love to be in relationships, and don't like being alone, so they pair off with anyone compatible. I personally like time off between boyfriends because there should be a 'cleansing period', where memories and things fade before I am ready for someone new to move into my head, heart and time.

Your ex is probably just a serial dater.

dontknowanymore · Answer

Men have stronger biological needs. They need ample supple of females all the time. It has nothing to do with beauty, just sex.

The fact that he said he can't be with you know because he's with the ugly girl? This is bs. You need to move on.

For me, f***ing a new guy helps. Sorry for sounding crude, but it does.

sirtopemhat · Answer

i think I month is definitely long enough to get over someone. my mom said that her boyfriend broke up with her after sr year in high school and  she was upset all summer. I wouldn't want to cry over someone for that long. answer my question. why does it take girls so long to move on?

MrNameless · Answer

Not all guys move on fast. It depends on how attached he was to you.. and his will power and support to move on.

If anything.. I'd say more girls move on fast.. They're usually the ones that let it all out in tears, and have more friends and family support on average, than guys do.

nurseTeddy · Answer

Yes, men can move on faster than us- women, because we are women, we are sensitive and easy to be  hurted, when we broke up, we are hard to be cured, and because they really don't love thier women, so it's very easy to keep moving and forget soon. But can't put this with all men, many are also honest, they also feel hurt, even they decline, can't say that they're weak, just because they really fall in love and it will take time to cure and move on.

clovergirl94 · Answer

Girls do this also. It's a human thing, because it helps us forget quicker as well as other things. A lot of times the added bonus is flaunting around some one new for our ex to see and get jealous over. When it comes down to solely guys, they like ego boosts. You know it happens often when they have a name for guys moving on so quickly, rebounds. Just they name shows it's nothing serious. Ego, ego, ego. ;)

Guys move on so quickly?

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