Got dumped, and she's already moved on. I just don't get it, help!

[Anonymous]

So a few weeks back I was dumped by my ex-girlfriend, she told me I was being too clingy and it looks like she's already jumped onto another guy. She really broke my heart, and I've been very cut up about this since she dumped me. She said that she didn't want to cut me out of her life, but it was clear that she didn't want to be with me anymore. So I took her off Facebook, got rid of pictures, etc... I am feeling less depressed about getting dumped, but I'm still not completely over it yet. I guess I just don't understand how some people can move on so quickly, or fall in love so quickly. She told me she was falling in love with me in our first week of dating, and it took me 3 months to completely understand my feelings and to tell her that I loved her. She really broke my heart, and I just don't understand how she's capable of moving on so quickly. I feel like she never really loved me at all, somebody please help me understand how someone can move on with their life so quickly.

[cecil]

My most recent ex girlfriend sounds similar to your ex. The second week we were together, I was joking with her about how could she ever like someone like me... and she says, "are you kidding... I'm in love with you." She was in love with the idea of it, but never me.

I also looked back to a note she sent me a week before she dumped me... "my bed is lonely without you, sleeping is just a waste of time without you."

Didn't stop her from going out with someone else two weeks after that. Some people just need their egos filled, and are never happy with what they have.

It sucks to know that we felt a lot more strongly than the other person... but I think that's the reality we're both faced with. They loved parts of us, no doubt. They did have feelings. But they also saw the things we lacked. And instead of looking past them and seeing all the amazing things about us, they looked for another guy who had those things we didn't. (not realizing the grass is not always greener, etc...)

My favorite new saying for cases like this is:

"fake love says, 'i love you, because I need you'

true love says, 'i need you, because I love you'"

Real love is out there for you. And now you're strong enough and wise enough to recognize a girl who can't give it to you. Sad that we have to go through such crap to find someone great, but life seems to like to put us through the wringer to make sure we're worthy of it, I guess.

[Asker]

wow, thanks for really understanding how I'm feeling, this really helped a lot

[flashover]

She's not good brother. Same thing happened to me. One day its "I love you" and literally the next day its just over. It doesn't make sense because some people don't make sense. Forward is the only direction. Don't cling to her, don't wait for her, and don't bow down to her anymore. She had you, and you were going to treat her right and be the best for her you could be. She threw it away not you, and its her loss. You didn't lose her, she lost you and she gets no second chances. Keep moving forward, take care of yourself, and find someone better! If you really cared about someone you wouldn't do that to them right? A lot of times I hear people say "why do guys do this" or "why do girls do this". Its not a guy or a girl thing, its a people thing. There are amazing women out there and there are amazing men out there. For some reason along the way we fall for someone bad. We can't help it, but we can make sure that we don't cling to them. Why cling to someone who won't treat you right when someone amazing is looking for someone just like you? Keep your head up bud, and things will be just fine.

[Asker]

Thank you so much, this has really gave me hope

[coffeprince]

Ohhh very well said!

[rdr005]

In all honesty, it sounds like she had already had her sights set on someone, and broke up with you for that person. Its one of those "technically I'm not cheating with you because we're not together anymore" type things. She used clingyness as an excuse to go through with it. And she used "Don't want to cut you out of her life" to seem like she's still friendly... as to not seem like the culprit in this case. But in all honesty... it seems like she's just done with you. Just move on pass this person, karma will bite her in the ass and you should just try to enjoy single life for a bit, while keeping your eyes open for someone more respectable that you can appreciate much more (and who appreciates you for you). Take this dating experience just as it is... an "Experience." Learn from it and find out things that didn't work in this relationship and how you can be a better man for the next one. As for your ex... again... she's childish... just ignore what she does and don't let it get under your skin.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, it really helps

[mshummy88]

Im pretty much in the same boat as you man, me and the ex have been broken up for almost a year now and just around the end of nov. all through december we were working on things to get back together until on of her friends introduced her to this guy. She kept blowing him off to hang with me until I left for a 7-day cruise only to come back finding them dating. And ever since till today I'm hearing how she's confused and how things are making it hard on her to decide what she wants.

Keep it cool man just hang out and chill with friends/new people. Maybe even find yourself a new girl. Who knows, maybe your ex will find out somehow..get hit with the jealousy bullet and maybe start coming back to you. Be wise though..because that's when you have to decide if you want to repeat the past or if you want to chance it with someone new that could accept how you feel and never leave your side. Best of luck bro!

[cecil]

Dude that sucks... My most recent ex and her group of friends were so insular...they didn't like that I came from the "outside world" and kept trying to break us up and get her to date friends of theirs. Well, it worked... we broke up, and she started to date a friend from their inner circle. Best of luck to you, w/e happens

[ThirtyThree]

Looks like a mix-up between 'love' and 'attraction'. Perhaps it was convenient for her at the time. Love can only happen between two people after a long time spent comfortably in each others' company - what she felt for you wasn't love, nor should you convince yourself that you felt the same ;) if she's harsh enough to move on like that, she's probably not worth you feeling bad about it. Find someone new is my advice! :)

[Anonymous]

If the problem is not being over it completely that might not go away til you get a newgf or at least a new crush.

help me rhonda

help me get her out of my heart