I just found out my boyfriend of six years cheated on me 4 years ago, what do I do?

[luckybreeze]

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now and have always suspected that he cheated on me multiple times the first few years we were together. Of course I never had proof so I stayed with him. Well I finally have my proof and I don't know what to do since it was 4 years ago and we are doing a lot better now than we used to. I found out he cheated on me with a girl he worked with and he told me in so many words that he quit seeing her because she moved away. He also keeps changing his story of when it happened precisely and never would have admitted it to me had he not gotten caught. What do I do? Stay since it was a long time ago or leave?

[Lesae]

Sweetie, I dated a guy for 7 that did the same thing. If there was one there were others, and will be more. He stopped seeing her because she moved? So, would he still be cheating if she were still around? He got caught. He figures it was a long time ago that the hurt would not be as bad. But, it is. You have to think to yourself if you want this or not. You need time to consider if you can ever trust him again. That will be your biggest test.

[luckybreeze]

I agree. The fact that he mentioned that the last time he slept with her was the night before she moved really disturbed me. It just sucks because I have completely alienated myself from everyone in my life :(

[Lesae]

I did the same thing and that is bad. You need to become independent and get your life back. I don't think you can trust this guy. He felt something for her or he would not have slept with her the night before.

[luckybreeze]

Your right. I didn't even think of that. He had said it was just sex but the fact that he slept with her the night before means he must have felt something for her. Plus he was still talking to her after she had moved.

[Anonymous]

I think you should stay with him it was so long ago and like you said y'all are doing a lot better now. Don't let her break you and your boyfriend up stick by his side. And don't bring it up anymore unless he wants to talk about it because I know a guy cannot stand a girl that is always nagging.

[lovebird01]

He is still not being truthful with you about this whole matter. It sounds like he isn't even sorry he cheated; he just wants to explain it away. He will probably cheat again. I know 6 years is a long time to invest in a relationship, but you should think about leaving him, and moving on. You can't stay with someone who lies and isn't trustworthy.

[luckybreeze]

He says he is sorry but cannot even tell me when this happened. You would think he would remember since he has told me has only been with six people. I'm pretty sure he knows the specifics. He says that he is not the same person, but I don't know.

[x9354]

Cheat on him, and then tell him about it 2 weeks later, but tell him not to worry because the dude is in the army and was shipped out. See what he says. His answer will probably help you figure out what you should do.