Why make small talk with your ex?

[Anonymous]

What's the point in contacting an ex (who you aren't really friends with anymore, but things between you are civil) just to see how they've been or what they're up to now? Are you just curious? Do you still somewhat care for them in a friendly way? Are you interested in them again?

[S8tr1234]

i think it's because of the whole comfort issue. my first bf, I still talk to him every now and then but not on a regular basis, just to see how he is. my current ex, well he did make the effort to send me an e-mail to which I never responded to due to the nature of our break up. he basically disappeared and avoided my calls. but at any rate, I try not to make a habit of contacting my exes even though things are civil between us. I just find it strange. I mean, to me, a break up is a break up, so people should just make a clean break and move on. what's the point in dwelling in the past? I guess it's a bit selfish to say this, but how am I suppose to get over the other person if I'm in contact with him, right? I mean, from time to time, you'll feel a sting when you hear the other person talking about other women that he's encountered or his current gf. I don't want to end up being on the other end giving him emotional support when really, I should be concentrating on myself and my life. I learned the hard way that you shoudln't hold a candle out for anyone who doesn't even want to be with you. so while things are ok, I'd much rather not talk to my exes and just be happy knowing that I'm not stuck with jerks. they're exes for a reason and exes they will remain.