I have to break up with my boyfriend of 2.5 months. The only problem is he starts exams in a few days for 11 days. After that is Christmas, both of which I will likely be ruining for him.
As a student I understand how this would be bad before exams but I also wouldn't want someone to be pity dating me which I would have to be doing and will just have to cancel our plans/lie because I don't want to kiss/sleep with him.
We only see each other ~8 or so hours a week so is it possible he might not take it so bad?
I feel really bad :s He's a great guy I just NEVER get to see him, have no emotional connection and am reconciling with my ex.
I don't want to see or hang out with him to lead him on.
In my catch22, lose-lose situation I've decided I'd rather him hate me for being a shit girlfriend than causing him to fail/do badly in his (really hard) courses.
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I don't know if you'll see this, but I figure I'll throw in my two cents.
I was in this exact situation in my sophomore year of college, except I was breaking up with my then girlfriend. I took the "wait because I don't want her to fail exams" route and regretted it almost immediately. It was a terrible thing to do to her, she felt worse that I had led her on. What's worse is that she KNEW something was wrong, because I wasn't myself. Due to our schedules we barely saw eachother during exam week (like at all), and I had made this decision right at the beginning of the week. Well once you get home for Christmas, you have nothing but time. I felt really guilty the whole time, and since I wasn't being normal it pretty much ruined both of our Christmases anyway.
Seriously, I would reconsider waiting. He won't appreciate it. He's a big kid, and he'll hate you more for leading him on. Unless you do it RIGHT after his exams. But waiting the whole winter break isn't fun for either of you. And it's not fair to him OR to you. And his exams are over 11 days, it's not like you're telling him 2 minutes before he sits down for a test.
I read some of your other posts, and you are right. If it isn't right, it isn't right. I wouldn't mention your ex, but really waiting is terrible. My ex actively hates me. I still have friends who know her, and she told me upfront when we finally broke up that I should have told her, the timing isn't something you can control.
I said the same thing, that I'd rather her be more angry than ruining her exams. Firstly, the exams won't be ruined, and secondly it's not right for you to decide that for him, just like it wasn't right for me.1