Throughout my dating life, I have spent a lot of time - more time than in any other phase - in the talking phase of a relationship. And let me tell you, it can be amazing, butterfly-inducing, and exciting, or it can be agonizing, awkward, or stressful. I have gotten more guys numbers than I can remember, and the way they texted gave me a pretty quick decision on whether or not it was a conversation I wanted to continue. In this MyTake, I will give you a list of ways to make a girl fall for you through text messages, based on my own personal experience.
1. Text her first!
I know this is considered the standard, but I can only think of a few guys that actually did this. When I'm left to text first every time, I start to worry that I'm annoying the guy I'm talking to, that he's not as interested in me as I thought. While I totally don't mind initiating, if a guy texts me first, I know he was thinking about me, that he wants to talk to me, and that he's going to put in the effort. It makes me smile to see his name pop up on my phone screen, unexpectedly.
2. Text her when you can have a conversation.
Evenings are great. Even if I'm in a rehearsal late, I'll see the message when I get out and be perfectly happy to talk as I'm winding down and getting in bed. If I like where things are going, I'll be perfectly happy to stay up late continuing the conversation. And we all know there's nothing quite like a little pillow talk, even if it's virtual. But in general, don't text her to start a conversation when you're about to be too busy to look at your phone unless you have something really important to say.
3. Texting is great but dates are better.
Don't get stuck in the rut of texting all day every day - ask her out already! Nothing will ever happen if you don't take her out on actual dates. The guys that I have ended up the closest too were always the ones who took the time to meet up with me and spend time together, face to face. Even if our only texting was to plan the next date, I still preferred this to texting someone who wasn't making any effort to make me a part of his every day life.
4. Tease her, kindly.
If you can joke around with a girl, making her laugh, but never forgetting to laugh at yourself too, you'll go far. I know I like guys who don't take everything - especialyl not the process of getting to know someone - too seriously. We don't need to have deep conversations right off the bat. Getting to know someone should be fun and lighthearted! The serious stuff can come later. So tease her, but be gentle - you're not trying to hurt her feelings (emojiis come in handy for sarcasm). Tell her stupid dad jokes if you want. Anything you think will make her laugh.
5. Ask her questions about herself.
And remember the answers. People love to talk about themselves, but even more, they love when the people they have shared parts of themselves with remember these things. Questions show you're interested in her. Remembering her answers shows you care. It won't go unnoticed.
6. Use her name, sometimes.
For some reason, if a guy says my name at the right moment, it can be a HUGE turn on. There's something so personal and sweet about having someone actually use your name. Waiting for the right moment is extra important here though. It can come across as creepy if you do it too often. One great place to use a girl's name is if she has just tolf you a funny story about her day and you respond with something like "OMG [name] [maybe some laughing emojiis], that is too funny." (And don't forget to follow it up with a question or your own related story so that the conversation doesn't die! Which brings me too...
7. Give her texts she can respond to.
It's never a good idea to send "k" or "lol" but there are lots of other texts that can close off a conversation. Before you hit send, read what you've written and think to yourself how easy or difficult it would be to come up with a response to what you've said. If it's difficult, delete and re-write your message. If you aren't giving her anything to respond to, you'll run the risk of losing her interest.
7. Don't ignore her messages.
An ignored message is a sign of disinterest. If you accidentally forget to respond, then make sure to text her first and reinitiate so she doesn't feel like you're blowing her off. You should still know when it's time to end a conversation - you don't need to be talking all day every day - but a goodbye is better than silence. Silence is where self-doubt and endless googling boys behavior and asking questions on here comes about.You want her to be confident in your interest in her, which leads me to our final point...
8. Just tell her how you feel!
If a girl keeps texting you and you don't like her, tell her you're not interested. It doesn't have to be mean, but honesty will save you both a lot of trouble. Believe me, she will survive. It's hard to do but so much better just to hear no than to keep wondering if you're feelings are reciprocated. Similarly, if you do like a girl, tell her! Don't leave her guessing. If you don't feel comfortable just saying it, then ask her out (this goes back to number 3) and show her how you feel.
Texting a girl shouldn't really be that difficult. In the past, I have stopped responding to guys who came on too strong or just didn't show any interest in getting to know me, and most often, those who never seemed to want to hang out (whether I brought it up or not). The guys that I have liked most have been the ones who texted enough to show they cared and were interested and who made an effort, through texting, to spend time together in real life.