Why is it that men are so thirsty for women?
They need our vaginas
They need them for two reasons. Our vaginas are the way to our most prized possessions: our eggs, and the continuation of a man's legacy, and our vaginas are prized possessions to entertain their penises!
So, as every man who goes to online sites to attempt to meet and date women knows, the odds are against him. You might as well admit the analogy: Women are eggs and men are sperm. Thousands of them are banging at the gates when only one can be let in, even though, until late in the game, there are as many men as there are available women.
So what, pray tell, is the solution for men? This is my theory. Only mine. I base it on nothing but my own experience. BE ENTERTAINING.
There are few things I find more gratifying than a good joke, a belly laugh, laughing so hard I cry and throw my head back and cackle. I laugh so hard the man who has just entertained me with his humor laughs at ME. And what is more gratifying than making a woman laugh? You disarm her. She is at your mercy. And the woman wonders, what MORE can he do to make me laugh? What other tricks does he have up his sleeve? How sharp IS his wit? Can he make me laugh in bed?
The proof. Most stand-up comedians are men. It's because making women laugh pays off.
Look at the short list of popular stand-up comedians. First, most are men, second, most aren't good looking. Most are, well, quirky. But the feature they have in common is they tell great, hilarious stories. Those listening are rapt, dying for the punchline. And if you listen to the audiences laugh, the highest pitched laughs are from women, literally screaming with joy. Nearly orgasmic! I believe funny men are actually gauging how hot the women they amuse might be in bed. But that's just me....
But, then, you muse, what the hey, I couldn't remember a joke if my life depended on it. I don't have the timing to do it right. OK, OK. Don't panic. There are other ways to charm the savage female. Dance.
Astaire and Rogers' twinkle toes put a twinkle in everyone's eyes.
Any man who can sweep a woman off her feet with the Lindy Hop, two step, waltz or other incarnations of dance is both sexy AND coordinated. And you can take lessons!
On the other hand, YOU have three left feet. Geez, OK, SING!
Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly ham it up in "Anchors Away."
So, if you've got the pipes, serenade the girl.
Maybe you've got pipes AND fingers. It's always impressive if you're talented with your hands. Playing the guitar, or violin for that matter, will charm the female breast.
Jeff Buckley does the Leonard Cohen song far better than its originator.
All right. You don't do any of the above. But maybe you've got a paintbrush and a canvas to fill.
Funny actor Jim Carrey shows serious art talent.
Once again, you don't have the former talents, but you can entertain a woman in the kitchen with all your clothes on. Most famous chefs are men. Why? Because they're feeding women! Women love to be wowed and wooed. This skill does all three.
Bobby Flay creates seafood delights.
Sigh. You cannot entertain a woman with any of the suggestions listed. But you're good around the house! This is an invaluable skill that you might not be able to whip out on a date, but you can relate tales of how you installed a new john, or cleaned out the gutters, or changed a tire and the oil of your car. A man who's handy around the house is, handy around the house! You'll see most women's eyes glisten with delight and anticipation.
The amazing men of "This Old House" feather nests.
Perhaps you're a sportsman? My dad was a hunter and brought home some amazing food that wasn't available anywhere else. Duck and rabbit are delicious. My cousin hunts deer and usually has some with our Christmas dinner. Talk about bringing home the bacon. I like to hunt too.
If the lady likes hunting, it's a great adventure and a great date.
Perhaps you're a fine poet or writer and the woman you're wooing is a reader. Write her a poem or a short story. Take her to a poetry slam. You might not be doing the entertaining personally, but you know how to entertain HER.
And that's the bottom line. Show her what you got and make it fun. Let her see what you bring to the table, and make it tasty. Get down and dirty changing her oil or rotating her tires. Take her on your favorite hiking trail and point out the marvelous hills and valleys. Take her running or biking or swimming at your favorite lake or beach.
Let a woman know you'd like to entertain and please her, and you seal the deal. In turn, she'll want to entertain and please YOU too.
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