Okay peeps, I made a big breakthrough today as I was doing my leg and back workout.
I've been reflecting on my life, and specifically on the last 9 years -- you could say the time I finished puberty through now. (17-26).
I've been thinking about why I have never dated officially long term, despite nearly all my peers from school doing so at some point.
Why I don't seem to hookup with anyone either, except for rarely, and when I get the chance it's always a coworker or costudent at the same college. I began to wonder why that was.
Then it became clear to me. In Social Psychology it has been shown that proximity is the best predictor of sexual relationships. This has been demonstrated in studies, which I can't recall off hand without going back to my old textbook.
Imagine a person with severe time management issues -- such as myself. I'll be honest, I've been fired from my last two jobs for being chronically late to work. I've also basically failed every 9am morning class I have ever taken due to missing lots of class, and yes, even being late to midterms and final exams. I once slept through a midterm!
Consequently, when I'm not showing up to places because I can't get there on time nobody knows I exist. And that means I'm not in the proximity to meet new people. Ala, no sex or romance.
Okay, what about Tinder!? Well what kind of photos could I post up? Me sleeping in until 9:30am or 10am as an adult?
Me doing solitary activities in the afternoon?
What should I list as my career? 'Chronically late -- high turnover for jobs.'
Of course it's a bad profile. Because if I have issues IRL it's not going to make someone interested -- just the opposite actually. Tinder works for people with awesome lives who have much substance to display in a profile of photos. Aka, wholesome activities which require you to wake up in the morning and show up on time to.
Anytime in my past that I had any prior success it was because of not yet getting fired or just hanging in by the skin of my teeth but none the less showing up and socializing/participating.
Take those things away, and presto everything disappears with it. People judge unemployed individuals negatively. And so on and so forth. Basically, if you can't show up on time then you can't really participate in society or really do anything except for maybe walk-in no appointment required services.
So yeah, that's just a short take. But revolutionary to me in terms of my own understanding.