Poor Time Management can make You Sexless

Robertcw

Okay peeps, I made a big breakthrough today as I was doing my leg and back workout.

I've been reflecting on my life, and specifically on the last 9 years -- you could say the time I finished puberty through now. (17-26).

I've been thinking about why I have never dated officially long term, despite nearly all my peers from school doing so at some point.

Why I don't seem to hookup with anyone either, except for rarely, and when I get the chance it's always a coworker or costudent at the same college. I began to wonder why that was.

Then it became clear to me. In Social Psychology it has been shown that proximity is the best predictor of sexual relationships. This has been demonstrated in studies, which I can't recall off hand without going back to my old textbook.

Imagine a person with severe time management issues -- such as myself. I'll be honest, I've been fired from my last two jobs for being chronically late to work. I've also basically failed every 9am morning class I have ever taken due to missing lots of class, and yes, even being late to midterms and final exams. I once slept through a midterm!

How I look everyday while employed or in school.
How I look everyday while employed or in school.

Consequently, when I'm not showing up to places because I can't get there on time nobody knows I exist. And that means I'm not in the proximity to meet new people. Ala, no sex or romance.

Okay, what about Tinder!? Well what kind of photos could I post up? Me sleeping in until 9:30am or 10am as an adult?

Me doing solitary activities in the afternoon?

What should I list as my career? 'Chronically late -- high turnover for jobs.'

Me trying to make an appealing Tinder profile.
Me trying to make an appealing Tinder profile.

Of course it's a bad profile. Because if I have issues IRL it's not going to make someone interested -- just the opposite actually. Tinder works for people with awesome lives who have much substance to display in a profile of photos. Aka, wholesome activities which require you to wake up in the morning and show up on time to.

Anytime in my past that I had any prior success it was because of not yet getting fired or just hanging in by the skin of my teeth but none the less showing up and socializing/participating.

Take those things away, and presto everything disappears with it. People judge unemployed individuals negatively. And so on and so forth. Basically, if you can't show up on time then you can't really participate in society or really do anything except for maybe walk-in no appointment required services.

So yeah, that's just a short take. But revolutionary to me in terms of my own understanding.

Yeah.
Yeah.
Poor Time Management can make You Sexless
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Most Helpful Guys

  • rjroy3
    This can all be summed up as.

    1. Conquer Procrastination
    2. Focus on the 80/20 principle

    Make a plan and just get started on work/school/whatever needs to be done right away. Don't procrastinate. And when you are doing work, focus primarily on the 20% that provides you 80% of the results. I'd almost go as far as saying don't even bother with the other 80% that only provides 20% of results. Because your time would be better spent going all-in on that 20%.

    If you're consistently late to class it's because you slept in more than likely or procrastinated getting ready once you did wake up. If you slept in, it's because you procrastinated going to bed earlier. If you felt you had to stay up to get whatever done consistently. It's likely because you procrastinated getting started and are behind on the work.

    All of that without ever taking periods to catch yourself up on say the weekend. One weekend, staying in just getting your shit together can really change your entire day to day life for several months. Doing that allows you more time to really socialize and enjoy yourself, because you don't have the life stress going on in the back of your mind.
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  • WhateverMayBeWillBe
    I don't think time management/being chronically late is the main factor for the lack of a dating life - I do agree that it is a problem (that I share as well, because I am frequently late for work and have been fired because of that in the past) so definitely resolve that.

    As for tinder... tinder is fucking retarded, it's purely looks. I have made real & fake dating profiles in the past and what matters to girls & guys when picking/getting matches is your photos. It's basically this - get semi professional photos taken and look attractive in the photos - that's all that matters.

    But regardless I would work on improving your time management, it will pay off/is absolutely necessary if you want accomplish any of your goals.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • LuvMyHubby
    Wow. This is a game changer for you. I’m old enough to be your mom, so I feel qualified to say that you have done well to think this through. You are facing ourself with brutal honesty and constructive insight. Find a good coach or mentor to support you through developing different habits that support your goals. Also, if you don’t already, listen to Thd Moth podcast for inspiration. There are a lot of true stories in there about people who spun their wheels in early adulthood then got their acts together and accomplished great things. You are on the right track. You got this.
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  • turtlelovr
    I actually sleep till 2pm because I work nights so imagine how hard it is working night. Anyone on dating sites that are up at that hour are 98% horny and looking for a screw.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Robertcw

      I just laughed out loud at this. I feel your pain. However, I'd take that problem over the scenario of just nothing.

    • turtlelovr

      I get nothing but "I'm horny" or convo startes great and they say " oh ok I'm a little horny" or I just flat out get dick pics

    • Robertcw

      I have never met a guy who doesn't like nudes. The male equivalent of what you're describing is probably being lead on but never meeting up. Or having their messages ignored maybe. Many guys, I think, would be ecstatic to have that kind of Tinder life. Lmao.

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What Girls & Guys Said

57
  • LEETSBEREAL
    Oh Thank God... I thought it was just me 🤦‍♀️ Lol fuck knows how I am still employed tbh. Can't be on time to save my fucking life... can't go on like this...
  • jazla16
    You remind me of myself. I am not a morning person so always late to work and also have had many jobs on my CV not because of getting fired, but probably because I didn't want to wake up at 8am anymore. Am really trying to change that now..
  • jabbahut
    I honestly don’t have enough time to date as I’m on the radio from 6am and manage a FM station in Denver - with my job I wish I had more free time
  • Screenwriter
    People who chronically show up late are calling attention to themselves. They make everyone wait because they are convinced they are more important than others. They have anger issues. (WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO come in at a set time. If I'm a half hour late, I'll stay a half hour late. I get more work done than anybody else ANYWAY!) The world should accommodate THEM, not the other way around. You realize you have a problem, now get yourself to a life coach and get RID of this situation. 13 sessions should do it. Be committed to doing better.
    • Robertcw

      I don't think that's true. I think it's biological. There was a study done that showed chronically late people actually perceive the passage of time differently than punctual people.

      I think they perceived 3 seconds time as 1 second and 90 seconds as 60 seconds. This overflows into everything. For instance, they might hold eye contact weirdly long hut in their minds are just doing a quick glance or are just looking people in the eye normally. etc.

      Chronic lateness is typically consistent throughout the lifespan and is believed to be biologically determined.

      My dad is the same way. He's perpetually unaware of how much time passes at any given moment. And he's often surprised at what time it is whenever he checks, expecting it to be much earlier in the day than it is.

    • But there are logical remedies for that. Set your wakeup time at a half hour earlier. Have a watch on your wrist. Check the time more often. I believe the biological issues are real. You simply have to work around them so you don't get fired etc. There is STILL the issue of SOME late folks calling attention to themselves too. My ex was always late to the dinner table. He kept eight people waiting. EVERYONE in his family talked about this. But he was never late to work or for anything we did together. Hmmmm.

    • Robertcw

      Oh lol ya that's just disrespectful. But I'm indiscriminately late.

      Midterms, doctor appointment, work, date, movie theater, anything you can possibly name.

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  • Honestyyy
    This has been me my whole life unfortunately i have no motivation drive or reason to care to change I've kinda accepted it
  • DonCachondo
    You're right I became sexless a while ago for the same reason. I reproduce via mitosis now.
  • themomo84
    Interesting, I am punctual af and am avoiding a serious relationship right now. Live and learn I guess
  • englisc
    Why is it that you're chronically late?
    • Robertcw

      Always been that way. I've been late to everything since kindergarten.

    • englisc

      Yeah but why? Like for example, you wake up late - why do you wake up so late? Do you go to bed late? Could you not try to go to bed earlier? Do you have sleep problems?

    • Robertcw

      I definitely have sleep problems.

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  • COMMODOREII
    Amen brother!! Lol
  • reecey726
    Shxt happens man work night shift
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
  • Silence00
    No, just need a steel heart.
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