If my bf likes thin/fit girls then why is he with me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and I know he loves me so much but I'm also aware of the fact that he likes thin/fit girls. Like when we first started dating he had tumblr and would reblog pictures of only really fit looking women. Several months ago I badgered him about it and he said "Well I do like fit girls"

I am about 40 lbs overweight. So why would he date me if I'm not the kind of girl he's most attracted to?

by the way I have been trying to lose weight forever but I have PCOS so it's extremely difficult for me

[Anonymous]

My man , loves fit thin girls , and im not, and he is still with me ,
My man loves girls with curly , blond hair and i dont have that and he is still with me,
My man loves short women , and im not , but he is still with me ,
T
Why?
Cuz he loves me for me, that doesn't mean that he hares what i have , no ,, he loves what i have , and he doesn't want me to change , and we are together for 5 years ,,

So i really believe , he loves you for you,,,

[Opinion Owner]

Hates *

[Lotusqueen88]

Don't you feel like if it came down to it that one of those women he's most attracted to would be way more enticing than you? What's if he worked at a bar where the bar tender had all those things that you know was his preference that he might end up cheating on you with them or he might check them out a lot

[lace1228]

Sounds like you have more of a problem with your weight then he does. He is with you because he chooses to, don't question it and be accepting of who you are. Losing weight isn't easy (I know)
However you need to tell yourself your worth it and every time you are about eat something ask yourself is this worth it. Anyways good luck.

[Asker]

thank you

[NoblesseOblige]

Whoa a Canucker!

[lace1228]

Yupperds :)

[HoneyButterCup525]

I'm sure this is an old post but here I go...

I might sound extremely negative... but you should dump him if he has a preference... im sure it bothers you all the time and it always will...

And if you talked to him about and still feel not happy then just leave... i see no point in staying...

[Ferruccio77]

Work harder!! You think its easy to build muscles? Guys work hard so you can to.

Be glad your bf is not dumping you for someone else cuz deep down he loves you for who you are.
This is what I suggest, both of you work out together even if without a gym. After a month you 2 will look sexy together

[bam191]

NoblesseOblige is completely wrong, just because I guy prefers a certain look or body type, the thing that really counts is someone's personality and quirks. You say you've been together for a year? Why on earth would you think he doesn't like you?

[Asker]

I think he loves me but wishes I had a different body, and I feel like second best to any pretty fit girl that passes by

[THChowder]

You should never feel like you're second best.

[bam191]

The interesting thing about relationships is that the longer you know someone, the less you care about what they look like. If you two are going strong, and you're making improvements, like you said, then there's no reason to think that you're second best. He's sticking around, after all, isn't he? :P

[Asker]

I wish I could think of it like that. I see all the thin girls around and I can't help but think maybe he settled for me because he couldnt get them:/

[bam191]

I guy doesn't settle with someone that he doesn't like. Does he treat you like a girlfriend? Do you have fun and laugh together? If yes, then there is no doubt that he likes you, and he isn't just going to drop you like that.

[Asker]

He does...I guess I need to get over my insecurities.

[Lotusqueen88]

I understand how you feel I'm in the same situation and my boyfriend started working at a bar and the bar tenders wear really revealing clothes and they're allowed to drink on the clock and one of them he says he can't stand bc she's annoying and lazy but the other one he said he thinks is pretty. I hate it that every time he works with her she's not wearing much and he says he never even talks to her and that he doesn't even check her out but I don't believe him. I am not really super over weight but I was when he met me but lm not fit either. The chic he said is pretty does CrossFit. I used to always try to look sexy and always do my hair and makeup but now I feel like why bother bc I'll never look that good

[privatehelp01]

hey i like fit in shape women but my girlfriend is'nt in shape either and i have eyes for only her, he might like them but he also likes you guys can have more than one type remember that okay :)

[Asker]

this is really nice. thank you.

[Lotusqueen88]

Yeah but when you see a girl who is your type don't you check her out and if she came on to you or flirted with you wouldn't you feel like flirting back? My boyfriend works at a bar and the bar tenders wear really revealing clothes and one of them he says is annoying and lazy and the other one he's told me he thinks is pretty. These girls are allowed to drink on the clock and I worry he probably flirts with her and checks her out. Not only that but I used to always keep up with my appearance and lately I feel depressed and I think why bother I'll never be as attractive physically as she is to him. He says he isn't attracted to her and I don't understand why if she's got that body type and he thinks she's got a pretty face then why wouldn't he want her or lust after her. Oh and by the way we barley have sex and the longest we went was the 3 months that he's been working there

[nursejazzy]

I’m going through the same exact thing, and I understand where you’re coming from. It’s easy for people to say “just don’t feel that way” without actually telling you how. It’s very bad for your mental and sometimes physical health if you result to dangerous methods of losing weight. You should never feel like second best by someone who claims they love you (that isn’t love). I would have a honest conversation with him and then if that doesn’t seem to resolve anything then come up with a solution of where to go from there. If you’re anything like how I felt, you shouldn’t want to hide your body around your partner, and feel insecure 24/7 about everything you do, eat, or wear. You should feel confident in the skin you’re in. I’m learning that.

[Bullfish]

Hard to say, but there is also a possibility that he doesn't care for your look that much, because he started to like your personality.I'm just guessing, but best of luck.

[AMoraden]

Why can't he love you for you? Body image does not matter nearly as much as you think. He loves YOU for YOU, not your body. In fact he might also actually like your body as an exception.

[NoblesseOblige]

Probably because you're what he can get.

[Asker]

I figured. Does this mean I should dump him when I do lose the weight back?

[NoblesseOblige]

Well, at that point you can probably do better so...it's up to you.

[twelveangrymen]

Lmao!

[Iron_Man]

Why not just ask him

[Asker]

he already thinks im really insecure so i dont want to bring it up

[Iron_Man]

I tell you everything you want to know in private mail why do you still need to come here? I told you drop the bum. He cheats on you anyway

[Asker]

He does not...

[bunny_luv]

Lol!

[Asker]

And I never talked to you on private? What?

[Iron_Man]

OOPs my bad wrong thread.It looks so much like this one

[Asker]

oh lol

[twelveangrymen]

You are insecure, you badgered him about it. Every women has a different body type but it ia not healthy to be 40lbs overweight.

[twelveangrymen]

Lose some weight and stop moping over your bf. Or use some fucking communication with him. Open your mouth to talk not just for food

[Asker]

you are probably even fatter and lonely...ive seen your posts around and you are literally the dumbest person i've seen here so please go away. you and your 0% MH...

[SaltandVinegar]

Your personality made him fall in love with you?