Casual relationships: why don't they work?

What does it take to make a casual relationship work? Why do they sometimes not work?

I've had a few casual relationships on my life and I feel like the most successful ones never have an actual ending. You're both on the same page and you both just stop trying, even if one person stops before the other. There's no need to talk about it or anything. But I've also had one end horrendously. So in curious to see what other people's thoughts and experiences are with casual relationships.

My thoughts: both parties have to be the same page. Neither of you can take anything personally or too seriously. If someone texts you a few times, don't read into it. If someone ignores your texts a few times, don't read into it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The basic of ANY relationship is compatibility, chemistry, friendship & understanding. Either of these missing in ANY relationship term it what you want, will wither away :)

    If 'casual' relationships are a rebound which most time they are and at times because people don't want to 'commit' etc, they always have undertones of dissatisfaction or fear of earlier situations in their life wherein at least one of them is looking for something else while wiling time filling in the gaps within the 'casual' relationship cause it's available at that point of time.

    Even 'causal' relationships can work for a lifetime and happily if those qualities mentioned above are available both ways :)

    • I feel like the point of getting into a casual relationship is for one of two reasons
      1) you don't see the person as any kind long term partner
      2) you're not looking for a long term partner because of emotional/commitment issues or because of circumstance.

      I feel like if you have all the mentioned traits in your response, then that would make a ''casual" relationship complicated and a struggle to keep it casual, no?

    • The idea of a casual relationship is to have freedom both ways, this is the 1st and last point in it :)

      It has nothing to do with not seeing the other person as a long term partner cause for me a casual relationship can last a lifetime :)

      We are humans and at some point of time even in a casual relationship at least one of us winds up getting emotionally attached which is only human and THAT becomes detrimental to the relationship :)

      I've never had a problem keeping a casual relationship the way it was intended :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't do casual relationships. I'm only interested in friends with benefits or close, deep relationships. They both clearly show how interested I am. Casual relationships are some grey in between that don't really work for me. I don't know how to kind-of love someone. Either I'm going to love you, or I'm going to love having sex with you.

    I just can't do casual. It's too confusing.

  • Unless you have neurological issues, emotions are an eventual given once you get psychical.


What Girls Said 1

  • They seem like a great idea right away, but usually once you're physical with someone, emotions start building. One person ends up wanting more than a casual relationship and then there are problems.