I'm hard to read? a closed book?

[Anonymous]

the guy i've been talking to told me that i'm hard to read and that i'm like a closed book.

i think this is because i'm scared to open up my feelings because i dont want to be judged or scare him away and i've never been fully open with anyone...

anyway what does this mean to you and what can i do to be easier to read i guess or more open?

[Sinister]

This is a rhetorical question. You've basically answered your own question. If are somewhat guarded about opening up and letting out your feelings then OF COURSE the guy is going to say that you're a hard read because he can't seem to get you to open up. To help you out, try asking questions that are open ended and not a yes and no. Meaning try phrasing questions where they will almost HAVE to illicit a well thought out answer to what your question was, this will greatly move the conversations along a lot longer and hopefully smoother where you two can finally find that connection.

[Asker]

Aha thanks this was very helpful :)

[Sinister]

I have other ideas if you want I hope everything works out for you.

[Asker]

yeah i'm open to other ideas lay it on me!

[Asker]

by the way what kind of questions should i ask that are open ended but still fun?

[Sinister]

Here are some I've personally use on dates, getting to know a girl and what not:
Instead of asking what kind of school or jobs she's going for ASK what's his/her passion THEN you can segue into like "oh so then what kind of schooling do you need for that or job prospects? If it is not school or a job and the guy is more of a free spirit, say a artist, what kind of art, music, paint if so then is it abstract, modern, and whatever else.
To illicit those deeper feelings, ask what were you like a child or maybe not too personal what you were like in high school? It makes the person being asked to think about the good times and bring back those feelings because YOU brought them out by asking the great questions. Now for the flipside, if they had a bad experience then show some sympathy and be understanding that not everyone has a great time in high school or in their childhood.

[Sinister]

Another would be to ask questions that may have the other person think for a response for maybe a future ASK what's the craziest thing that you done or even experienced or would like to do. KEEP NOTES for this one because if it is something so doable, maybe later on in the few months you can incorporate that idea for a date, that way there's that bonding moment where the two of you are doing something that is cementing the two of you as a possible couple.
If you could wake up in another part of the world with another culture where would it be?
Do you have any surprise talents that would surprise me? (NOT IMPRESS)
Those are some to try out, and these are tested out by ME when I go on dates or trying engage in conversations with girls I would like to get to know on a more personal level.

[Asker]

thank you!! i used a lot of these on my last date with him and it really helped us to get to know each other on a deeper level

i appreciate your help :)

[Sinister]

pssssshhh baby I know! hahaha you're more than welcomed I'm glad to be of service.

[Mcdaddy]

Just tell him everything you feel won't turn him off, and none of that friendzone crap! I try to help a girl out and fix her problems and now she won't even fucking snuggle with me

[Asker]

but the thing is i've told him everything i've felt towards him, we've been on many dates so I don't know what else i can do to open up

[hswhis]

I also have been told that I am hard to read and that I am a closed book. That's because I rarely share any really personal information. I can tell you I went shopping, I went to cooking class, I think Neiman Marcus is overpriced, etc., but I won't give out information about my family, who I am dating, if I like someone etc.

I've been burned in the past where you give out a little piece of information and it's all over the work grapevine. Hated it and swore I wouldn't let it happen again. I limit my personal information to very few, trusted friends.