Why is he distant after we hang out/not texting anymore?

I've been seeing this guy for about a month. I met him online----his profile said he was looking for a serious relationship. He travels a lot for work so sometimes he is gone for weeks at a time. We've gone out about 4 times, talk on the phone/text a few times a week. Things were going great until a few days ago when he stayed over for the first time----I told him openly I liked him. He smiled and laughed a little bit but didn't say it back. I joked with him and said so I guess you like me too? and he said yes. I texted him when he left that I had fun and I liked learning more about him. Well I haven't heard back---and he has never not texted me back. I'm giving him space for him to respond----what is in his head? Also he never tells me his schedule in advance (we don't make long term plans). He pretty much just tells me hey I'm off work do you want to hang out? But we don't make plans that far ahead of time. He says he's a planner so I don't get it. Thanks!

Any guys have any opinions on this?


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  • Sounds like he is playing games (I asume you have slept together). As soon as you confessed you actually had feelings for him, it seems like he backed out.

    And him just contacting you when his off work, not wanting to make plans with you a head in time, sounds like he might be using you when his feeling lonely.

    I've been there, met a guy online, dated him for 5 months, just to figure out he just enjoyed being around me when he needed sex. I also discovered he had done the samething to a lot of other women he met online. I quickly cut all contact with him.

    Dont contact him, wait a see if he contacts you and if you notice it is the same style his used before, than I would cut him loose, you deserve to be with someone who truly wants you!

    • Thanks---yeah he was so attentive in the beginning and his profile said he wanted a long term relationship with no games---go figure.

    • Meh I know, online dating can be so tricky, course there is sadly many liars out there. :| sorry it seems like you had run into one.

  • You didn't mention when he stayed over if you guys had sex. If you did have sex, he got what he wanted from you. If a man doesn't make plans in advance with you, that means he's not into you. If a guy was REALLY into you, he would go out of his way to make sure that you're available AHEAD of time. It doesn't matter that he travels a lot, etc, he would go OUT OF HIS WAY to call/text you, just so you won't forget about him. It also doesn't matter what he mentioned on his on-line profile. If he acts differently from what he declares on his profile, it means that he's not looking for a relationship with YOU.