Why is he being like this I thought he was different. Why did he lie?

[Anonymous]

Well I was dating this guy and we went out 4 times and then he got a new job and was doing training in Manchester I live in Wales it's like 2 hours away. And the day before he was due to go he ended it told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He told me not to wait for him so I'm not. And then 2 days ago he text me and said I found you on pof (dating site) and then he was asking me if any guys where talking to me and i said a few and he was like and. I said that I was just chatting. And basically I looked at his profile and it says that he's looking for a relationship so why did he lie?

[XRabbitHeartX]

Having been through situations similar to yours, multiple times, when guys use the "I don't want a relationship" card it just means they don't really want one with you. I mean, that didn't stop some guys from my past from getting a girlfriend a few months after saying that line to me. Obviously there are exceptions but if a guy suddenly seems interested, then pulls away and says "Oh but I'm not ready for a relationship" I feel like many times it's just a total cover up and they want to basically keep their options open and leave you on the side line to see if something better comes along... if it doesn't then at least they sort of kept the door open with you. I honestly don't tolerate this type of behavior from men. You either want me or not. There's no "being ready" for a relationship with someone you're in love with in my opinion. What's there to wait for if you have feelings for me supposedly?

Nah girl, move on. He's just trying to keep his options open.

[Asker]

Yh thanks your right i was completely pxxxxd at him just wanted to kill him he new my feelings towards him. I have to see him in two weeks time cause he used to work with me and were all going out for a drink has people Are leaving and he will b there

[Asker]

thanks he is in a relationship now 2 months later and i dont even care i hate him im angry at him for lying he is a complete twat

[vmw2008]

He's being very immature. Basically, he wasn't sure that he wanted a relationship with you, or he was looking for someone closer to where he lives. Just because he has that he's looking for a relationship, doesn't mean he actually is. Lots of guys do this when they're actually just trying to hook up.

That being said, he had no right after breaking things off to ask you about your dating profile. He was being jealous and prying. You should have told him it was none of his business instead of reassuring him that you hadn't gone on a date. If he was that worried about it, he could still be dating you.

Respect yourself and respect your worth. If he doesn't feel you're worth his time, then treat him as such, and find someone who does. You owe him nothing.

[Asker]

Thanks he only lives 20 mins from me. Thankyou tho that makes a lot of sense

[hina_hanta]

For some odd reason I think he's testing the waters with you. He wants to see what he can get away with? It's just a hunch, but IDK. That's what it seems like to me. He seems a bit controlling.

[Dolo13ie]

Move on, Don't waste your time with some one like this. Why complicate your life with someone that is obviously pulling red flags.