My boyfriend slapped me, what Do I do?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I got into an argument the other 'day. I was mad but he was pissed. He started pushing me against a wall and he slapped me.
He left for 20mins but when he came back he was crying and apologizing. I love him and he seemed really sorry, so should I just forgive him?

[CasualFriday]

This is a difficult question to answer. Obviously something like that isn't fine, but it's not as simple as saying he's an abuser. It's possible that he has some area in his life that's causing too much frustration and he took it out on you. The problem is that such behaviour has a way of repeating itself. He may be sincerely sorry, but the question is: will it happen again? Because you love him, there's an emotional bond and it's thus understandable that you forgive him (what is love if you can't forgive?). It's just that love can often blind us from obvious issues that need attention, such as this episode of violence. Many abusive boyfriends always cry after hurting their loved ones, but sadly those tears act as a form of manipulation that binds the victim.

I'm not doubting that he might be sorry, I'm just not to sure he won't do it again. We can't make this choice for you. It's your love and you choose how you forgive and move on. You can risk it and see if it happens again, or you can end it right now (which is understandable). Something that might help in making a decision is by studying his overall character, and not just this one incident. Take a look at these traits and see how he matches up:

1. Is he manipulative?
2. Does he treat you nice the one day and cruel the other?
3. Does he verbally abuse you?
4. Does he emotionally hurt you?
5. Are you always wrong and he's always right?
6. How does he act when you get emotional?
7. Does he have an ego, seem narcissistic, or just plain arrogant?
8. Does he pointlessly flatter you, or do his words seem true and sincere?
9. Is he aggressive about his sexual needs and desires?

See how he matches up to those; and be honest with yourself. Obviously I'm not saying he's a sociopath, but just have a look. This may help in your decision.

And I Don't Approve of Relational Abuse (just for the record)

[Asker]

Umm he's abusive sexually. I'm already not very dominant and he's much bigger and stronger than I am. So when we are doing things he's really rough. Also sometimes Ido feel guilt when I don't do what he wants sexually

[raisingcain]

Those are actually pretty close to the symptoms of an abusive realtionship as defined by professionals. Good job CasualFriday.

[CasualFriday]

You might then want to consider breaking up. It's tempting to try and change a person, but the truth is you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Don't wait until it 's too late. Tthe thing about an abusive relationship is that it's gets more difficult to leave the longer you stay.

I can't make a choice for you, but I'm almost 90% sure you should leave this guy, seeing as he's physically abusive, as we as sexually aggressive and dominant.

You Deserve Better :)

[Roy119]

Men don't hurt the woman they love.
It is as simple as that.

We do loose control over our emotions a lot of times in an argument but our reaction reflects the control we have over our emotions. We might end up shouting at you or maybe even quit the conversation. Hitting your gf is almost the highest limit in the relationship.
It does not mean that he doesn't love you. Maybe he does. But this does not, in any way mean that he will not hit you again or it might not get brutal. If you can make do with the fact that he might continue such behavior in the future and you love him enough to stand that, then you can consider staying back.

However, I suggest that you leave him since it's not a wise decision to put yourself under such emotional and physical pressure. You should not stay with a man who has no control over such situation. This kind of treatment to your partner is classified as domestic violence for married couples.

I suggest you leave him for good.

Hope this helps.
Take care

[AnimosityRae]

He screwed up when he hit you. You can forgive him but you can't just let that slide! Cut him loose! You may argue and say such things at each other but hitting, that was way out of line. Don't let someone break you down any further. He may have been sorry then but it could happen again. :\

[LastGirlScout]

Hell no, don't forgive him. He crossed a line and he can't go back now. The only thing I would suggest is talking to him and seeing if he has done it before, then I'd slap him right back when he was least expecting it, really really hard across his face so he knows how horrible it is.

[zombiebabe]

My ex slapped me too... just slap him back and dump this bastard
media.tumblr.com/.../...line_nb51e7jLlD1t04puq.gif

[the_soho]

This may be a sign. If he hit you when he was mad, there is a very high possibility that he will do so again in your next argument. It's a mental limiter that people have, psychological barriers that stop people doing things against their morals. One you cross this mental line once (like he did with hitting you) it will be easier for you to do it again, and even easier if you actually does it a second time. The line is being pushed back per say, each time you cross it.

This is something you see in any thing like this, stealing for example has the same curve. Once you've stolen one thing it will be easier to steal again.

-3yrs criminal psychology training

[Jonzor]

My motto: If they have done it once, they can do it again. He just proved he has no self control of himself when he becomes emotionally frustrated. So basicly I suggest you leave, as there will always be stressful moments in a relationship and he clearly cannot handle it, so you don't want to get hurt again.

[1NAMDERAJ]

No you shouldn't forgive him and you should break up with him and go live with you parents or other family members or with a friend. Real men don't hit women your bf isn't a real man he's a child because only a child would do something like that. My advise to you is get away from him as far as you can so you don't become a victim of domestic violence with you ending up dead because he could kill you the next time he's pissed off.

[Asker]

But it's hard. I love him and honestly don't want to leave. He's really nice and hasn't ever done this before

[1NAMDERAJ]

If he was truly really nice he wouldn't have hit you in the first place now would he.

[PrettyBama]

it depends on how bad it hurt and if you think he'd do it again.

[croxy]

You slap him twice as hard back. If he is capable of understanding why you did that without getting mad, I guess you could treat it as a 1 time thing.

[DLofgren]

Get out of that relationship before it gets any worse.
Know that none of this is your fault.

[JackSk3llington]

Well, if he did it once. He will do it again. Sad truth.

[Rosey123_]

No mistakes happen

[Theguyoverthere]

I personally see that as a dealbreaker.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You break up immediately.

[CuriousCatbug]

leave him, go to family or friends, and leave him

[abundantlyrich]

Give him a nice kung pow kick

[kambo_trick3y]

Love it XD

[_jxycee_]

Break up with him. Now.

[Iron_Man]

Yes give him a chance

[Anonymous]

Get the fuck out of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

LEAVE him DIRECTLY