My boyfriend slapped me involuntarily, what do I do?

[milli97]

Last week I was with my boyfriend at my boyfriend’s house and after we watched a movie I was sitting on a chair and he was standing in front of me in his boxer. He turned around and as a joke I pulled down his underwear, when I knew he hateted. He turned around and he slapped me really hard in the face. I was shocked and I started crying. He tried to defuse saying it was a joke and it wasn’t even that hard. I was in such a shock that then I wasn’t even able to talk. I left the room and I went in the back yard to think while he was talking a shower. He then came to me ‘crying’ and he told me he was really sorry and he didn’t mean it. He really did apologise but now I’m kinda scared. Also because he keeps on saying he really didn't want to do it, it was an impulse, and that's what scares me, what if one day I really piss him off and he hits me again?

[GrantS]

Well you did something that "I knew he hated" ( precisely what you said) hitting may have been a bit far but you he hated it so why'd you do it.

Technically you caused the chain of events to unfold.
As in what do you do

Relationships don't work the way the do in to and movies, will they won't they and they finally do and they're happy forever, give me a break. 9 out 10 of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with and half of all those who get married get divorced anyway. And I'm telling you right now through all this stuff I haven't become a cynic, I haven't. Yes I do believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and in some cultures a... chicken. You can call me a sucker I don't care, but it's couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everyone else but they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up for that relationship every time if it's right, and they're real lucky. One of them will say something.

[milli97]

I knew he didn't like it but I never thought he could slap me for it.

[SovereignessofVamps]

I think she should just leave him. he could've reacted in so many other ways.

[Maxemeister]

Yeah uh u pull someone's pants down you're gonna get a reaction. It's a reflex, not a choice of his. It's like sneaking up on someone and they defend themselves. Actually that's exactly what happened.

Life advice: Don't meddle in something u can't wrestle to the ground

cdn-enterprise.discourse.org/.../...3bbe521e65.jpg

[RJGraveyTrain]

Yeah he didn't hit you involuntarily. No one involuntarily makes a gesture like that without some kind of outside intervention.

He hit you, he made the decision to hit you in retaliation of what you did to him. Where you go from here is up to you, but often such behavior can be a prelude to worse things so I say approach this with an extra air of caution.

[milli97]

so what do I do?

[RJGraveyTrain]

It's hard to say, part of me would leave him immediately, but there's also a part of me that would wait to see if this behavior hinted at becoming typical. Seeing how young you are and how he tried to deny and justify it however, I'd say breaking up with him is your best bet, but if you choose not to do that, you need to make it clear to him that you won't tolerate another violent outburst like that, regardless of if he feels it's "accidental" or "joking."

[Spermdumster666]

bit of an over reaction maybe

[fauchelevent]

To me, it does sound like something involuntary, a reaction to what you did to him that he didn't know was going to happen. It doesn't sound to me like he meant to do it. Your choice though, but it might be best not to do something to your partner that you know that hate.

[venatrici]

You don't 'involuntarily' slap someone. And you certainly don't apologise by saying it wasn't even that hard. Its your decision but sounds like this could be a warning of what could happen.

[Spermdumster666]

this is what happens when practical jokes and horseplay get taking to far someone ends up crying. I suggest you grow up and get over it.

[FallOutBoy2001]

I would stay. I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but you prompted it and the blame fell on you. You said you knew he hated it, did it anyway, and suffered the consequences.

"He tried to defuse saying it was a joke and it wasn’t even that hard." Yeah, cause he probably didn't realize how hard it was until he genuinely saw how bad he'd hurt you. He then came to you to apologize.

I've been in a similar position. My brother jump-scares me often, and once or twice I've slapped him because he startled me incredibly badly and I tried to defend myself from this "threat."

In short, there is no way in hell I'm getting MHO but you needed to see this

[AleDeEurope]

Sounds like you gotta do some dumping.
That wasn't involuntary, he slapped you because you pulled down his boxers, he knew what he was doing.
What's next, an involuntary punch?
Break up with him, you don't need someone that gets violent every time you do something that bothers him.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Miss... I think you need to understand the difference between violence with intent and violence without.
1) means he genuinly wants to hurt you
2) and the other means it was a mistake and accident.
If i heard my girlfriend was scared of me because i accidentally hit her i would find it grounds for break up.

[RJGraveyTrain]

But this situation doesn't sound like it was accidental in my opinion. The way she described it, he turned around and straight up bitch slapped her in the face for pulling his pants down.

It isn't like she startled him and he hit her in a fear response. He even went as far as to say it was a "joke slap", which hardly seems like he is implying it was ever accidental, it clearly had intent.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

@RJGraveyTrain dammit. misread.
Hmm nvmd asker. Don't listen to me.
Listen to someone who can actually eningelish.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Loooooool.

[IsraelJordan]

Forgive and move on, if it was only a one time thing and he was really sorry then it's fine, everyone makes mistakes when they lash out in anger. If its a repeating thing though, you should leave or get some counseling with him

[FakeName123]

Is there any history of him having shown violent behaviour? If yes, then this can be a red flag. If not, then maybe he just wanted to give you a light "joking" slap and kinda messed up moving too hard.

[milli97]

we always joke and push each other around and he never ever touched me in such a way , but I felt like this time he didn't care, and if I would have reacted differently he wouldn't even apologise.

[FakeName123]

Do you feel that way because of the shock itself or in actuality. That's the key question you need to answer yourself.

[milli97]

I guess it is the shock.. so what do I do?

[FakeName123]

For now calm yourself. Take a bit a handful of days of to calm down. Right now it seems you are too agitated to think to clearly. Once you have calmed down, look at things again and ask yourself the question again if he really reacted differently than usually.

Additionally of course this destroyed some trust and you have to pay attention to him in the future and see if there arepossibly any red flags for violent behaviour of this really was just some accident.

[ShaeNielson]

I think it was more like when you're shocked and you lash out, it's an impulse and not something you even think about

[Spermdumster666]

exactly. if he meant it he would have hit you a few times

[Anonymous]

Wtf? That's some bs excuse. That's abuse. Just cause he "cried" and apologize that doesn't mean it won't happen again.

[Winter_Storm_Guy]

Hun, no guy should lay a hand or slap any girl we all know that's wrong.
Any girl could play around with me and I'm not going to do anything
Even my third cousin hugged me extremely tight i hugged her back
but never freaked out.

[ClumsyAngel]

You did do something he HATED. There is disliking something and HATING, don't do that. Learn from this if you want to stay with this guy.. I say IF

[milli97]

As I said, I knew he didn't like it but i never thought at the point of hiitting me

[FrenchyRomain]

Not going to defend what he did, but why THE FUCK do you do things he hate?

[Dog19]

If the roles were switched you be back lashed in the comments

[Anonymous]

wait, he slapped you with his hand because you got mad because he pulled down his boxers and flashed you?

[Popo21]

How long were you with him for

[milli97]

5 months

[Popo21]

I would be upset tbh you were just joking

[Autumn-Bunny]

It wasn't an accident

[Spermdumster666]

try sneaking up behind someone and tickling them you might get elbowed in the face.

[Autumn-Bunny]

@Spermdumster666 I've done it before Lol it was accident but if he saw her pulling his shorts down and slapped her then it wasn't an accident

[Spermdumster666]

thats not what she said. sounds like she got the back of his hand.

[Fuentes]

Well now u know he's abusive so leave or be beaten

[Anonymous]

You should dump him