From loser to player, how did you guys do it?

[Anonymous]

3-4 years ago, I was a loser. Overweight, smart/nerdy, and afraid to ask out girls. I only asked out two girls, my best friend rejected me and the other became my girlfriend for 2 years. She said I was a very good boyfriend and we only broke up due to distance in colleges we went to. I am STILL a virgin though. Girls teased for being overweight, awkward. I was couple of them faked liking me to reject me harshly as a joke. I was determined to prove them wrong after that, and started working out.

I'm in medical school now, I've lost 40 pounds, have a six pack, bought a new wardrobe of stylish clothing, worked on interacting with girls better. I want to go on a spree of being a player. I used to want just a long term relationship, but after seeing my friends be players and have so much control over the girls they see, I want a taste of that.

How can I get comfortable with asking girls out and becoming a player?

[DhruvSinghania]

Don't do that! I believe that's gross.. You can't just have fun with feelings.. i understand that you went through it but that doesn't mean you make others face it too.. Girls aren't material to have fun and leave.. they are equal to guys.. at least respect them.. i know you faced bad things but all fingers aren't same.. because you had a bad past that doesn't mean you make other's present and future near that..
This might sound like crap to you if you aren't willing to accept it but believe me the things which u wanna do is not gonna fetch you anything other than a cool dude status with a bunch of you're friends..
Just sit at a place and think.. Is someone's life more important or that cool dude status which is gonna stay for probably a few months or a year maybe..
(no offence with you, if you find this irrelevant to you then you could ignore it, Good luck, take care)

[SuperNurse42]

Being a "player" isn't all what it's hyped up to be. You are constantly lying and deceiving and women will hate you for it because eventually you will hurt them. It's not as fun as you think, especially if you are the type that forms attachments with people easily.

That doesn't mean you can't have complete control over the women you see. What you need to do is recognize your own value. Realize that EVERYTHING you do and say has value simply because it comes from you. Talk to every girl you encounter (even the ones you have no attraction to) just for the sake of a good conversation. You don't have to mislead them, but just learn to be comfortable in a woman's presence. When you run into a woman you desire, you will have the confidence that shows you are well worth her time and attention. Your attitude is everything.

[Asker]

I don't know the lifestyle sounds much better than I currently have going. Besides I would be using the new persona for one night stands, would not make the girl think I'd give her a relationship and lie to her.

[SuperNurse42]

I won't blame you for wanting to try that lifestyle out, but to be honest it's not always easy to find decent/classy girls that are just down for one night stands. A lot of the times you have to make them feel like you're in it for more than that when you really aren't. That's where the lying comes in. You can talk to multiple girls, be confident/charismatic, and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Usually, girls have to fall in love with you to let you in their pants. Sure you have your typical bar sluts that are easy, but banging those types of girls doesn't make you a player. Being a player means making good women (plural) think you two are in love, just so you can have sex.

[Anonymous]

This is the problem with the destructive circle of playing people. You get played, your trust is broken, so you go and do it to someone else, who in turns does it to another nice guy and so on and so on. How about we just be honest. If you want sex, be upfront with the girl. If you want a relationship, be upfront as well. The reason people get hurt by players is because they are lied to. And people who lie for p*ssy or d*ck is sad and pathetic.

[SuitAndTie]

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Instead of looking forward to harming people who personally did nothing to you, how about looking for some fun? Players get oddly caught up in needing other people's validation as much as losers.

Just go out, be honest and look for girls who aren't looking for anything seriously. The medical field is a great place to meet busy, logically minded people who need a good romp for stress relief.

[Asker]

This isn't as easy as it sounds. Also most girls here are going for the confident asshole so emulating them sounds like a good idea

[Opinion Owner]

You can be confident and bold without being an asshole. Don't get confused.

[523206720]

Don't be a player!!! that is wrong. You are a medical student so most people probably assume you are a good person who wants to help others. Do you plan on destroying that by becoming the jerk who sleeps around and breaks woman's hearts? Do something noble with your life - practice medicine and marry a woman who blows you away. END OF STORE.

[Asker]

There was a time I was very sensitive to people's feelings, but then again got messed up because of it. If the girl I'd marry ended up dating/having sex with a bunch of players anyway why don't I make it a bit more even?

[523206720]

AS a doctor you have tons of girls chasing after you and can chose one that does not have a high number of partners. Also beware of karma - bad things happen to people who do this.

[HikerDude]

Why is okay for a girl to play the field and have sex with numerous guys, but when a guy does likewise he's a horrible jerk? The more I interact with women the more I realize that y'all want things all your way.

[HikerDude]

Learn to lie. Being a player is all about manipulation, and the most successful players become downright con artists. I understand why you want to do this. I was fat all through high school and recently lost 80 pounds, so I'm now in the mindset of wanting to have the social experiences that were denied to me all through high school and part of college. I think all fat guys go through a period like this after they lose weight. It feels good to finally not be a social outcast and to have the upper hand in some of these interactions.

[Virtual_Killer]

Watch WWE and look like those guys. Be in love with yourself first of all.

[Anonymous]

Hit on lots of women. Its really that simple.

[Bysshe]

No technique to that...

[Opinion Owner]

Also if you really want to rack up the numbers its important to have very realistic (ie somewhat low) standards. Usually for casual sex the man is more attractive than the girl, since there is an imbalance in the amount of each gender looking for casual sex.

[Opinion Owner]

@Bysshe
Lol. You don't need a technique to find people to have sex with.

[Bysshe]

They way you hit on them is going to affect your success rate, that's what I mean by technique.

[Opinion Owner]

@Bysshe
Not really. Since most of whether they will sleep with you is based on their availability and whether they find you physically attractive. Even if a technique could improve your success rate by a few percent, it would be a waste of time learning it, you could just use that time to hit on more women. Fuck wasting time trying to convince women who might sleep with you to do it, just find the ones that will sleep with you.

[Asker]

This is what I'm needing help with, you could imagine the pain/shame I have hungover from high school, and don't know how to get the ball rolling in terms of asking out girls coldly