My boyfriend's snapchatting another girl?

[laylaybaybay]

A couple weeks ago, my boyfriend started snapchatting this girl, she ended up being on his "best friend" list. I was a little suspicious so I asked him about it. We got into a fight and he finally said, fine I will block her. Not really sure if he actually did but I was convinced.
I recently looked at his "best friend" list and it had her name on the bottom. I'm not sure what to do, I don't wanna be that crazy girlfriend who yells at him all the time. He lied to me and I'm upset about it. Help

[Anonymous]

It's not physical cheating but it is emotional. boyfriend and I just got into a fight about this for the 3rd time. He doesn't seem to understand that when you're in a relationship (and he says he wants to marry me) he can't have secret friends that I don't know. That's not how that works. He actively hid her snaps from me, and the OKCupid (when we'd been living together a month), saying that it was to find more smoking buddies, but no one ever came over to the house. Though I know he'd never sleep with someone else, he doesn't understand that when a girl only send you "cute" pictures of herself and not silly, or of funny moments in her life, and it's not on her story, only PERSONALLY sent to him, that it's cheating. But after talking to a friend of mine, I calmly told my boyfriend what I needed in the relationship, asked what he needed, and if they don't match up or we can't come to a compromise, I need to be, and am, strong enough to leave. Hopefully it won't come to that, but be confident in who you are, and if this one doesn't work out, another will. Chin up, Stay Strong.

[RandomGuy1030]

Leaving isn't strength its insecurity

[TommyMountainFigure]

@RandomGuy1030 I disagree. You have it the wrong way around. It takes strength to leave, but only insecure people would stay and put up with being disrespected and lied to.

[sodar]

There could be a few reasons why your boyfriend is snapchatting another girl. Maybe they're just friends and there's nothing romantic or sexual going on. Or, maybe he's trying to cheat on you and is using snapchat as a way to communicate with her without you knowing.

If you're suspicious of your boyfriend's behavior, it's important to talk to him about it. Ask him why he's snapchatting this other girl and see what he says. If he's not forthcoming with information or gets defensive, that could be a sign that he's hiding something.

At the end of the day, you'll need to decide whether or not you trust your boyfriend. If you don't trust him, it might be time to move on. But if you think he's a good guy who just made a mistake, you can give him another chance.

[BestofMe14]

I had this problem with my boyfriend too. I looked through his phone and saw he was also talking to other girls on Facebook, so I made him deactivate it and get rid of Snapchat and change his ways or I wasn't going to be with him anymore because I didn't need that drama crap in my life. If you asking him about it started a fight, then you need to consider the possibilities of why. My boyfriend deactivated his snapchat without even questioning it and if your boyfriend cared about how you felt, then he'd do the same thing without putting up a fight. If he wasn't doing things he know he shouldn't be doing, then you wouldn't have to question him to begin with. Tell him to block her or get rid of Snapchat completely; you don't need that bs he's creating.

[laylaybaybay]

Thank you!

[WesTheGuru]

If you have to convince your boyfriend to be faithful then he's gonna cheat on you the fist chance that he thinks he can get away with it. Deactivating Facebook isn't going to stop him. he's just gonna find ways around it and delete his texts so you never find out.

[BestofMe14]

I didn't have to convince him though. I told him if being in a relationship with me is what he wants, then he needs to rebuild that trust we had before and in order to do that, I wanted him to get rid of Snapchat. I gave him the option of being with me or being the single man he was beginning to act like. Him deactivating Facebook was his own choice, I didn't have to ask him to do that. I only asked him to remove Snapchat in addition to his decision to get rid of Facebook and he did with no questions asked.

[WesTheGuru]

He was talking to girls on Facebook with the intention of cheating on you, correct? He was snap chatting other girls because he was trying to hook up with them while he was with you, correct? Do you not consider saying "Do this or else" a form of convincing?

Any guy that talks to other girls with the intention of cheating on you is a guy that will find ways around whatever rules you set. I hope for your sake he has changed, but as a guy, I am pretty certain he's just found a new way around it.

[BestofMe14]

Who said anything about cheating or hooking up with anyone? I said he was talking to other girls and I didn't like that I saw he sent a flirty message to one, who was also the same girl he was snapchatting. And no, I don't consider giving him options a form of convincing. He had a choice and he made one and I wasn't threatening about it at all. In no way did I ever say, "delete Facebook/Snapchat otherwise I'm done with you." No, I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and if he did, then he needed to make some changes so that he could rebuild the trust that he lost.

[WesTheGuru]

If you don't believe he had the intention of cheating, then why would you tell him to make changes and say that trust was broken? If you honestly believe that he had no intention of cheating, then it is wrong for you to ask him to "make changes and rebuild trust". If that was truly the case, then you forced your boyfriend to cut off a friend for no reason which is wrong.

Any way you spin this, any time you ask your boyfriend to make changes because of a girl, you felt threatened, and there is an idea that he will cheat on you with her. If you seriously fear he will cheat on you, your relationship might as well be over.

[BestofMe14]

I never had a fear of him cheating on a bigger level where he was sleeping with someone else, kissing someone else, or going on dates with someone else given the circumstances of the situation, but what bothered me is that he didn't tell me and that he did a little flirting. I said that he needed to make changes and rebuild trust if he wanted to be with me because, yeah, I didn't trust him after that. But that's because I told him from day one that I didn't think it was okay to flirt with another person when you're in a relationship with someone already. That's where the trust was lost.

When you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be flirting with someone outside of the relationship. I, at least personally, consider flirting a minor form of cheating. If this girl was just his friend, he wouldn't have sent her a single flirty message.

[0neside]

Why are you upset that he's snap chatting with another girl? Don't you have guy friends you regularly talk to? I had two other guys on my snap list while dating my boyfriend and it was entirely platonic. You are dating him, yes, but you cannot be insecure of girls he talks to when in reality it's probably not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

It is not a battle to fight at such a young age. You can breack up with him and move on. He is only a boyfriend and you have a woman life to develop

[WesTheGuru]

'I don't want to be that crazy girlfriend". You're being that crazy girlfriend by telling him to block someone you don't even know on snapchat.

Think about it this way: if he really was cheating on you with this girl, would blocking her on snapchat stop that? The answer is no.

[laylaybaybay]

I didn't tell him to block her though

[WesTheGuru]

But why are you upset about it in the first place?

Any guy that you have to convince to be faithful is someone who will cheat on you. If you're worried something is gonna happen because he's snap chatting other girls then you don't trust him at all.

You need to think about this and clearly understand whether it is you overthinking things or he's someone who you can't trust.

[laylaybaybay]

Honestly, it's both. A situation like this has happened before and it makes me over think about situations with girls. I guess I have to say, I don't trust him as much as I'd like.

[WesTheGuru]

Never in a relationship should you have to say "Hey don't cheat on me". If you ever feel like in your head "I hope he doesn't cheat on me with her" then you need to leave. That's not a relationship, you're just his consistent girl while he looks for new girls on the side.

Unless you're ok with that, leave.

[laylaybaybay]

So you're saying he's most likely cheating on me?

[WesTheGuru]

You said something similar happened in the past. Either you overreacted in the past or he was cheating on you before. If he was cheating on you, and the same thing is happening again, then yes, he is probably cheating on you again.

If he gets away with it once, why stop?

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

you're both young yet i think your mature than he is and he won't say the truth
i like to say he blocked her on Snapchat but you know that App is breeding place
for pedophiles as much as i don't want tell you it is

[crossdressingrihno]

There isn't enough evidence in this post for me to say he's cheating
Especially since I happen to have female friends who I am not romantically interested in I have a few actually

If he's never cheated on you before and you have no reason to believe he cheated on you before this then the likelihood of this being him cheating is unlikely and it's more likely that he just told you that because you were invading his privacy and making in a mountain out of a molehill and in which case you should break up with him not because of what he did but because if you don't feel like trusting him then there's no real point in the relationship in the first place because relationships are largely about trust

If he has cheated on you before or you have good evidence to believe he might have cheated before then yeah he might be cheating on you I won't say he's definitely cheating on you but he might be if so just break up with him


Either way you should break up with him so just do it I guess

[Singing_Hollow]

Firstly, if you have to make your man block a girl then he doesn't want to and will find other means to talk to her. Its Reg flags already if he doesn't see a problem with what he is doing. Its wrong, period and ofcouse he is going to make you feel like the controlling insecure girlfriend but if thats the case then id drop him. We women dont have that 'gut' feeling for nothing, act on it!

[jasco]

I mean honestly their friends. If he told her he's taken than you don't have anything to worry about. You should have ask him if she knows your in a relationship so she won't get any ideas. Instead you choose to make him block someone that he like and even had a fight about it. Than you look threw his phone and found out he lied to you. So either he his trying to cheat or maybe he just wants to be friends. I don't know but honestly more than likely he just wanted to be friends

[TommyMountainFigure]

He lied to you about her and he has no respect for you, therefore the only advice I can offer you is either split up with him or let him talk to whoever he wants.
I don't see any common ground with which to work with otherwise.

[ahriz]

Most men who do that end up having affairs. You're better of leaving him

[ODC2112]

Have sex with him more, he will not snapchatting anyone...

[SignedAutographs]

So does this prove that guys and girks can't be "just friends" then?

[Beerluvr]

Well if you think he is looking for sec elsewhere then you need to move on.

[Happ6]

Is it Snapchat or Snapsex? Cause that's what my boyfriend was doing.

[EdwinLivingston_]

Add a guy on your Snapchat and show him.

[Iron_Man]

Keep an eye out on him

[Iron_Man]

I see that this is a very old question and you’re no longer active anyway

[KingofCups]

Wow a real modern day tragedy 😢

[RandomGuy1030]

Be happy you have a boyfriend

[Kayla45]

Dump him.

[In_Trance]

Dump him