We've been dating for nearly 3 months. Everything was going smoothly and showed great promise until a few weeks ago. I began to nitpick her behavior, constantly questioning why should would or wouldn't do something. I took it too far admittedly. I'm self conscious. Anyway, she recently (2 weeks now) began snapchatting this other guy frequently. He's her coworker, handsome dude with a career path, something I don't have because I'm just confused on what to do with my life. He is now her top friend and its bothering me. I've expressed it to her and she told they're just friends and they just snap "jokingly." but every time I check her score, it leaps anywhere from 30-60. I check every few hours. And her bestfriends remain the same, so I'm pretty sure its this guy. I realize my behavior might have pushed her to do this but I'm afraid she's getting closer to him everyday. she's definiitely putting more effort into contacting him than me. What should I think or do? I'm not freaking out, just concerned. Maybe more than I should be.
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You never should be spending more time contacting and chatting someone other than your boy- or girlfriend, so that is what is most suspicious. Have you met this uy? If you haven't, that's also a bad sign and an indication something is up.
Talk to her about it, though. Maybe there are some things in the relationship you can fix as a result of the conversation.70
*plays Chris Brown - Loyal*
Doesn't sound good, my dude. Get yourself a girl who respects and appreciates you.150
As wise as I am, and knowing relationships as Much as I do, I am Quite sure you are------Right in your assumptions. She is with you, 'Snap, crack and popping' with this fancy pants dude with the duds and fabby future, and she's supposedly with----You? Just Who is the boyfriend here, I am asking?
She is being unfair, making you look like yesterday's wash, Airing her dirty laundry with this dude on and off the job. I don't like it, you hate it and I am sure we Both Suspect something is getting too cozy for comfort here.
Have a serious convo with her ASAP! I am positive you have, but apparently Not enough to stop the beguine they have begun. And if she is putting concerted Caring into 'Contacting him' more than you, than God only knows what is next After hours... If you stand for This, you'll stoop for any other poop they throw your way. Put an end to your Madness.
If she gives you the attitude that you're being a silly Billy, give her a choice or give her her walking papers... Before she does it to you.
Good luck. xx114
I would affirm your trust in her. It's kind of like the point of the honor pledge before tests. Telling her you trust makes her more likely to act in a trustworthy manner than she is if you try to control her. Also possibly work on your self confidence issues. If she's with you, she wants to be with you! She chose you, not this other dude. It's healthy for both of you to have your own friends. As far as your relationship, you could express rhat you're feeling distant from her and ask if together as a couple you could both make an effort to connect more. That's totally reasonable. Asking her to stop having male friends is not.57
What Girls & Guys Said
From personal experience, Snapchat is one of the worst social media apps. It’s the main app cheaters like to use since the conversations get deleted after opening.
Before assuming or making matters worse because you most definitely pushed her away, I would calmly go to her, be honest and open.
“Did I mess up or push you away? Did I make you feel differently towards me and how can I fix it?”
“I would feel more comfortable or appreciated if I am able to just see your messages with him a few times so I can feel reassured about your friendship with this dude. I would just love for us to be able to be open and transparent with each other to keep this relationship healthy if this is what we both still want.”
I wish I would have known when my boyfriend became friends with this good looking girl he met at his work. He was always open with me about his friends and I even had friendships with most of the girls so I had full trust in him. Never stalked his social medias or even thought about looking in his phone. Even when he started not coming home at night.. I still gave him the benefit of the doubt because we have had tons of conversations about cheating and he was cheated in the past so I thought he would never put me through that betrayal. But he did. And I finally went to go look through his phone when he stopped having sex with me (which he was a sex addict) but made it seem like having sex while I was pregnant weirded him out, started treating me like garbage, and women just have that gut feeling (I just choose to ignore it for a long time, even though when he would come home after not coming home I can just feel a weird energy on him.. like he was dirty/filthy sexually) and I found out after I had given birth to his babies (which he begged for while cheating!)
You truly can never think someone wouldn’t betray you like that. But usually there are signs they are. They project (accuse you of what they are doing), start treating you a certain way, or starting fights all the time. Not given you the same amount of attention or not wanting sex when you know it’s out of character for them. And being very secretive with their phone.0
Lot of good comments here already. You made her feel insecure about relationship (clock ticking, need security, and sense of life plan...) with you and so she bolted fast to have option #2, probably keeping you until she has that one locked up. You are insecure for good reason in this case and so she should ideally stop communicating with him if she stayed with you, but she won't... he's her supply of feel good since the nitpick challenged her behavior and she ran emotionally to him. It's a female, and she may be immature, but I also wonder what drove you to nitpick? Anyway, It's her character flaw or she isn't all in this (all of 3 months..) and you'll have to backtrack and figure out if you can deal with her regardless of how this goes. Want to win her back for now, why not try?
I'd sit down and talk as someone @Ellieeexxx suggested and ask if you hurt her feelings (pause), convey you want her to come to you to have fun and remind her of how it can be and the amazing things you can experience together, apologize if you hurt her. Try to be positive about her and loving but devalue the other guy, you don't trust him, he's a player, douchbag, whatever. But you support her and let her know you are her man. If you are ok with them communicating, then just state that she share what they are talking about and only meet if you are with her, that is perfectly reasonable and same goes for you. If you aren't ok tell her to cut him off. It's either a great opportunity to work through relationship stuff and strengthen it or you'll get a clear sense of the headaches ahead with this one.0
This happened with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. He was getting closer to this one girl and kept messaging her all the time through Snapchat and even text. She was his number 1 best friend on there. I talked to him on Snapchat but not as much as he did with her... Honestly I kept asking him babe who is this and he would just tell me oh it's just a girl in his class and not make it into a big deal. But it concerned me since they were talking EVERY DAY. He would never open his snaps from her in front of me... and sometimes I feel he ignored me to answer her and his other friends. I felt really hurt and not that special to him. I was about to breakup with him (not exactly because of those reasons) but because I just never felt like a priority to him. But then we still ended up together. He introduced me to all of his new friends I didn't meet (this included that girl) and I was like WOW. I can't believe I was jealous over this after seeing the way they talked with each other. Like brother and sister. My point is: As long as she is somewhat including you in her life with her friends (like introducing you to them... or even saying haha look at this funny picture they sent me) to assure you that it's nothing just a good friendship then she is TRUSTWORTHY. My boyfriend didn't do that at first but did eventually at the end when I was going to dump him lol and he somewhat put it in his head that he wasn't letting me in 100% in his life. Now that girl isn't even his #1 BFF on snapchat. Now it's another girl. I think coworker. Not really jealous about it though because he literally tells me what they talk about and he's very open to me about showing me what she looks like and what she sends him, etc. Honestly I'm no longer jealous as all anymore and I have no reason to be :) So just ask yourself: Is she letting me in 100% her life, including her friends?21
You are freaking out, checking her SM every few hours, that's Cyberstalking. If someone treated you the way you treated her would you be eager to contact that person? I personally would've does your loser ass, but she either cares about you or has low self-esteem. If you are truly remorseful about how you treated her, then you need to go to all lengths to show and apologize. Instead of accusing her of anything, you should be begging her for forgiveness!!!
You may also want to think about your future and stop whining about those who actually have a future!!!0
I don't know your gf's character so I can't say blanketly. Most likely there is some flirtation going on over snap. How serious? No way to know. If they had a sexual history that's a factor. If she had a crush on him for a long time and nothing happened that's a factor. But ultimately as long as she hasn't cheated this one thing does not matter.
What you need to do is take the focus off this other guy and put it on yourself. If the one and only thing you do is make sure your girl feels amazing when you're around this issue will go away entirely. She only indulges (assuming flirtation) because of how he makes her feel.
Ultimately you can't control how he makes her feel. So focusing on him on her snap is focusing on something that can't help you, won't help you and something you have zero control over. While it you focus on how you make her feel when you're around you have 100% control over that. If your girl doesn't miss you when you're not around then you fucked up.0
Dude it sounds like you aren't ready for a relationship. If you are convinced that your behaviour is what has caused this (guaranteed that there is more to it than that) then you already know that you aren't ready for the stresses of a relationship. Your best bet is to keep an eye on her interactions with this guy (subtly and don't let her find out) and if it genuinely looks she is gonna leave you for this guy then beat her to it and ditch her ass; at least you will have the moral victory. Of course you should work on your own issues but we all know that just saying that doesn't make it easy10
I think it could honestly be harmless. It’s possible to have a platonic relationship with a person of the opposite gender. I don’t mind my boyfriend talking to other girls, since I trust him not to do anything inappropriate. I would however mind very much if he went through my phone, that’s just an invasion of privacy.40
Don’t let your insecurities allow you to erode your boundaries. Don’t take a back seat. I’ve been in this position. Be a man, and take charge of the situation without fear of being perceived as controlling. Say that this is making you uncomfortable and this is crossing a personal boundary you have. Say you find this to be inappropriate behavior, and she needs to cut it or she needs to find a new boyfriend. While you might be scared, you need to protect yourself and establish boundaries or you might be burned. You’re a high value man, so act like it. Does a high value man spend time worrying about his girlfriends whereabouts? He should be focusing on his mission in life. Her behavior is getting in the way. This girl shouldn’t be putting you in this position. Establish your boundaries or get rekt10
I'm concerned that you're not freaking out. I would communicate with her. Tell her you feel jealous, and although you can't tell her who she can and can't talk to, this makes you feel uneasy. The key to this having a chance to work is the three C's. Stay Calm, Cool, and Collected. Not even a hint of anger (or desperation).
This also wouldn't be a bad time to apologize for your previous behavior. Keep in mind it sounds like she already has one foot out the door. Remember, there's nothing wrong with having feelings of jealousy. That's how you know someone is important to you. It's how you deal with that jealousy that will decide your fate. I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you're at a crossroads. Be prepared for her to break up with you. But if you do nothing, be prepared for her to break up with you.0
bro I was with a divorced girl she want to marry me. She start talking to my brother on call at night. She didn't gave me time. I told my brother about it about not giving me time as she talk to u. He said what I can do with this she talk to me. I stop her but she said are u jealous about it. She moved from me n now our relationship finish. Well your on the same boat like my relationship was also for 3 month. You should not contact her. If she contact you then tell her that your not doing the good to u. If you really want relationship then u have to know me well without giving time to others. If she is okay with u then best for u. If not then move from her get a nice girl. If you go more with her then really your hurting yourself10
Ugh! I can't stand jealous and insecure guys, especially this early on. Trust her or don't. If she wanted to be with him she would be with him and not you. If she's not cheating on you, you being so ridiculous about everything probably will gear her towards ending your relationship.35
don't spend your time/effort checking her snapchat score, spend your time/effort making her realize why she can't live without you. Be kind, compliment her, take her out, tell her why you like her, hold her hand, show her off in public, and freaking give her the benefit of the doubt! If she decides she likes him better, she'll dump you. Until then she's still choosing you over him. Save it before it's too late!30
In less than a week of leaving to visit some family I was cheated on with a girl he literally just met so at least that's not the case for you I mean I have a lot of guy friends as they are the only ones who actually talk to me but one thing is how is her behavior there's certain things that can prove that the guy really is just a friend or if it might be a little bit more than that10
This is a bad sign. I don't see this working out or ending well.
If this is making you uncomfortable and she is comfortable with your discomfort, I would kick her to the curb and let them get on with it.
Any girl that lets a guy suffer isn't worth it and I this interaction doesn't sound innocent. Her actions express her priorities.10
If you’re feeling a bit neglected / disrespected or whatever it is, it’s normal. Those are your feelings and don’t ever question it. If you feel something is not right then you need to address it. If she does not respect your concerns then honey it’s too early for childish games like that. If she’s not ready for a relationship don’t wait for another 3 months to pass. Cut it.20
#1 Chill out- because if she is still interested in u she would not cheat okay
#2 If you want to be equal with her and let she feels how u feel -Just do what she is doing and find a beautiful girl at least and constantly snapping her or texting her and say that she is your best female friend to "turn tables."
#3 If it goes too far - Just stop asking her about it... then maybe she would wonder why u ain't asking about it anymore and start getting concerned20
Of course you are freaking out, you sound extremely neurotic and insecure as well as anal-retentive. If you are questioning whether or not you pushed her into the arms of this guy she works with, it's probably already too late. Just break up with the chick and remember not to repeat the same behavior with your new relationship and definitely don't let your next girlfriend chat with guy friends or hang out with them alone either.0
Some things just can't be undone. Getting that critical with her, especially that early oin the relationship, has sent her looking elsewhere and she will eventually dump you for him or maybe someone else. Learn some lessons from this experience and it won't be a total loss0
I would have a problem with my girl having an ongoing convo with anyone when we're spending time, nevertheless a dude. Even if you're watching TV together, that's time together that she's choosing to spend on another person in the moment.
Different if it's important obviously. Work text. Family. Scheduling that needs to be set that day. But outside that, really your girl doesn't hold time with you in high enough regard.0
Ask her. Talk to her about it.
So you're self conscious, could've handled it better, whatever. You can nitpick anything anyone does til the end of time. Unless you did something TRULY BAD in one way or the other, it doesn't matter what you did or how you handled it.
But ask her. Talk to her about it.0
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What should I think if my girlfriend is snapchatting another guy?
This is a question that many people ask themselves, and it can be difficult to know what to think in this situation. However, there are a few things that you can keep in mind that may help you to understand what is going on.
First, it is important to remember that people use social media for different reasons. Some people use it to stay in touch with friends and family, while others use it to share their thoughts and experiences with the world. It is also important to remember that people can use social media to communicate with people who they are not in a relationship with.
Second, it is important to consider the context of the situation. If your girlfriend is snapchatting with another guy, but she has never done this before, it is likely that she is just being friendly. However, if she is constantly snapchatting with him and you have never seen them interact in person, it is possible that there is more going on.
Third, it is important to trust your gut. If you feel like something is going on, it is probably best to talk to your girlfriend about it. It is possible that she is completely innocent and there is nothing going on, but it is also possible that she is hiding something from you. If you have a feeling that something is going on, it is best to talk to her about it so that you can get to the bottom of the situation.