He's snap chatting another girl?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of two years is snap chatting another girl to the point that she's on his "best friend" list. It makes me uncomfortable but I don't know if I should say anything to him about it. Should I bring it up, or just let it go?

[dropthetuna]

Firstly, it's healthy for anyone of any gender to have good friendships with people of the opposite sex. It's really difficult to tell how people feel about each other if it's all on snapchat or the likes. The best way to tell is to see how they act around each other in real life, not snapchat.
And yes, if you're comfortable with each other, it's okay to bring it up.

[Asker]

Well that's the thing - I don't know her, he's never talked about her. As far as I know they haven't hung out in person. I looked her snap chat name up on Facebook, because it's her name, and if it is 'her' they're not even friends on Facebook. I sound crazy, I know.

[dropthetuna]

I understand your concern (it's frustrating!), seeing him interact with other girls. I still say that you need to be able to communicate with each other about things like this.
You're not crazy, either. All relationships experience minor roadblocks. You just have to learn how to drive past.
So yes, just talk to him honestly. He should appreciate your caring :)

[Asker]

I just don't want to overwhelm him because this will be the second time I'm asking about a girl on snapchat and I'm just worried my jealousy will push him away. He tells me all the time it shows that I care that I get a little jealous, but I still freak myself out. So, I should just bring it up? "So I was on snap chat and I was just wondering who is..." It is just very frustrating. I haven't talked to any guys except those I work with or his friends when we hang out in a group because I know he doesn't like it, I would just like the same respect...

[dropthetuna]

After two years of dating, he should be (needs to be) comfortable discussing your concerns. I know this is cliché, but love IS a two way street. Your concerns are just as valid as his, and I see no reason why he won't talk to you about it of you approach it calmly and rationally.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Why wouldn't you say something about it?

[Asker]

I don't want to seem like "the crazy girlfriend."

[yaddayaddayadda02]

So you are accepting the behavior and have no room to complain if he continues to do it.

[Asker]

Well this would be the second time I'm asking about a girl on snapchat.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

And what happened the first time?

[Asker]

He said she sends the snaps and he doesn't reply, it's just an old friend.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

And you find that acceptable behavior from a boyfriend or not?

[Asker]

I would just like to know. I feel like a control freak but he told me he doesn't like when guys, even just from work, text or snapchat me. So I think it's fair I can tell him I don't like it either.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I think that's reasonable. So we are back to my original advice. Talk to him about it

[Asker]

But does that sound too controlling or crazy if I bring it up and ask him to stop?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He is engaging In Behavior you find disrespectful to your relationship. If you say nothing to him, you are condoning his behavior and encouraging him to continue. How you 'sound' is irrelevant

[Anonymous]

Ask him about her. Not in an accusing fashion though. Just out of curiosity. If he thinks you're accusing him you won't get a good response.

[Asker]

I wasn't going to accuse him. It does just make me uncomfortable since he hasn't talked about her or anything and he's good about that. He tells me when he gets hit on at parties and stuff. That's why I'm so blah.

[sanityandsunflowers]

Has he talked about her before in a friendship context? If he hasn't said anything about her then I'd ask. It could also just be family...

[rthomas43]

Hsha back in the old days, one of my exes got mad at the "slut" posting a comment to me on MySpace. Said slut was my cousin lol

[sanityandsunflowers]

Haha awkward. She had to have been mortified...

[Asker]

It isn't family. I know. Lol.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yeah, seems kind of wrong for him to do that
but his age has got lot to do with it to, you
need to communicate with him, tell him your
not happy he snapchats with girls.

[Asker]

I'm just worries he will freak out. But also he told me he hates it when guys from work text and snap chat me so I feel like it's not fair.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Maybe you two need talk this over

[HarryStyles]

It's a little weird. I'd probably not like it if it were me - but equally, girls and guys can be friends... just not 'good' friends, not really IMO.

[Asker]

That's what's bothering me - I've never heard of her. We have the same group of friends so yeah.

[rthomas43]

Depends in the girl.
Just a friend of his?
Im in a relationship. She snspchats guys, I snapchat girls.

[Asker]

I have never heard her name, they're not friends on Facebook.

[rthomas43]

Casually ask about her.

[Asker]

How? It just makes me feel bad because it seems like I'm checking in on him.