He said I'm not his usual "type", should I move on?

[Anonymous]

So there's this guy I've been seeing, he's very interested in me, I do know that because we've slept together a lot and he wanted me to meet his friends. But he recently told me he only goes for tattooed and pierced girls, because he's like that. And they're usually white.

I'm not full white and I'm not tattooed, but I am attractive. He says he wants a girl he could be a power couple with, when it comes to looks. And now I feel really uncomfortable, like i'm not up to par or something. This doesn't feel right. He said him and his ex were a great power couple, and he seems like he still isn't over her. Should I just cut it off? I feel insecure now knowing what she looks like. She's gorgeous.

Updates

+1 y

He sounds superficial and I'm more about personality and stuff..

[Kyndra]

When I first read the title I didn't think it was a bad thing. My boyfriend's exes are almost all blondes, as well as his celebrity crushes so it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he just told you you weren't his usual type. But the fact that he told you he ONLY goes for tattooed and pierced girls, and told you what a great couple he was with his ex makes it sound worse.
That being said, it kinda depends on when you two started seeing each other. If it was very recent he might still be talking based on his physical attraction towards you. But if it has been sometime and he's still talking about types and exes, that's a red flag.

[kittykatg]

All the other girls my fiancé has dated was brunette and he is in general more attracted to brunettes but he's martyinge. Embrace being different from the other girls. It shows that he likes you for more than just your looks.

[Asker]

Do you think he actually does like me and is saying that to make me feel special? The guys on this website are saying he made it clear he just wants me for sex cause I'm not his "type".

I'm just really confused.

[kittykatg]

That could be the case but I sincerely doubt it always is. If it was, then why would he be marrying me if all he wanted me for was sex? Makes no sense.

[rthomas43]

What the fuck is a "power couple"?

He finds you attractive, hence him sleeping with you.

People are pickier about who they date. He wants a girl to be attractive AND be his type before he enters into a relationship with them.

He didn't do anything wrong and you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.

[Asker]

A couple who looks attractive together. Both attractive and stuff. Just so superficial.

He's chasing what he used to have, he told me all about how him and his ex was like that. Very nostalgic about it... and i don't wanna be second best.

[rthomas43]

"and i don't wanna be second best"

I think he's made it clear that he has no desire to be in a relationship with you.
If you're cool continuing to just be fuck buddies, then carry on. If you aren't, then cut things off with him.

[Asker]

Hmm, well I wish I took it that way, I just don't understand why he continues to act really into me, when he isn't in that way. It's weird.

Well this is depressing, I'm gonna cut him off.

[epiman94]

He sounds superficial, and not worth your time. What does white have to do with it? Tattoos and piercing are a little more relevant, since its more like part of his lifestyle. The race thing is just stupid. You sound
lovely. Look for someone who appreciates you for who you are.

[Asker]

He's very into appearance. It seems like he looks for that more than anything else, and i'm more about feeling a connection and what's inside. I don't want to have to worry about how I look so we can be a power couple and stuff. I just wanna be myself, and I don't know why he brought that up. It's like he wants me to know that's what I would have to do?

Just odd..

[epiman94]

His whole power couple thing sounds Very odd. You want to be yourself, which is awesome. Stay true to that.

[Asker]

He says he likes me a lot though, he says it all the time and how I'm really hot, etc. He's cooked for me before and is really sweet. But maybe he just wants sex, and he wouldn't date someone like me cause I'm not all into my appearance like its all I live for..

Guess I'm just gonna stop replying to his texts all together.

[epiman94]

So him calling you hot is basically him giving his approval of your appearance. I mean, its nice to get complements, but he seems very materialistic inn this relationship, and you being hot is basically the most important thing to him.(even though you're 'not his type'.)

[Asker]

True.. I wish I took it that way. I took it like this: "I usually have dated this type of girl, but you're my first girl who's different and I like that you're unique so I want to show you that you're special."

Lol I really shouldn't have. First time I've felt self conscious about not being a pretty white girl in a long time. Depressing.

[epiman94]

I didn't think of it that way. I thougjt it was a negative thing by the way the question started 'wtf, he said...'. I like how you took it more.

[Asker]

I mean he didn't say it in a mean way, it came up in conversation.

[epiman94]

Then don't feel bad. I still know you can do better than a guy who compares you to his exes though.

[Asker]

Yeah you're right. She's absolutely gorgeous. I just wish guys were less superficial. I'm pretty attractive but I want to be known more for my personality and its a shame that doesn't matter to most guys.

I give up.

[epiman94]

It does matter. Even look at the questions on here. Its a lot of guys wondering how they can get a nice girl. Not get the hottest girl, not form the greatest power couple. Guys love girls for their personalities andlooks. It sounds like you have both. You just need to step up your confidence.

[JohnStamoist]

If you have any respect for yourself you stop taking to the guy. He won't ask you out because you aren't his type, so essentially he's just using you for sex until he find his "type". Up to you if you want to be that girl to him.

[Asker]

He says he really likes me though, he's said it a lot. and holds my hand in public, he cooked dinner for me once..

I'm just not sure. What do you think?

[JohnStamoist]

He's saying what you want to hear so he can get into your pants. He's cooked dinner for you once? Big deal, I've cooked dinner for my friends that were girls without expecting anything, we were just having a good time watching the soccer game.

Think about it, if he actually liked you then he would date you, disregarding his usual "type". He's read you and knows exactly what you want from him that will make you have sex with him. I wouldn't waste anymore time on the guy if I were you.

[Asker]

Hmm well that makes sense. I'm gonna just ask him what he wants out of this, and say that I don't just wanna be a fuck buddy. and if he's not down then I'll say see you later, but we can stay friends..

I just don't know how to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Either he is using you for sex and doesn't care about you at all, or he is trying to damage your self-esteem so that you are easier to control. Either way I don't think he is the right guy for you.

[Uriahrk47]

Tell him unless he's serious about you that you guys are through. Just my thought.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Time to move on.

[Asker]

I will. But he didn't say it in a mean way. Maybe he meant that I'm the first girl he's been with whose different?

[AlwaysBelieving]

Either way, it's on of my beliefs that a guys job is to make a gal feel as if she's the most beautiful thing in the world. This doesn't do that.

[Asker]

You're right. Definitely time to move on.

Should I just ignore him or tell him we should just be friends?

[Asker]

i want to say "well I like you and I don't just wanna have a sex buddy at this point in my life, I realized that. and I know you don't usually go for girls like me, so should we just be friends?"

[AlwaysBelieving]

I'd go with ignore personally. He could try to "Wiesel his way back."

[Asker]

If I ignore him he still could try..

[AlwaysBelieving]

Ignoring has less chance of wielding than being a friend would.

[AlwaysBelieving]

*wiesling. Freekin ac.