Sexual/Demisexual Relationship, and how to approach it?

So I recently began a relationship with a demisexual girl, and am really interested in her, though am a sexual male myself. Do any of you have experience with this kind of relationship?

For those who don't know, Demi-sexual is a secondary attraction where a person has to first have a deep emotional bond with their partner before they can actually feel attracted to them in any way at all.

This is difficult for me, just because I tend to show my emotions through non-verbal communication and contact a lot. Not referring to sex, but just intimacy. I find it hard to understand how someone could fall for another person without having some kind of attraction to them.

Have any of you faced this, or have any advice on the situation? I really care about her, and want our relationship to flourish. I'll do anything I can, but if she can't be attracted to me, I don't know if there is anything I can really do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not quite sure what your problem is.

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    • As a girl who is demisexual I have some advice for you or anyone in your position. There isn't much you can do if she is truly not attracted. However, the only way to find that out is to be a friend. If she's attracted, she'll start to emotional reach out to you more. For demisexual people even friendships are growing processes as you feel the person's personality out. If you're a good guy and truly care about her, then working towards a friendship is a great thing for you. Even if she never grows sexual feelings for you, if you aren't a jerk then you'll come out with a close and loyal friend. Most demisexuals I know are loyal to a fault, and she'll even probably feel guilty if she doesn't. Just start building a relationship, and let her grow it into something beautiful even if it isn't excatly what you were looking for.

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What Girls Said 2

  • They have a name for this. I mean this could happen with anyone . A lot of times u dnt get drawn to a person unless he makes u fall in love with him. So this is demi-sexual? Okayy... i guess u have to memorize some poems

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  • I'm demisexual myself, and what has worked for me is having my partner just be open about everything. If your way of showing you care for her is being intimate, ask her what she's okay with and go from there. Apart from that, the only other thing is waiting for her to develop a real attraction to you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you being yourself doesn't turn on her made-up sexual orientation, just move on.

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  • Read some seduction techniques and try them on her.

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