Why are girls so shallow about money when it comes to dating?

[Redsfan192]

I'm 24 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, had sex or ever had any form of a hookup whatsoever. It's not my fault. I'm pretty sure most girls between 18-29(I'll say under 30) only go after guys who are wealthy and leave guys like me (who work for a living) out of the picture.

I'm going into my last semester of college and I'll be a teacher next Fall (student teaching.) I've been rejected by countless girls in my life. I was 13 years old the first time I asked a girl out, so it's been eleven consecutive years of rejection. Eleven years. Let that sink in.

Girls in college are the worst. Actually, worse than high school. They literally will ONLY date the richest guys on campus. High school girls were picky about social status (how "popular" the guy is) but at least they didn't care if you weren't making much money. I have two jobs, one pays ten an hour and one pays nine an hour but I still only make around 150-200 dollars a week, since I don't work many hours at either one. It's not my fault, I need a job to work around my school schedule. Even when I start teaching, I'll only start out between $35-40,000 a year.

I'm funny, confident, smart and have an amazing personality, but unfortunately, none of this matters.

In the poll, do you think girls are too shallow?

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

The guy I like is super busy. He works and studies at the same time, and usually gets home late in the evening/at night. He doesn't make very much. He's going to move in with his brother soon because he can't afford to live in the (very small) apartment he lives in now. He's slowly paying back some loans. His situation is far from stable. I'm 20, going to move out of my parents' apartment soon. I really like this guy. I have liked him for 2 years now. So the fact that he barely has any money doesn't bother me at all. I don't need to go on any fancy dates. I don't need him to buy me presents. I don't need him to take me on trips. All I need is HIM. As long as I'm with him, it doesn't matter what we're doing or where we are. We could be on his bed in silence for hours and it wouldn't matter to me, because I value his company and I value him as a person, I don't give a shit about his wallet. As long as he's taking good care of me by being affectionate and by showing that I matter and that he respects me, I'm good. And no, like I said, he doesn't have to show it by buying me stuff or taking me places.
So basically, what I'm trying to say is that not all girls give a shit about money. You've just had bad luck with girls. Maybe it's the way you look, or the way you approach them, or the way you behave in general. Don't just assume that it's all OUR fault that we don't automatically find you attractive and appealing. You should start by asking YOURSELF if there's room for improvement, if there's something you can do/say differently, if you can dress differently etc. Instead of blaming everyone else for lack of success, you should ask yourself first and foremost if the "problem" is actually YOU. Considering that you've had 11 unsuccessful years, I think it's pretty safe to say that there's something wrong with your approach. Granted, that you've tried to ask out various different types of girls, and not only the shallow type.

[Opinion Owner]

Judging by your picture, you look very angry, tense and intimidating.

[Redsfan192]

Well, I'll applaud you for your open-mindedness. To answer your questions, 1. I think I look just fine. I hate it when people assume "looks" play a role. I'm sure some girls find me attractive, while some do not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this is true. 2. I personally think I dress ok. Then again, if a girl focuses on the way I look OR dress, that just enhances MY point of girls being superficial. Except those notions go beyond money. 3. I have taken a look at myself. I see a completely sober, hard-working, intelligent, confident, successful young man. What do I need to improve on? I don't have many flaws at all.

I think I just have very bad luck. I'll give you credit for dating a guy who struggles to make ends, not many girls are that open anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

Looks do play a role. They're the very first thing you can judge a person by. It's somewhat shallow, yes, but you'd be lying to yourself if you claim that you have never, and never will, judge someone for their looks. But initial attraction is important if you want to be successful with girls, especially if you don't know these girls very well when you ask them out. I'm not saying that you need to dress in a suit and tie, I'm just saying that a set of clean and (at least, somewhat) stylish clothes can go a long way. Like I said, attraction is important. Of course, the way someone dresses shouldn't completely control whether someone is attractive or not, but it's a good starting point and it does play a role. I think that how someone dresses says a lot about how they are as a person.
What you might need to improve on is your approach. Are you too aggressive? Are you too friendly? Do you flirt? Do you flirt too much? Are you clingy? Are you arrogant?

[Opinion Owner]

The fact that you don't think you "don't have many flaws at all" also kind of makes me think that you're not making too big of an effort when you look at yourself in the mirror.

[Redsfan192]

Looks only play a role with MEN. Men are visually stimulated, while women are stimulated by money. It's rare this is flip-fopped.

[Opinion Owner]

And that's bullshit.

[Redsfan192]

It's accurate. Why do you think women will date men they don't find physically attractive at all but these same men happen to be wealthy?

[Opinion Owner]

Do you even realize that that's actually pretty rare? Most people make an average amount of money. And why would you want to attract a girl who's only into your money anyway? That's sad.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Only the hottest of the hot girls (ig famous, models, promo girls, strippers, local celebs) are that picky. Or moneyed girls from upper class families. All other women do not require a guy to be so wealthy he doesn't have to work. That should be good news for guys because that means 80% of women are open to dating men who aren't wealthy.

The first type of girls know their dating market value so don't begrudge them for dating Rich guys. The people on the top of the totem pole get to date each other and that's the way life is. The second group of girls also shouldn't be judged. Most people date within their socio-economic class it's natural.

The problem is when people start shooting above their league and want to be upset they aren't getting the girls they feel entitled to. Some guys are only interested in the girls who make their dicks hardest and get angry when those women don't go along with the program in their mind, and pick other men. If you are so dissatisfied with these girls Maybe you need to be receptive to women on your level. A lot of Men who complain how women only care about money are the same guys who only care about looks and sex.

[Redsfan192]

First of all, I find your definition of the "hottest of hot" quite funny. Personally, I see many ugly famous girls (even models at that), and strippers and so on. It's not just upper-class girls who are gold-diggers, there are gold-diggers in every social class.

If you read my description, I will date a majority of girls. If I had to estimate, I would date roughly 80% of girls in the 18-29 age group. I'm nowhere near picky. However, it does't matter. There really is no such thing as "leagues" or "levels" if you ask me.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Leagues and levels exist. Refusing to believe or acknowledge this is a problem. Like I said most women are not holding out for the trust fund kid unless you're in certain circles. How would you explain the countless men who aren't millionaires who do date?

[Redsfan192]

Leagues and levels don't exist in the dating world. I agree most women in GENERAL (Wealthy, middle class or poverty) want rich men. I have been rejected by DIRT POOR women (with no job as a matter of fact) just as easily as being turned down by a wealthy girl. The problem with the theory of "out of your league", is it's all opinion. I have a 350lb friend (and he's only 5'11, mind you) who is dating a thin girl. I personally would say she's a 9/10(just my opinion but others would agree) However, his family net worth is around $750,000 a year and he's spoiled (and he spoils her.) The girl he's dating is just an average joe as far as money goes.

I'm not saying you have to be filthy rich to get a girl, but you do have to be wealthy.

[been_waiting]

I'm so tired of this logic. "I don't get girls, and I have a particular trait. Therefore all girls dislike this particular trait."
Its the same thing with "nice guys." And the same thing you're doing here.
My 21 year old brother works at Kroger and lives at home for Christ's sake and is rarely single. My best guy friend is 18 and works at an autoshop making minimum wage and gets girls.
My friends are all dating guys who work in fast food places.
The guy I'm crushing on doesn't even have a fucking job.
I don't know why you're single because I've never met you but it isn't your damn income. That's just a cop out on your part. Rather than looking for what's wrong with you that turns girls off you say there's something wrong with ALL girls. So no way there's something wrong with you the individual-the fault must lie with 3.5 billion people instead.

[Redsfan192]

I'm not solely using my experience. I'm judging from many other men I know too.

[Redsfan192]

Another note, the "there's roughly X-billion girls in the world' argument is heavily flawed too. There may be billions of girls in the world, but I live in a specific country, in a specific state, in a specific county, in a specific city, in a specific neighborhood and I attend a specific job. That lowers my dating pool to roughly 30,000 women... and in MY AREA (not the rest of the world), virtually every girl is shallow.

I'm sick of THAT logic. There must be a reason why virtually every wealthy man can pick up girls like it's nothing. OH wait... it's his wallet!

[been_waiting]

And if you knew how to think critically you'd realize that it is the same concept- you're blaming thousands of people rather than yourself. If 30,000 people do a math problem and they all get -12 and you are the only one to get -13 who's more likely to be wrong?

Maybe you're flawed in some ways and your friends are as well. After all we are friends with people similar to us. One apparent flaw you have is being a condescending and mopy person from what I can see.

And also, if girls will only date guys that make a lot of money, only like 10% of men would ever get married. In reality I think that number is 51% or something of the sort and that's saying something since more people than ever are deciding not to get married.

And yep super rich dudes are always gonna get money hungry hoes.
Also have you noticed how bleach blonde women with plastic tits and doll faces are never single? Yeah some people are just shallow. Anything new?

[Redsfan192]

Just because a majority of people feel or think a certain way, doesn't mean it's true or right. 99 people can solve 2+2=3, and the other person figured 2+2=4... who was right? The point I'm making is, women are generally the problem here.

I wasn't suggesting only the super rich get girls. If that was the case, you're right, only about 10% of guys would get girls. But guys who are WELL OFF have a major advantage. I do think you have to make close to six figures for girls in my age group.

[been_waiting]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You're SO delusional that its actually funny to me.
very very very few men make six figures between the ages of 18-29. That would probably be LESS than ten percent. Waaaaay less. Probably looking at 2% at the most. So by your reasoning just a few dudes your age would have gfs. www.advisorperspectives.com/.../...ge-Brackets.php

If you look at these charts its already rare as hell for anyone to make six figures. I mean of ALL Americans only 20% make six figures (Google it)

[been_waiting]

That's men and women of all ages. So for men specifically over 18 and below 30... that number is in the toilet.

Hmmm maybe you're a mopy entitled person who blames women for your lack of success and decides to paint them all in a negative light instead of taking personal responsibility for you own character and you're also not very good at logic.

[been_waiting]

I'm 18 and I've never had a bf. The two guys I have ever liked didn't like me back.

I'm shy, sarcastic and energetic.
But you don't see me saying "omg guys only go for girls who are outgoing! " or girls who are more laid back. Hell I've got small boobs but I'm not saying most men only want big boobed girls. That's silly.

[MakeitOrDieTrying]

Imma have to agree that you're just using money as a cop out. Have you seen your picture? You look mad and bitter as fuck, ain't no girl going near that. Hit the gym, smile, look approachable and not full of anger and bitterness.

[been_waiting]

@MakeitOrDieTrying don't you get it? Its shallow if a girl wants an attractive approachable guy! Duh. By now guys should be able to live in boxes and look like angry hobos and still pull the hotties 😒 (sarcasm)

[genuinlysensitive]

I agree man, SO, mny women are like that. Too many in fact. Unfortunately, most of the responses you will get will be pissed off women thinking you mean all women are like that or idiots whos only advice to other men for any situation is, "man up bitch." Because if you stop asking questions that will somehow solve everything.

I feel your pain, the best advice I have come up with is simply

1. Never ask her out for dinners at first, a cup of coffee or something like a long walk on a beach.

2. Tell her you dont have a lot of money.

It will be easy to tell which women who aren't interested just dont click and the gold diggers. There are a lotout there, too many, but not all.

[Anonymous]

"I'm pretty sure most girls between 18-29(I'll say under 30) only go after guys who are wealthy"

That's YOUR hang up.

There's a guy in the next thread who thinks girls only go for guys over 6' in height. (guess what? He's short.)

There's a guy in the thread after that who thinks girls only date guys who have 8 inch cocks or bigger. (Guess what? He's got 5 inches)

These are all problems that you guys bring in your own head. They don't reflect reality at all. They just reflect what YOU are afraid of, and it's usually something beyond your control.

[Redsfan192]

I'm not speaking solely for myself. I'm speaking from many other people I've met in my life and other people I know.

To go a little off topic here, I have noticed girls generally will gravitate towards tall men. And this is coming from a guy who's six feet, two inches tall.

[Opinion Owner]

But they don't decide not to date someone just because he isn't 6'2". That's the point.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I don't know what kind of girls you meet, but most girls I know (myself included) don't care about money. I grew up poor, and I learned from my mother that borrowing money from someone else means you don't have much pride. You need to earn every cent you make in life. As soon as I was 12 years old, I started working (just baby-sitting and odd jobs) and everything I needed like school clothes, supplies and lunch, I bought with my own money. I bought anything else I wanted. I never asked my mother for money. Even when she had money and she wanted to give me an allowance, I said no.

I've been out on my own since I was 19 and every single thing I have in life I earned all by myself. I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of someone else paying for me. I don't like it for dates. I prefer to pay for myself. I also make really good money. The thought of getting with a guy for money makes me extremely uncomfortable.

[kheserthorpe]

First of all, most studies show that girls barely think about money in a partner till they graduate.

Second of all, when you do graduate, yes, rich guys do better, but any employed guy does okay, unemployed guys face a much tougher slope (though it's not impossible).

There are other reasons girls aren't interested in you. This isn't why.

[Redsfan192]

Lol and what is the credibility to these "studies"? If anything, girls care more about money BEFORE you graduate.

[kheserthorpe]

Here's the data from okcupid on how male reported income affects number of messages he receives a week relative to average guys of his age:

cdn.okcimg.com/.../...stributionByIncomeBright.png

Massive kick at age 23.

There are issues you can talk about with the okcupid dataset, but they beat the hell out of any anecdote.

[Redsfan192]

Lol Okcpuid is a joke. I used that website and it was a fail. The "data" on that site is unreliable.

[kheserthorpe]

Oh, thanks for clearing that up. Your unsupported personal anecdotes are a lot more persuasive as hard evidence.

[Bugiman]

I voted no cause you don't make much sense. there are way more regular people then there are rich ones. definitely at a young age, then you almost for sure have to come out of a wealthy family to be rich.
So how would what you say be even possible? That would mean only about 6% of the entire male world population is good enough to get a girl?
LOL, i'm 24 myself and so are most of my friends, a lot of them have gf's, me too. And none of us are rich. Maybe a couple that can rely on some extra cash from their parents. But not like they are rich themselves or something lol.

[Bugiman]

and even if what you say is true, then why would you even want a girl? If they're all so bad and money hungry?
The idea of having a gf that would only like me of my money (not that i have much but suppose that i would) makes me shiver. Always having to doubt that what she says is real or just kissing ass to get presents and stuff... how annoying would that get?

[Redsfan192]

Keep in mind, I'm not saying you have to be filthy rich or even remotely rich to get a girlfriend, then I agree, maybe 10% of guy would have a girlfriend (at the mot.) I AM saying you do have to be well-off.

I mainly want a girl for sexual purposes. I don't care about the whole dating process.

[Blondiee2014]

Not at all.
Your either unattractive physically or your personality is unattractive or both.
But to say all girls only date rich guys or popular guys is like saying all guys date rich girls or popular girls. It's conpletley not true I'm afraid.
I'm a student and work at a gas station and I'm 24. I never have much money after paying bills as I live alone in a apartment and I still get girls.

[Redsfan192]

No, your comparison is false. I never said "ALL", I just said most. Girls mainly want guys with money, guys mainly want girls who look good. Why do you think Hollywood stars, athletes, musicians, etc can get almost any girl they want?

[Blondiee2014]

@asker ok then everyone wants a nice rich partner males and females!
Everyone in the world wants that why wouldn't they?
Any way your problem is not that you are not rich ok I promise you.
Your either just not an attractive guy physically or your personality is unattractive.
Probably your personality because lots of below average looking guys have gfs.
I would say you are missing the trick with just they way you act towards females.
Trust me I'm not the best looking guy and have no money at all.
I have had lots of girls.
I'm just gonna leave this link here for you, I would advice you watch the entire video because towards the end he gives good advice that you sound like you will benefit from.
He basically says that you have to actually do something or you won't get it, watch it.

[Blondiee2014]

@asker https://youtu.be/fgbCOZpXUqE

[SolitaireBond]

Believe you me, the right girl IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE waiting for you to find her... And when you do SHE is going to sweep you clean off your feet.

As the old saying goes..."Everything Comes To Those Who Wait"

In the meantime please take it from both @Bethany-Louise and myself, as girls we can be the rightful judges in saying that those girls at your college are most definitely NOT THE RIGHT ONES for you.

[Anonymous]

I think in a way yes. Here's what I know and I have seen based off of experience. Girls like the bad boy so you have to be a bad boy to get the girls. I know how your feeling right now. Similar situation but I am staying agile to avoid drama. Younger girls go after older and wealthier men typically. You should go after older women or BBW's as they are easier to put out and you get laid. Avoid single mothers though. You get more experience and laid. Then when you build your career you become wealthier and then get younger chicks meanwhile the ones who rejected you will become over the hill and will be harder to find any guy or will be used for sex typically. Your young girl is in the 4th grade or middle school. You can wait if you want. I have had friends that have done this and it's true. I know how you feel. So this approach is you could say revenge. It's the perfect crime

[RationalMale]

With all due respect, I've seen more than a few examples that money is not that important in dating... a overweight friend of mine who was from a good family, but fell from grace (dealt drugs, now tatted up and works at a sushi place) married a fairly attractive Asian girl. Asian girls aren't my type, but she was definitely a 7 or 8.

Another guy I worked with at a part-time sales job... he was morbidly obese. Like, probably 400 pounds. Some broke Christian guy in "the ministry" trying to get through some college or whatever on financial aid... married a really good looking blond. Definitely an 8 or so.

My own younger sister, rather crazy but very good looking according to guys I know, dates pretty much only broke losers. 23 year old broke ass construction worker living at home, with only a GED? She wanted to marry. Broke black thug who doesn't even have a car? Date! 24 year old loser working at publix, criminal record, overweight, broke? Move in with!

[RationalMale]

This isn't really the age where a girls gets married young and is supported... women can be job slaves too, so they're not worried about how much a man makes.

Or, as a paper I read put it, it's long term mating habits vs short term mating. Girls aren't very serious today. They want thrills, not a man who can support her.

[kangy]

Yes and No.
I can't choose the above option.
There are indeed girls who are very shallow like those you met, but there are down to earth girls.
You wouldn't want those girls anyway, so thankfully they reveal their true selves before you plunge deeper. So it is your blessing.

[Anonymous]

Not all women are shallow. I honestly never think of money when choosing a possible boyfriend. I go by personality and hygiene and he has to be intelligent. I won't date a guy who won't wash his hair for days/weeks. Its gross. To say all women are shallow is not very logical because all women are different. Maybe you just go after girls who aren't "into" everything that makes you, you. Its not their fault or theirs. Everyone has their own preferences. Not everyone is a gold digger.

[Izzex3]

You seem extremely bitter.
I'm a college student and I haven't met any girls who rejected a guy just because they didn't have a lot of money.
We're all broke and in debt here.
The problem is obviously you.

[Redsfan192]

Maybe it's just YOUR college? The colleges in my area are predominately wealthy students who will only date men for their money.

[Anonymous]

Money isn't your issue, unless for some reason you have an extreme radar for gold diggers, who aren't that common. Most average guys I know dated at least some in college - including tons of teachers. It's something else going wrong.

[Redsfan192]

You really think gold-diggers aren't that common? I can tell you right now, girls under 30 are more than likely gold-diggers.

[Opinion Owner]

There are some, but it's not the majority.

[itselectric]

I picked no because i'm not like this. however, it really makes me questions the type of girl YOU are aiming towards. dont go finding the "high maintenance" girls if you know you dont make that much money

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest QA, you sound extremely miserable and negative and like a pure misogynist.

Your looks and money aren't whats getting you rejected bro.

[Redsfan192]

I never said anything about my looks (women date men they find unattractive all the time.) It is about money though.

[gentlerain]

Because they rather sound shallow than crazy. Most girls think far into the future, their kids, their wedding & their future with you. If they cannot see a great future with your current finances they will be turned off because they want to fulfill their dreams. I know you shouldn't be the one to do this, but if you like her restore the faith and let her know that the future will be bright no matter how rich or poor you are. I really don't know how to help you.

[James0]

People are shallow in general, and the biggest problem is not looking at oneself and expect the world to cater to our desires. A relationship is a two way street, both sides will have expectations

[Bethany-Louise]

Sounds like the girls at your college are.. That isn't the case for sooooo many women though :)

[Magirific]

I'll be honest QA, you sound extremely miserable and negative and like a pure misogynist.

Your looks and money aren't whats getting you rejected bro.

[Taraborelli1997]

Some girls are shallow sadly ! But not all are like that, I couldn't care less about money, popularity as long as a guy treated me well and was a good person I would be happy. Maybe you have just gone for the wrong girls.

[Anonymous]

People in general are shallow, women want a handsome and charming prince who's minted. Guys want a girlfriend who's good looking but not a bitch at the same time. Both expectations are unrealistic!

[80HDx]

I don't give a fuck about money. Your attitude about dating is your problem.

[Anonymous]

I dont care about money. Well maybe thats not the right word, but i dont see guys from what they have materially. If they have a good personality and theyre quite good looking i'd still go out with them. And hey we could ask my dadda for money! :D

[Keyspirits]

LOL! Daddy would spank dat azz for asking about money

[Watermelonoma]

girls in college dont care about money or any of that. Just listen to @kheserthorpe. While i am not here, he is my steward

[Redsfan192]

Lol come to Miami University (located in Oxford Ohio, NOT the Miami in Florida.) Girls here ONLY care about money!

[bubbletrouble]

So which is it?

Girls like broke worthless jerks?

Or we like rich guys?

I'm confused at this point.

[Redsfan192]

Who said girls like "broke, worthless jerks"? I never said that. I'm sure some guys do but I never said that.

[Anonymous]

I think guys can be just as bad, just ask my ex Shallow Al what he looked for in a girl!

[Redsfan192]

Guys are just as shallow as girls, but the primary difference is, men are shallow about looks, while women are shallow about materialistic things (such as money.)

[scrappygirl]

i dont care about money. as long as your face is handsome i don't care about your money at all lol.

[Crazyced]

Your premiss is wrong. You need to be able to talk the talk. Forge your personality and stand out in your own way.

[WhaChaChaKing]

I'm in college and couldn't care less about how much money the guy has. I don't particularly like your attitude though, maybe that's why you can't get dates.

[Anonymous]

You're obviously not good in choosing whom you date

[Ihav2fart]

Its only until after they're done with college do they care. They want Financial security.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying that a 13 year old girl rejected you because of your lack of money?

[Opinion Owner]

Ohh nevermind. I skipped some parts. Lol There are poor guys that get women though, so it really shouldn't be your biggest issue.

[MissBeauty21]

Hey the right girl is out there somewhere. Not all girls are shallow you know. Money and looks don't matter.

[Anonymous]

i would think age plays a factor in girls expecting guys to have money

[Redsfan192]

YES! That's why I said women under 30. YOUNG girls are extremely shallow about money.

[Anonymous]

That's BS, I work part time and go to class at 21. i still get girls.

[Anonymous]

No only some do
Girls like guys with charisma

[Anonymous]

Story of my life...